Disclaimer: Everything I am about to tell you is TRUE.
Today, I went to my local Wal-Mart to pick up some pizza for the kids’ lunch, dinner for tonight, and a Monster for me. (It is my last guilty pleasure with my diet.) I am not a compulsive person by any means. I was there with a mission: food, pricing a new set of headphones & mic for my computer, and to price a new TV to replace the boys’ that went nuclear last night.
I was done shopping but for reasons that cannot be explained, I went down the aisle with the books and magazines “just to see.” Then, it caught my eye – this wonderfully, ridiculous template of utter insanity. When I first saw it, I said out loud, “What?” The title was four words that should never have justifiably been used together in… well, in all of modern history. I snatched it off the rack began devouring the dust jacket blurbs – scarcely able to contain my excitement of this incredibly off-the-wall concept.
And I immediately started laughing. I had to have this book. No matter what it took. So I called the Comptroller and got the disbursement of funds approved.
Book in hand, I laughed all the way to the check out stand. I talked up my purchase with the cashier – who did not seem to openly share my mirth in the book title. I laughed in the parking lot. I laughed all the way through Pryor. As I was driving, I was thinking to myself, “To whom can I call to tell this story of abject insanity? Who can I call that would appreciate this tale as much as me?”
Out of all my friends, I knew there was only one. There was only one perfect choice. He was the first on the list… So I scrolled to the end of my address book and pulled up “X-Ray Man Aaron.” This man is a black hole for books. I proceeded to tell him the story almost exactly the same as I have told it to you now. As I reached the conclusion of my tale and I prepared to unleash the title of this masterpiece, Aaron simply said, “Let me guess…”
I could not have anticipated this would be his response but, really, there could be no other conclusion to this tale. And then he said those four precious words:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
I gave a huzzah that rattled the windows in my car and we continued with the discussion. As it turns out, he is reading the exact same book right now. Now, just let that title sink in for a minute. Yep, the author has taken real moments from Lincoln’s history and has blended in elements of vampirism. This is his follow-up to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
Today, I went to my local Wal-Mart to pick up some pizza for the kids’ lunch, dinner for tonight, and a Monster for me. (It is my last guilty pleasure with my diet.) I am not a compulsive person by any means. I was there with a mission: food, pricing a new set of headphones & mic for my computer, and to price a new TV to replace the boys’ that went nuclear last night.
I was done shopping but for reasons that cannot be explained, I went down the aisle with the books and magazines “just to see.” Then, it caught my eye – this wonderfully, ridiculous template of utter insanity. When I first saw it, I said out loud, “What?” The title was four words that should never have justifiably been used together in… well, in all of modern history. I snatched it off the rack began devouring the dust jacket blurbs – scarcely able to contain my excitement of this incredibly off-the-wall concept.
And I immediately started laughing. I had to have this book. No matter what it took. So I called the Comptroller and got the disbursement of funds approved.
Book in hand, I laughed all the way to the check out stand. I talked up my purchase with the cashier – who did not seem to openly share my mirth in the book title. I laughed in the parking lot. I laughed all the way through Pryor. As I was driving, I was thinking to myself, “To whom can I call to tell this story of abject insanity? Who can I call that would appreciate this tale as much as me?”
Out of all my friends, I knew there was only one. There was only one perfect choice. He was the first on the list… So I scrolled to the end of my address book and pulled up “X-Ray Man Aaron.” This man is a black hole for books. I proceeded to tell him the story almost exactly the same as I have told it to you now. As I reached the conclusion of my tale and I prepared to unleash the title of this masterpiece, Aaron simply said, “Let me guess…”
I could not have anticipated this would be his response but, really, there could be no other conclusion to this tale. And then he said those four precious words:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.I gave a huzzah that rattled the windows in my car and we continued with the discussion. As it turns out, he is reading the exact same book right now. Now, just let that title sink in for a minute. Yep, the author has taken real moments from Lincoln’s history and has blended in elements of vampirism. This is his follow-up to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
I would type more but I have to start reading right now. Good bye, free time. Let’s start the insanity.
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