How Honest Abe & The Undead Made Me Look Like A Psycho in Wal-Mart…

Disclaimer: Everything I am about to tell you is TRUE.
Today, I went to my local Wal-Mart to pick up some pizza for the kids’ lunch, dinner for tonight, and a Monster for me. (It is my last guilty pleasure with my diet.) I am not a compulsive person by any means. I was there with a mission: food, pricing a new set of headphones & mic for my computer, and to price a new TV to replace the boys’ that went nuclear last night.
I was done shopping but for reasons that cannot be explained, I went down the aisle with the books and magazines “just to see.” Then, it caught my eye – this wonderfully, ridiculous template of utter insanity. When I first saw it, I said out loud, “What?” The title was four words that should never have justifiably been used together in… well, in all of modern history. I snatched it off the rack began devouring the dust jacket blurbs – scarcely able to contain my excitement of this incredibly off-the-wall concept.
And I immediately started laughing. I had to have this book. No matter what it took. So I called the Comptroller and got the disbursement of funds approved.
Book in hand, I laughed all the way to the check out stand. I talked up my purchase with the cashier – who did not seem to openly share my mirth in the book title. I laughed in the parking lot. I laughed all the way through Pryor. As I was driving, I was thinking to myself, “To whom can I call to tell this story of abject insanity? Who can I call that would appreciate this tale as much as me?”
Out of all my friends, I knew there was only one. There was only one perfect choice. He was the first on the list… So I scrolled to the end of my address book and pulled up “X-Ray Man Aaron.” This man is a black hole for books. I proceeded to tell him the story almost exactly the same as I have told it to you now. As I reached the conclusion of my tale and I prepared to unleash the title of this masterpiece, Aaron simply said, “Let me guess…”
I could not have anticipated this would be his response but, really, there could be no other conclusion to this tale. And then he said those four precious words:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
I gave a huzzah that rattled the windows in my car and we continued with the discussion. As it turns out, he is reading the exact same book right now. Now, just let that title sink in for a minute. Yep, the author has taken real moments from Lincoln’s history and has blended in elements of vampirism. This is his follow-up to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

I would type more but I have to start reading right now. Good bye, free time. Let’s start the insanity.

Cogs in the Machine

Man, it is strange how quickly things can change in the space of a month. My 9-to-5 Job has been tossed into a nightmarish upheaval that I have not really commented on here because I was waiting for the dust to kind of settle. For the uninitiated, I work in the produce department of a local grocery store. It’s glamorous, I know, and most of you are probably going to be sending me emails asking how I got so lucky. Still, it paid the bills while Amy was in school and it serves as an outlet for me now that she is working. Isolating into Hermitville is probably not best for me from a psychological standpoint.
So here it is in black and white. I’ve never pulled punches on here before so why stop here? (But names will be safeguarded to preserve reputations.) Shortly after Christmas, my boss decided to leave the company abruptly. 15 years of history wiped clean because of a deserved altercation between him and management. 15 years erased because of a crippling disease. Don’t drink, kids. It never ends up well. I still keep in contact with him and I hope he gets the help he needs. But if I were a betting man… Let’s move on.
So he is gone and my future was in jeopardy. But I have weathered the storm and slid through unscathed… like always. I’m like freaking Neo dodging bullets. But the hits just kept on coming.
A person that I considered one of my best friends has moved on to greener pastures as well. We did not work in the same department but it was someone that I would take breaks with and constantly joke around with. We’ve seen stripper boobs together and that gives you a certain unspoken bond. So like that, my friend – and I do consider him a true friend – is gone.
And here a few days ago, a second person from our department is prepping to leave. (That means that in the last two months we have lost 2/5th of our department.) And when you interchange that many people in small departments, the landscape changes dramatically.
Now, let’s add in the fact that the red tape of paperwork and the logistics of hiring someone often cripples our store. Which means it is probably time for me to step it up at work… again. “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” Why do things like this always happen when I am really in a groove and flowing with my writing?
Still, as John Donne once said, “No man is an island.” And it is amazing to me how one or two key changes can so dramatically affect the entire landscape of an organization.
Stop and look around every once in a while. How big a cog are you in your machine? Will people at your job miss you when you are gone? Will they celebrate? The most important thing in any person’s life is to feel necessary, to feel valued. Make people appreciate you tomorrow. Make them value your presence… because you never know when your last day might be.

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

--John Donne

New Year, New Decade, and I Am Determined to Improved…

Normally, this would the time that look back and reflect on the wonders and glory, the pits and the perils and the entire whole that was 2009. Normally… Unfortunately, 2009 was not exactly a stellar year for me. So I have decided not to rehash the old but instead embrace the new and the potential for hope that comes with a new year and a new decade.
So, I feel as if certain clarifications have to be made regarding my current status so you can see how I am forging ahead. And remember, kids, writing out your goals dramatically improves your chances for success.

First of all, New Year’s Resolutions. I have decided to quit smoking. I know millions of people make this resolution every year and fail. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things you can do! But I am determined this year to make it stick.
When I have told this to my friends, most of them look at me skeptically and say things like, “Ryan, you never smoked. You can’t—” But then I usually cut them off by screaming at them and then I run away, arms flailing, before their negativity can drag me down.

Time to Finally Go Part Time: The boss of my department (who worked there for the last 15 years) ended his employment at my 9-to-5 rather abruptly at the end of the year. I have explained several times how I hate my job but I love the people. With a major people part of that equation now removed, it is now time to start thinking about my star player (i.e. Me). Which means it is finally time to start treating that job as a true part time thing and focusing more attention on my writing with hopes of turning it into a true full time job.
Truth be told, this was going to have to happen anyway. Amy now has her job rolling and it will be my job to attend to the kids this summer when school is out. So this means I will have to go to my bosses and say, “I can only work on weekends and if you work me during the week when school is out, I have to be out by noon at the latest.” When asked why, I just have to say, “I don’t want to explain to DHS why I left my six-year-old alone for nine hours.”
With this drop in income, I have to find a way to supplement that income. And for some reason, putting this sweet caboose out on the street corner has just not been generating the income it has in the past. I cannot imagine why. According to ABC, desperate housewives are supposed to be everywhere. I guess it is the economy. We are in a recession after all.
So, my attainable goal is to produce 10 graphic novels in 2010. I just turned in Draft 1 of TPB (trade paperback) #1 today and asked for permission to begin scripting TPB #2. So I am well on my way to obtaining that goal. (I have also been researching Egyptian and Norse myths to keep the idea train rolling. Insert your own Mummy joke here.) My hopes are that in 2010, my writing checks will finally exceed my part-time job checks. Again, given events that have transpired, I see this as completely doable.

