It is coming, my friends. Can you sense it? It is the inevitable doom on the horizon and it is rushing at all of us like a black basalt wave under a moonless midnight sky. We can sense it, feel it in our bones, and we are powerless to stop its crushing, relentless assault. It is coming…
Valentine’s Day.
I heard on a radio add that two out of every three women are disappointed on Valentine’s Day. What is synonymous with the holiday? Flowers, chocolates, hearts, jewelry. It is a time for a man to put forth a display to showcase how much he loves his woman. And what do the women have to do for this holiday?
I asked several ladies at my job what they are doing for their men this Valentine’s Day. The most common answer given? Nothing. “I guess I’ll give him some…”
That is all women have to do on Valentine’s Day. Put out. That’s it. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is a fantastic gift and no man ever turns it down. But look at the stress and angina that we have to go through to get it.
Case in point, in one Facebook entry, a girl was commenting on how the cupid arrow had struck her boyfriend and the person said, “Wonder what he wants?” Now, the short answer is “let me get up in them guts.”
But regardless of what we do, men are screwed. Every second of every day. Women are often so self-conscious about their appearance that if a man comments on how pretty they look, then clearly we must be up to something. We must want something if we are being complimentary. It is like we always have an ulterior motive.
Now, maybe, 90% of the time we do. But that ulterior motive is to, again, get up in them guts.
But it is so nightmarishly unfair. Men run around looking to find all the perfect gifts. If you don’t buy her diamonds on Valentine’s Day, you don’t love her. Didn’t bring her flowers, you don’t love her. “Why didn’t you buy me chocolates? Marie’s husband bought her chocolates! Is it because I’m fat?”
And so, to quote my last blog entry, men get punch drunk. So, riddle me this, ladies. What are you doing for your man this Valentine’s Day? Throw you legs up in the air and maybe, if he’s lucky, get all the way naked? You promise not to wear the flannel footie pajamas to bed that night?
Romance is a two way street and just giving it up without an argument is not really much of a gift. I say this not to chastise but to educate. Try to see things from our point of view once in a while. By the previous rationale, Romance is like having us start at our own two-yard line to begin the drive but when you get the ball, you get to start in the Red Zone.
It’s all too easy for you all. We gird our loins and charge once more into the breach. And all you have to do is say, “Come and get it” or in some cases “Well, let’s get this over with…”
Valentine’s Day.
I heard on a radio add that two out of every three women are disappointed on Valentine’s Day. What is synonymous with the holiday? Flowers, chocolates, hearts, jewelry. It is a time for a man to put forth a display to showcase how much he loves his woman. And what do the women have to do for this holiday?
I asked several ladies at my job what they are doing for their men this Valentine’s Day. The most common answer given? Nothing. “I guess I’ll give him some…”
That is all women have to do on Valentine’s Day. Put out. That’s it. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is a fantastic gift and no man ever turns it down. But look at the stress and angina that we have to go through to get it.
Case in point, in one Facebook entry, a girl was commenting on how the cupid arrow had struck her boyfriend and the person said, “Wonder what he wants?” Now, the short answer is “let me get up in them guts.”
But regardless of what we do, men are screwed. Every second of every day. Women are often so self-conscious about their appearance that if a man comments on how pretty they look, then clearly we must be up to something. We must want something if we are being complimentary. It is like we always have an ulterior motive.
Now, maybe, 90% of the time we do. But that ulterior motive is to, again, get up in them guts.
But it is so nightmarishly unfair. Men run around looking to find all the perfect gifts. If you don’t buy her diamonds on Valentine’s Day, you don’t love her. Didn’t bring her flowers, you don’t love her. “Why didn’t you buy me chocolates? Marie’s husband bought her chocolates! Is it because I’m fat?”
And so, to quote my last blog entry, men get punch drunk. So, riddle me this, ladies. What are you doing for your man this Valentine’s Day? Throw you legs up in the air and maybe, if he’s lucky, get all the way naked? You promise not to wear the flannel footie pajamas to bed that night?
Romance is a two way street and just giving it up without an argument is not really much of a gift. I say this not to chastise but to educate. Try to see things from our point of view once in a while. By the previous rationale, Romance is like having us start at our own two-yard line to begin the drive but when you get the ball, you get to start in the Red Zone.
It’s all too easy for you all. We gird our loins and charge once more into the breach. And all you have to do is say, “Come and get it” or in some cases “Well, let’s get this over with…”
Ladies, you have it pretty darn easy. Maybe you should do something different and go out of the way for him for once… Weaker sex, my ass.
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