Priorities, Priorties: To make the above listed goal happen, I really need to start prioritizing my life better. Which means I need to get on a strict schedule. I saw how the house degenerated during the Christmas holiday with the kids home and trapped inside because of the snow. Walkin’ around in a Winter Wonderland, my sweet Aunt Petunia!
I will not have the house degenerate this year! With Amy working and bring home the lion’s share of the income, I feel as if the house is on my shoulders. Which means I need to get on a regiment that allows me to manage the house, take care of the cooking, let’s me research and write, and still allow me to have fun playing my games.
So how does one accomplish this? By writing out my goals and delegating! Yep, time to get the kids involved. With ages of 13, 11, and 6, it is time for them to help shouldering the load. I believe the added responsibility will help all of them mature and will help me keep my sanity.
I will still do all the hard stuff but I do not see any reason not to get by with a little help from my friends… which in this case is family.

So from here we move forward into this new decade. And the house isn’t going to get clean and stories aren’t going to be written by mean diddling away on this blog. Back to the grindstone. Laundry stains prepare to face the terrible goodness of spandexed justice. And comic evil-doers, prepare to meet the wrath of my fabric softener! Wait… I may need to organize my plan of attack better….

Star Wars: In Concert

I know this blog is a tad late. Bear with me. So, back in October (on Amy’s birthday), we took the boys to attend Star Wars: In Concert. You can read about it by clicking the link. I say that we took the boys but this was just as much for me as it was for them. Before you send any hate mail asking why we didn’t take Lauren, it is because she is six and can’t stand the noise of a elementary basketball game, much less a concert…
If you know me, then you know how passionate I am about original music scores. I listen to them all the time when I am writing because I find lyrics distracting. And, well, you don’t get much better than the music from Star Wars.
This was my first trip to the brand new BOK Center. Extremely impressive, by the way. They had props from the films that you could see and take your picture with. It was a really cool event.
So, we had fifth row seats. (Yes, we spent way too much money on tickets.) And I was just a few dozen feet away from Anthony Daniels who played C-3PO in the movies. He was the narrator of the event.
The music was everything I expected it to be. The show was flawless. There was a massive orchestra with a full choir. Laser lights. Pyrotechnics that blasted us out of the seats. Everything was really cool.
I think the biggest pops where when they did footage of Vader and Yoda. Han Solo and Princess Leia got pretty resounding cheers.
Anthony Daniels was very funny and a wonderful storyteller. They had a recorded message from James Earl Jones (the voice of Darth Vader) to introduce him. Did I mention it was really cool?
We got Daniels and the conductor to come back out three times because of the standing ovation… and we got an encore of the Imperial Theme.
Now, admittedly, I am a pretty big geek. I don’t think that is a secret. But to be married to a person that embraces my geekiness and will go to a Star Wars concert with me is pretty special. And to have two boys that like Star Wars as much as I do, well that is just taking them down the right path in life.
It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime event and I could not be happier to be a part of it….

Rage As A Fuel

Imagine if you will two different scenarios, both involving Knights and Dragons. In the first scenario, a brave and valiant knight is charging into the lair of a dragon to rescue his princess who has been kidnapped and is being held hostage. In the second scenario, imagine the same knight charging into to fight the same dragon. Except his princess has not been captured… she has been killed.
Ask yourself. Who would you rather fight?
I would chose the first knight any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Because depending on the love of the princess, that second knight has nothing to lose and may even welcome death. That makes them a more difficult opponent because they take greater risks to win. That second knight will be hungrier than the first. He will not stop. Nor will he yield, relent or… ahhhh, only two synonyms? I’m losing my perspicacity!
As an alternative scenario, take if you will Darth Vader. Vader is one of the best bad guys in history and people might associate him with evil because he is a bad guy. It is not true. Vader is not evil. Vader is rage. He is someone that has been completely consumed by his rage.
If you want a more chickified version of it, there is a scene in Double Jeopardy where Ashley Judd is out running in the a prison yard in the rain and her two cellies look at her and one says something along the lines of, “That girl is running on pure hate.”
I think three examples are probably enough. Anyway, my dad often tells me that harboring hate is bad for the soul. It is something that can destroy you. And I think for the most part, in most instances, this can be true. But remember the knight from the first scenario? Rage can also be a fuel. It can keep you motivated and push you to limits you never thought possible.
The only drawback I can think of is that once you reach your destination, I have to often wonder how you feel with all of your energy spent. Now I know all the members of the Foley Nation are wondering. Perhaps you have come here by way of a certain Facebook posting. And I know what you must be thinking to yourself that I am the last person that should be writing about being a fountain of rage.
Obviously there has to be some event that facilitated this Lewis Black style tirade.
I have jockeyed and maneuvered myself into the absolute best position with my current 9-to-5 job. I have cut back to a part-time position to help shoulder the load of the house and the kids and allow me more productivity with my writing. Amy’s new job basically guarantees that her job takes priority and she has been after me to quit entirely.
However, I love my boss and I love 95% of the people I work with. Most of these people are in my Facebook friends and I genuinely like them. I am afraid of the psychological effects that may happen to me if I retreat into writing full time. Since my weekend poker game has fallen apart, this pretty much guarantees that I begin having only email relationships with people and I become crazy hermit guy with a better than average chance that I begin to perceive World of Warcraft as a reality.
Nobody wants that.
So, I should be enjoying my part time job. I should be using it as an outlet to get me out of the house and into the real world where I can have real life conversations with real life people. It should be ideal.
But my job has changed. The company that I work for has changed. They seem to have become obsessed with rules and regulations and writing employees up for infractions instead of being the “best place to work” as they like to say in their slogans. And one guy in particular is the problem.
He is an upper level management that I absolutely cannot stand. I literally loathe his very presence. He is condescending. He walks around as if he is high and mighty and better than the lowly employees that actually make the company function. I have no illusions that a nutless monkey could do my job but companies need to realize that good employees are hard to come by. And given the cavalcade of all-stars that I have outlasted should be an indication of just how valuable a good employee is. Yet all these new rules and regulations and this freakin’ c**ksucker has me tempted to throw away a five year relationship.
Granted, I may only see this prick a few handful of times a year but it is just that this jerkstore is in a position of management… it makes me frustrated that this is the type of manager that I have to deal with. If he is the representative of the company, this is clearly not a company that I want to work for…
So, I am at a crossroads. I could give it all up and risk a loss of income (such as it is) and insanity due to isolationism or I could gut it out just keep my head down and power through while loathing this individual with every fiber of my being but only suffer him a few handful of times a year. And if I continue to suffer this d-bag, I risk letting rage consume my soul. Is it worth it? Should I just bail out and call it a career? Why suffer fools for a part time paycheck? I make more money writing comic books anyway and I have NEVER had a bad day when I get to write my books. I don’t need an alarm clock when it is comic book writing day.
I was furious today. I mean shaking with rage. So I went to my boss and quit. I was going to be a man. I was not going to walk out. I said I would give him my two weeks. And the worst part of it, Dave completely understood why I was quitting. I was quitting because the system had failed me and I refused to let it bring me down.
But then I thought about my friends I would be leaving and the relationships I would be losing… and I unrang the bell. I am going to gut it out through the weekend, take full stock of my future and decide where to go from here.
Maybe I should just crack open a beer at the prep area while talking on my cellphone and smoking a cigarette. Surely, they would have to fire me. Have them make the decision for me, right? And for those that truly know me, I want you to think about that last statement. I just mentioned a possibility of me smoking. So I must be between a rock and a hard place.
Time will tell. It sure would be easier if I just hated the people I worked with….

Past Events Influencing Our Future Choices

I often look at the aspect of nature and nurture and how it affects our lives. I am fairly certain that I have discussed this before in this blog how my mom was a smoker and my dad is a drinker, yet I am neither. Okay, the latter is because I have the bladder of a woman that is nine-months pregnant. I am not against drinking. It is just that my body cannot handle it anymore. Smoking is a completely different story.
My dad took jobs all his life that took him where the money was. New Jersey. California. Oklahoma. Indiana. North Carolina. And then back to Oklahoma. I often wonder if subconsciously I did not like moving around and this is why I have pretty much cemented myself in Oklahoma. I really like Oklahoma. It could just be that I really found my right area. However, long before I had kids and it was just me, people told me to move to La Jolla, California (home of Wildstorm) or Manhattan (home of Marvel Comics) to try to get a job with a comic company but being on-site an making face-to-face inquiries.
Thankfully, my career path is one interwoven with the Internet and I can email my comic scripts to my publishers. Which means I can live in the comparatively low cost of living state of Oklahoma and do more than just survive on meager comic book writer pay.
Still, debt has crippled my family. I have often said, “Imagine how far your paycheck would go if you didn’t owe anything to anyone.” Granted, that lifestyle is impossible to live. You are going to owe the water company and your cell phone bill. But sometimes life shoves you in directions that you don’t want and all you can do is hang on for dear life as you plunge down the rapids, knowing that tranquil streams are just past the whitewater.
Amy and I are plunging through the rapids right now. She is working nights for an agency and often I am leaving for my 9-to-5 when she is heading home from work. During the 4th of July holiday, it seemed like we only saw each other for an hour or two a day. I sleep when she is at work and vice versa. It takes a little getting used to.
But I have to stay focused on that end goal. That goal is to be out from underneath the credits cards and hopefully have my car paid off. If we can do that, then our only bill is Amy’s car payment. Now, suddenly, Amy is making more money than we ever have had and I am rolling along doing comic book scripts where I get paid infrequently but when I do get paid it is a fat check. And the ultimate kicker… we don’t owe anyone.
Yeah. Imagine. We are making the most money ever (for us) and we owe so little that we can actually start saving money. We can have a savings account! And we can start planning to build our first home.
It is important to have goals, kids. You have to set a goal. It gives you a finish line. It gives you something to look forward to and work towards. And when you reach that goal… it’s a pretty cool thing.

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

Some of you may recognize the quote in the title. It goes: “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.” Yes, it’s from The Godfather. Now before I begin, as with most of my statements, I need a little preamble. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. And I thank the powers above everyday that I do not understand the concept of addiction. What I have is not exactly an addiction because I do not go through physical withdraws or anything. But I am an action figure collector. That’s right. I collect action figures.
Now, I know I am opening up all sorts of problems by admitting this on a public forum like the Internet. For the thousands in attendance and millions reading at home, a shiver has gone through the crowd. All around the world, females are removing panties and other unmentionable unmentionables because nothing does it for the ladies like a balding overweight man that writes comic books. But a balding overweight man that writes comic books AND collects action figures? Yeah, I have to walk around in disguises. I can barely go to my local Wal-Mart any more. And if I do, I have to go at 3:00 in the morning…
My addiction goes back to the release of the Spawn action figure line, which I collected for several years. Budgetary cutbacks caused me to stop for a little while, then the Masters of the Universe line came out. When that line ended, I switched over to Marvel Legends and my marriage almost disseminated to divorce status. Still, my desk is totally bitchin’ with all my figures ranging from the Avengers’ Mansion to my Iron Man Armory to my Sinister Six Laboratory…
See I commit action figure sacrilege and taken them out of the cases. Then they are displayed around my desk in wicked awesome displays that are very cool to look at as I write my comic book scripts.
But we are in a recession after all. Prices are going up and the cost of oil skyrocketed. Well, action figures are made of plastic. Plastic is made from oil. I think you see the connection. So the company producing Marvel Legends basically cancelled the line and went to Marvel Universe – which are action figures on a 3¾” scale as opposed to the 6” figure… and I was not about to start over.
So, with a heavy heart, I called it quits. No more. The Marvel Legends collection was finished. Still tremendously impressive but finished. And I think my wife secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
But then the itch started. The craving set in. And… just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. Yeah. They make World of Warcraft action figures. DAMMIT! I keep thinking Amy is going to stop by the courthouse on her way home from work to file the divorce papers. Still, as far as addictions go, it is certainly not the most expensive in the world. I’d write more but I am working on this cool display for my Draenei paladin… Well and I have to reinforce the front door to keep out the relentless legions of ladies that all want to get a piece of this action. If I tell them that I’ve got my Paladin to Level 46 and I’m rocking the Vanquisher’s Sword with Fiery Weapon enchantment does it make it better or worse? They are in a frenzy right now. Probably should keep that a secret…

Living Outside Your Comfort Zone…

Several years ago, Amy and I came up with a plan. I would go back to work while she attended college to get a degree in Nursing. People are not going to quit getting sick and nurses are always in demand. Now, even further back, Amy went to work at the Tulsa County DA’s Office while I became a full time dad. So when she wanted to make the change, I had to go back to work. I was five years out of the employment business and my skills amounted to experience in the grocery industry and the video store industry – you know real titans of financial independence. But we figured we would live a little light, struggle for a little while, and come out better in the end. (There is a joke in there about coming better in the end but I am not going to make it. I am way too classy for that vulgar humor.) So I went back to work at the grocery store that gave me a job when I was 17.
So now, the day is here. Amy is working for a nursing agency. The pro to this is that she makes more than twice what I make an hour. The con is that shifts may be few and far between. If you are making $100 an hour, it doesn’t do any good if you only work half an hour a week. But, as I predicted long ago, Amy is doing well in her nursing.
Staff is requesting her help. “We want Amy to work over here!” At one point, an established pro could not believe that this was not only her first job but also only her second shift. So now, she is doing well. There is still that lingering fear that the agency is going to quit calling but after doing this for a few weeks, I think that fear is becoming unfounded…
So, I have cut back to part time work at the grocery store. We have Fourth of July coming up. For a grocery store on the lake, it is the busiest week of the year. So, here is the thing. I hate my job but I love the people I work with. I hate that I make nightmarish amounts of money for a company that pays me peanuts. My comic book assignments are what really make me happy. Yet, I fear letting go of this job, regardless of how crappy it is. Perhaps it is all this economic uncertainty looming around everyone like a specter of doom.
I have cut back to part time and there is an option after the holiday to possibly just cut back to two days a week. I may love the place if I am only there two days a week. So, in theory, I work at the 9-to-5 two days a week and write the other five days out of the week. That would not be too bad a situation. Get me out of the house, keep me active, let me have conversations with real adults… and yet, I despise the upper levels of management (the suits). The money is not fantastic. The insurance sucks. Maybe I should just quit all together… But I love my boss. Most of the co-workers are all pretty cool. I make some side money here and there. I wouldn’t have to go to Amy for cash to buy my action figures…Needless to say, it is a question that I am having difficulty answering and this is an aspect that has been consuming my life – which means it makes it into the blog. Anyone have any advice? I’ll keep you posted…

Flexing Your Muscles as an Artist… and I am RIPPED!

As mentioned in my last entry, my first book STOLEN HEARTS: THE LOVE OF EROS & PSYCHE has been published through Campfire, which opens the door for me to talk about what I have been doing behind the scenes for the last year or so.

You can find the book at the following link:
http://www.campfire.co.in/Books.aspx?catid=3

Here a while back, I got hooked in through a comic contact with a company that would eventually become known as Campfire. They are an outfit based out of India looking to break into the educational comic market.
In the first trial run with the company, I adapted a literary classic for them that is going to be published soon. It was a feeling out period for both of us. I was a relatively unknown writer with only a few credits to my name and they were a brand new company I knew nothing about. I am sure they were afraid that I was going to stink as a writer and I was uncertain if they were going to be a fly-by-night operation that might not pay me. (They are based in India and that makes legal recourse really difficult.)
So after that first book, I think the editors realized they had something special. I say this not to brag or anything but I have been screaming inside about taking the comic book industry by storm. Writing comics is what I am supposed to be doing and Campfire has provided me with the largest outlet to do that in my career so far.
And how did I know that they liked me? Because they came back saying, “What do you want to do next?” I kind of shrugged my shoulders and said, “Mythology?” I had always been fascinated with Greek mythology and thought that could be a fairly large avenue for me to conquer. So when they came back with the thumbs up, I suddenly had to scramble to start relearning everything.
Again, time schedules and artist work can be delayed for various reasons so strangely enough, STOLEN HEARTS is my third story for Campfire but it is the first one published. Don’t worry, it just means more stories are coming and my output is going to look insane.
When I first approached my editors about the story, I had just come off a real adrenaline-fueled, hack-and-slash warrior action story with sword fights and monsters. I remember several years ago, I met comic superstar artist Michael Turner at a comic book convention. (He died a while back. Huge loss. Rest well, brother.) I was a budding artist at the time. I remember how he talked about setting a scene for a book in a place with a lot of curtains and drapes because he couldn’t draw them. At the time, I thought, “Why would you intentionally draw something for publication that you can’t draw?” But I understand it now. He wanted to flex his muscles.
My writing for all my comic projects to this point had been action and swords and monsters and magic. Guy stuff. And when I went to go speak at Osage Elementary about writing comics and Greek mythology, girls outnumbered the boys.
Granted, comic books and video games are largely a male dominated field. I think as many girls read Harry Potter as boys. But one girl asked me if there were “girl comics” and that was when I knew that this story would work.
So I flexed my muscles. I wanted to grow as a writer (and as an artist). I wanted to grow as a storyteller. So I thought, why not do a romance? Luckily, Campfire was willing to take the plunge and the result is the book STOLEN HEARTS: THE LOVE OF EROS & PSYCHE… on bookshelves now! (I know it’s a cheap pop. Sue me, my last name is Foley.)
While I am nightmarishly out of shape physically, my storytelling muscles were blasted with cardio with this story and I think I came out quite well. It is a definite departure from the norm for me but I feel it is a wonderful story.
The company did a whole one-page blurb for me in the “About the Author” section. (Personally, I think they should have split the info between the artist and me because we are a team.) But in that section, they mention the forthcoming books for Heracles, Perseus and Theseus. Which pretty much means the cat is out of the bag for those titles. Hopefully I will learn more soon about their release dates.
STOLEN HEARTS is a story that I am tremendously proud of. It is not “my” story. It is a tale over 3000 years old but I feel like I have put my own unique spin on the tale. Nothing was changed from the story. There are no time-traveling cyborgs or lightsabers in it and He-Man doesn’t make an appearance… although that would have been AWESOME! But I feel that the way I have presented the story is very unique. As strange as it sounds, this one is for all the fourteen-year-old girls out there but I certainly hope that everyone enjoys it and comes back for more.
All value-degrading autographs on the book are always complimentary.

Coming Back to Reclaim the Throne of Internet Geek King

Fooos. Fooosh. That sound you hear is me blowing the dust off my blog. I know. It is has been a little while and all my fans (both of you) are probably wondering what has become of their master of all things geektastic. Admittedly, I have been away far too long. The MySpace page has suffered from even worse lack of attention. Let me break down the most important (and time consuming) events that have kept me away.

SCRIPT COMPLETED! My editors commissioned me for the largest script so far with a whopping total of 150-pages. Your average comic book is 22 pages, so this is almost like doing a seven-issue mini-series. (Technically it would be a 6.81 issue mini-series but who is counting? I know, me.) Also, keep in mind that at this time, I was also working full time and trying to survive the Memorial Day holiday at work. (This is the second busiest holiday of the year.)

BOOK PUBLISHED! Because of the nature of the beast, I complete written scripts much faster than an artist can draw one. I say this not to brag because I am just the monkey sitting at the keyboard. The artists are the ones with the real talent. What they have to do is hard work. So, it takes a bit longer for the art and coloring and lettering and such to come along. However, Campfire has officially released my first book called Stolen Hearts. Don’t worry; a momentous event like this is going to get its own entry…

MY LITTLE PRETTY NURSE: Back in May, Amy completed her school and passed the certification exam to gain her LPN license. She is currently searching for a job. She has done a few shifts for agencies but the work is not steady enough yet. Granted, she pulled a double shift yesterday (from 10 p.m. to 2 p.m.) and made more money that I make in a 5-day workweek at my 9-to-5. But if you only get one shift a week, it makes paying the bills tough. So she has interviews with two places for slightly less money but steady work with an actual schedule. And this bonus money has set us up to completely pay off one credit card.

“I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER”: All these factors come together to create one big plan. Allow me to explain. I make considerably more money writing comics than I do working at my 9-to-5 but the money was unreliable. Car companies don’t really like hearing, “Hey, I’ll pay you when I get paid.” They would rather have their money on the set pay date.
But once Amy starts getting her weekly paycheck, the plan is for me to quit my 9-to-5 (or possibly scale back to a minimal part time – two days a week at the most) and begin writing comics full time. Amy uses her paycheck to pay the bills and I use my income for massive projects like paying off credit cards and maybe the cars if there is enough work throughout the year.
Then, once we go debt free, we start saving to build a house. And the plan is to live as we have been living – modestly – and save up to put down a massive down payment. Suddenly, that plan seems within grasp…

Finding Your Place in the World

I have been working with a few comic book companies over the last few years trying to establish myself within the industry. The goal is to turn my writing into a full time profession. And I am very close to accomplishing that goal. Amy has now officially completed her schooling at the NTC Center in Pryor. All that remains now is for her to pass the certification exam which she will take on the 28th. She took a predictor where she placed 83% in the nation and has a 98% chance of passing the exam. So I am pretty stoked. I think I can actually see the end of the tunnel now.
I am planning on cutting back my hours at work so that I can still maintain my full time status (and keep my crappy insurance) but dedicate more time to writing. As of right now, I am on deadline for my next project and I have been dedicating most of my time to that project. Of course, because of my Nondisclosure Agreement, I cannot talk about the specifics of the project.
In a completely unrelated subject, for no reason whatsoever, I found this pretty cool website called Campfire. You can check it out by clicking the link.
Back to my original course with this entry, as of right now, I am working towards a self-imposed deadline. Every day that I work on this project, I may get frustrated or fatigued but I am never unhappy or tired… if that makes sense. I have found that the brain is like a sponge and you can only wring so much creativity out of it at a time. But I have been pacing myself properly to prevent the “brain puddining.” [Regular visitors of the blog know about this effect.] And while at times, my job writing is difficult I am never dissatisfied.
And that is the key, people. You’ve got to find something that you love. I get so tremendously jazzed when I come up with cool fight sequences, funny gags, and heart wrenching moments. This is just what I am destined to do.
So I am clawing my way through a pretty intense book and I am fighting with my deadline and keeping on task while working at the 9-to-5. It’s rough but the end goal is what I am focused on. Well that and getting those mother-!@#$ !@#$ $%^^* piece of !@#% credit cards paid off.
So if it seems like my blog has not been updating at a tremendous rate, it is because I am working on my deadline and working behind the scenes. But I am still here, Foley Nation. I promise.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…

I know I have been away. But typically, there are two reasons for a delay of almost a month per blog update. 1) Not a whole lot is going on worth reporting or 2) too much stuff is going on. Thankfully, this time around, it is the latter.
I have been very busy with comic book work that has delayed me from regular updates. Still, that is a pretty good thing, especially that I am about to work on one of the biggest profile projects of my very early and burgeoning writing career. Damn my Nondisclosure Agreements or I would be screaming from the mountaintops… if we actually had mountains in Northeaster Oklahoma.
Some good news. When you are surrounded by crap, sometimes you just don’t realize how crappy the stuff you have is… until you get new stuff. Thanks to some financial wrangling, I was able to purchase new furniture for the living room and a new computer for myself. And I didn’t realize how bad my old stuff was until I started working and relaxing with the new stuff. Huge world of difference. The air is sweeter. Food tastes better. It is a great feeling all the way around.
More good news. The finish line for Amy’s schooling is now officially in sight. I honestly cannot see any reason why she will not be taking her final exam for certification in March or the first week in April at the very latest. After this week, she moves into her preceptorship (think of it like super-clinicals), where she has to complete either eight 12-hour days or 12 8-hours days. Once these are done, it is exit exam, certification exam, and then off to find a job in the medical market. Thankfully, regardless of the state of the economy, people are not going to quit getting sick.
She is planning on doing the bridge program from LPN to RN at RSU ASAP (could I fit in more random letters into that statement?). Even if Amy works the weekend (say Friday, Saturday, Sunday), she would make more money than I would if I worked my five days. So she can work and go to school.
So what does this do for RMF Enterprises? If Amy can get a steady paycheck coming in each week, I no longer have to struggle to make ends meet with my current 9-to-5 job. I switch to a part time position (say two days a week) and begin dedicating 5 days a week to writing, which is where I am really happy. So this is the reason for the lack of updates. A lot of stuff going on behind the scenes which, hopefully, I will be able to talk about very soon…

Merry Christmas to Everyone!

I’m taking some time out of my day off to send along my annual holiday wishes to friends, co-workers and family so the time doesn’t slip away. I hope everyone has had a great year. We here at the Foley household are doing quite well and I figure now is the best time to get everyone caught up this year.
It seems like over the last few years, Amy and I have been focusing on our plan. We have been planning for our future. Well, finally, all those plans are paying off and we are focusing more on the future rather than the plan for the future. We are both making huge strides in our perspective careers. While 2008 was a bit of a struggle at times, I truly feel that 2009 is shaping up to be one of our best years to date.
Looking back on 2008, I think that I have officially slogged my way through my last year at my 9-to-5 job at Reasor’s. I love the people that I work with but the job itself is less than satisfying and, with each passing day, I find myself longing for my true path. It is steady, reliable work and I am guaranteed my paycheck every two weeks… but it is just not what I am destined to do.
My light at the end of the tunnel is Amy’s nursing school. She continues to dominate at school, making excellent grades and establishing lots of network contacts with her clinicals. And let’s face it. Gaining a job as a LPN is not going to be difficult. Amy has levels of compassion that I am not capable of and while she is still early in her planning, she wants to become a SANE nurse – that stands for Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. I want you to think about the type of person that particular profession would take. Imagine a woman that has experience possibly the most traumatic experience of her life and Amy wants to be that kind and helpful hand of reassurance that says, “I’m going to help you through this and my what I am going to do for you will convict the man that did this to you.” That takes a special person. And I write stories involving muscle men in capes and spandex… Wow.
So she is on the downhill slope with her schooling. When this happens (I am going to say in April), I will either quit or cut back to two days a week at Reasor’s and focus on writing full time – which I will be able to do with her having the steady paycheck.
This dovetails me into my next segment. I believe that I have turned a major corner with my comic book career. Having hooked up with Campfire Comics and continuing to work with past companies like Arcana Studios and a surprise job from MVCreations this past year, I am continuing to write funny books for a living. I had the Penance: Trial of the Century comic released in stores this year. I am not certain on the sales but Internet buzz was really good for the story. I also had a script I was involved with released on a DVD that was sold at Wal-Mart. I remember walking through the store and seeing it on the shelves, saying, “My comic is on that DVD.” That is pretty frickin’ cool. And I could not be happier.
I think it is rare for people to find their true calling and it is even rarer to be able to make a living at it. So typing away doing stories, either costumed superheroes, sword-and-sorcery fantasy, adapting classic fiction, or presenting a modern retelling of ancient myths, this is the path that has chosen me and I could not be happier to walk it.
Despite being pressured by working a forty-hour workweek and trying to get my pages done while working, when I am writing, I am at my happiest. So if I drop off the grid every once in a while and if you don’t hear from me, it is probably because I am hip deep in a script. I cannot wait to tell everyone about the projects I have forthcoming.
The kids are all doing very well at Osage. I am happy to have everyone at the same school to save on gas prices. Alex (now 12-years-old) played basketball again this year and is continuing to excel at his drawing. I think we are going to post some of his work on eBay just to see if anything might happen. (Even if it sells for a dollar, he is officially paid as an artist!)
As he gets older Jason (10-years-old) becomes more and more like me everyday. (God help him.) He has struggled a bit this year with his anxiety attacks but we are using a double-headed attack to help him cope with this. What frustrates me the most is that he is ten. No kid his age should have anxiety.
Lauren (5-years-old) wakes up genuinely excited for school. When the kids were out of school with the ice storm, she was extremely disappointed. I tell her to hug her brothers hoping her exuberance will rub off on them. She has become quite girly overnight and is concerned with her hair and dressing up like a princess. She certainly thinks that she runs the household.
So that is the official report from the desk of Ryan. We have a good family life. I would be lying if I said I could be happier. We don’t have any problems a lottery win wouldn’t cure. Career-wise, I am on my way. Amy is right behind me. The kids are good. No serious health problems. The bills are paid. We aren’t starving and we have heat in the winter and cool in the summer. Only my nightmarish addiction to Marvel Legends Action Figures continue to torment the family causing an inevitable divorce or a massive sale on eBay about ten minutes after I am buried in the ground. But if that is the worst of the problems, we are doing pretty good.
My only real complaint is that this year has seen my relationships stretched with my friends because of distance and time. Life pulls everyone in different directions. It is an unfortunate side effect of life and career… but hopefully letters like this help me maintain my contact.
My mom used to say that Christmas loses its magic a little bit every year until you have children. And then when you have kids, it all comes rushing back. There are all sorts of presents under the tree. Amy is baking, filling the house with great smells. We watch movies like Elf, Fred Claus, The Grinch, Jingle All the Way, and Home Alone. The kids are bursting at the seams with excitement. Man, it is just a great time. There’s a lot of positive energy flowing around in the house and my biggest struggle is denying the kids the chance to open the presents early. I hope that you and your family are just as good and happy. Have a great holiday. Embrace the spirit of this wonderful season. And my ultimate wish for everyone getting this little note is the same as always:

May the best of your past be the worst of your future…

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Birthdays, Weather, and Other Such Things…

I’ve been out of touch for a few days and there are a few things to catch my fellow bloggers up on.

The Birthday: On the 10th, I celebrated my 34th birthday. “Celebrated” is kind of a loosely used word. Because of a minor bout of food poisoning, I spent most of the morning on the couch under a mound of blankets and the second half… Well, you don’t have to stretch your imagination too far. And given how last year we were hit with a major ice storm that knocked out the power for a week, I’m on a real birthday cold streak.
And I have found that when dealing with birthdays and that second number eclipses the first, you tend to look back and wonder where the years have gone. But I’m not laboring or lamenting about it.

A Really Slow News Day: So clearly NewsOK.com (an offshoot of The Oklahoman) is experiencing a pretty slow news day on the 12th because of the article that was posted on the web and was available in that day's printed issue.
It was an article all about some no-talent hack that has bribed his way into the comic industry by blackmailing publishers with compromising pictures and committing nightmarish amounts of extortion and plagiarism.
Check it out... Click Here

Weather: I know. When you have resorted to talking about the weather, the party is pretty much over. But seriously, you guys. American humorist Will Rogers (who’s home town in about twenty-five miles from me) coined the phrase, “If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait five minutes and it will change.” On Sunday the 14th, we saw a record high of 75 degrees and then in the space of a few hours we were hit by sleet and freezing rain that left the roads hazardous to travel. The next day we saw highs that didn’t get out of the teens.
So the ice storm, if you can really call it that, has left the kids out of school for the last three days and Amy struggling with cabin fever. I can deal with staying in the house for days at a time but Amy can’t take it. And as one of my favorite novels once said, “The only thing worse than caging a kender, is being in a cage with a kender.”
Kind of the same deal. Thank goodness the schools opened back up and Amy was able to get out of the house.

More information coming soon. Keep in touch. Only one week to Christmas!

Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason. –Tom Dobbs, Man of the Year

Many people have said that this election might be one of the most important of my generation. I cast my vote back on Saturday to avoid the crowds and the long lines. Whether the candidate I voted for wins or not, whoever is elected President of these great United States, I hope that that person can bring about real change.
I hope they can get past all the partisan politics crap that slows down true progress.
I hope that they will keep their campaign promises.
I hope that they leave the country better than they found it.
I hope they institute the Pickens Plan.
I hope they can fix the economy.
I hope they can look forward.
I hope they bring real change. I hope. I hope…

Rattling the Pillars of Academia… Again.

So on October 30th, I had the pleasure of being a “special guest” and giving two lectures. The last time around, when was first able to add lecturer to my resume, I discussed comic books as a form of literature to a small group of a dozen ladies all wanting to be librarians. This was an older crowd – older but not old. They were pretty close to my age when it came to my demographic. This time around was slightly different…
This time around I spoke at Osage Elementary School. I was speaking to a class room full of six graders discussing Greek mythology and my second lecture had to be moved to the cafeteria to accommodate all the fifth and sixth graders to discuss comic books as literature. I think I was more nervous regarding speaking in front of the kids. I kept telling myself, “Don’t drop any F-Bombs. No F-Bombs.” I am kidding. Actually this was a pretty cool experience.
I discussed how super hero comic books are the modern mythology of our era. When I asked “Who can tell me how Spider-Man got his powers?” everyone raised their hands. I compared the characters of Achilles and Wolverine and Hermes and the Flash.
There were lots of questions asked and everyone was well behaved. I think at that age it is a tremendous sign of interest. When one of the kids asked me what my favorite comic book was I tried not to geek out. Instead, I was fairly reserved and said, “The Avengers,” which caused a ripple through the audience.
I tried to relate by using Harry Potter and Star Wars references, which I got good responses. I made sure to wear an Iron Man shirt to show the kids I was cool and not some stuffy college type guy that would talk down to them or talk at them but instead a regular guy that would talk to them. Afterwards, I got high fives from kids. One person wanted my autograph. I was told I was awesome. Coming from a sixth grader, I guess that is a pretty cool thing to be thought of as cool.

It was a lot of fun and hopefully they will ask me back to talk next year. Of course, by that time, I will hopefully have more books out there so I can say, “Go to this website and you can buy the following books…” I’ll have to do a flyer/handout for them with the website address. Yes, shamelessly shilling and whoring out my work for sales! Mwwhahahaha! I’ve become a real writer!!! Watch you butt, Dan Brown! I’m coming for you!

Surviving the Holiday

The grocery store where I work is definitely a seasonal location. Grand Lake has become the destination spot for the majority of the rich “south side” of Tulsa. It is a bit of a status symbol to say, “We have a house on Grand Lake.” So there are three major dates for the calendar. Fourth of July is the biggest, followed by Memorial Day and the closer is Labor Day. Thank goodness, Labor Day is now past us.
With Tulsa schools back in session, I am hoping that things will get back to a normal and more reasonable level. This means that I can spend less time exhausted after an eight hour shift and focus more of my energies towards my comic book career. I have discovered that I am truly happy when I am writing. That is the profession that I was created for and while it is a sometimes daunting and difficult task, I truly enjoy it. I really do.
After writing fight choreography for Greek warriors or plotting the monstrous abilities of the next undead horror for my next assignment, shucking onions and stocking potatoes just don’t seem to have the same effect on me.
Still, I love a lot of the people that I work with. There are all kinds of jokes and laughter and camaraderie. I’ve discovered that I am not there for the work. I’m there for the paycheck and the friendships. And after weekends like this one, I swear I see some of these people more than I see my own family.
But now, with the hustle and bustle of the summer season slowly winding down, good things are on the horizon. The weather is cooling off. (I don’t have to run the AC all day!) Television shows are getting ready to start airing new shows (PRISON BREAK STARTS TONIGHT!!!). Football season is right around the corner. (The Giants are defending their world championship title!) The kids are back in school. (My food bill should drop dramatically!) And I can turn my attention back to writing more, which helps my income level and makes me substantially happier. This in turn makes me a better husband, a better father, and a better friend. Thank goodness things are getting back to normal!

Surviving the Fourth of July

Anyone who thinks that the United States is in a recession clearly has never been to Grand Lake during the Fourth of July.
While my wife is working towards her nursing degree, I am working at a grocery store in Langley, Oklahoma to pay the bills. Langley is considered to be the gateway to Grand Lake which over the last few years has become the “it” spot for all the Tulsa people. (By turnpike, Tulsa is about one hour from Grand Lake.) It is quite the status symbol for the Tulsies to say, “Oh, we went to the lake this weekend. We have a house on Grand Lake.”
During this week, we do as much business as a Tulsa location but we do it with less than half the square footage and about one-third of the employees. While I don’t know the numbers, I know our dollar-to-man-hour ratio has to be the best in the company. Yeah, if any piddly-ass Reasor employee outside of Langley #6 has stumbled into this blog, you can suck it. Nobody works like a Langley Employee ‘cause in Langley the work don’t stop. But with so few employees, it means six-day workweeks and if my calculations are correct (and I like to think that they are), I’ll be pulling down about 56 hours of work this week that consists of nothing but butt holes and elbows. (Enjoy that imagery.) It is all go, no quit until the people head back to Tulsa on Sunday evening.
Let me tell you, it is a huge incentive to write comic books full time. I find myself taking less and less pride in my work. I am using the company for the paycheck the same way they treat me as just a nametag. I know I am less than a year away from being able to quit. And I made it through this weekend by thinking, “This is the last 4th that you HAVE to work.” I can continue to work after Amy gets a nursing job but instead I will choose to make the transfer to full time comic book author. Maybe I work one shift a week to give me some walking around money. Time will tell.
My attitude might be different if I was seeing a percentage of profit in my paycheck but, quite frankly, I get paid the same if we are crazy mad busy or if we have two customers all day. Its kind of one of those scenarios where they pay me a minimal wage so I give them a minimal effort.
Still, a Ryan Foley minimal effort is still better than 90% of employees working at the location. But I look around and I hear about all these record sales and record numbers… But I’m not seeing record wages or record number of employees.
Check this out: We found an old sale flyer dating around 1987. They had yellow onions priced at seven pounds for ninety-nine cents. In today’s marketplace, you can get a little more than a pound of onions for ninety-nine cents.
When I first started driving, around 1990, I drove a piece-o’-crap diesel Isuzu pick-up that was called a P’up for short. We called it “The Poop.” I could remember filling up and being pissed when I had to pay more than a dollar a gallon for diesel. I seem to recall starting out and diesel was around eighty-eight cents. Have you priced diesel lately? Here in Adair (one of the cheapest areas in the nation) diesel is around $4.50 a gallon.
So look at that. In twenty years, onions have increased seven fold. In eighteen years, even figuring conservatively, gas has increased over four fold. When I first started working at Reasor’s as a “Courtesy Clerk” back around 1991, minimum wage was $4.25 per hour. I was special. I made a whopping $4.30 an hour. Yeah, buddy! Big bucks. To maintain a relatively equal ration with the cost of inflation and such, based just off the increase of gas, minimum wage should be at a minimum of $17.00 an hour.
I don’t even make that with overtime. I don’t even think the head of my department makes that kind of money. And that can be frustrating.
I heard a stat lately that 90% of the wealth in this country is controlled by 10% of the population. And this weekend, I made the company all kinds of money… but I won’t see a bonus nickel in my paycheck. The big bonus was a few free cans of pop, which I don’t even drink since I gave up soft drinks.
I’m telling you, kids. Become financially independent if you can. Don’t be beholden to someone else for a paycheck. I know that is a difficult task to achieve. So if you can’t do that, work at something that you love. Love what you do and you will never work a day in your life.
I dread having to go to work everyday for a measly paycheck but I never get tired of writing comic books. And in 2009, if things hold true to form, I will make more money working in my “part time” comic book job than I do at my full time grocery job. How sweet is that?
And once Amy has a steady income, then everything becomes gravy… Do something you love everybody. That’s the sweetest experience in the world. Go thou and do likewise.

A Decade +1 of Wedded Bliss

Yesterday, Amy and I celebrated our eleventh year together as husband and wife. Which means eleven years ago, today, I was walking around Disney World in Florida. Admittedly, Amy and I don’t do a whole lot of celebrating. I think half of that stems from a monetary standpoint but we certainly did acknowledge the special date… if ya know what I’m saying!
But when I look at Amy, it certainly doesn’t seem like eleven years has passed. I look back and I certainly don’t feel old. It seems like High School wasn’t that long ago. I guess the time just tends to creep up on you.
Regardless, I could not have asked for a more supportive wife. Seems like marriages all around me are dropping like flies. Or when I see couples and all their excessive problems, it makes me cringe.
And then I thank God that we aren’t one of them.
Eleven years has passed like the twinkling of an eye and I am looking forward to countless more…

Rattling the Pillars of Academia

The magical man that is RMF wears many hats. Comic book writer. Produce Clerk. Husband. Father. Turnip Farmer. Love Machine. But now I get to add a new title to the resume.
College Lecturer.
On Monday the 14th, I was invited to the NSU (Northeastern State University) campus in Broken Arrow to lecture on graphic novels.
I know that sounds pretty impressive, like I am so locally famous that the teacher and students knew my work and sought me out. In truth, my sister-in-law was taking the college literature class. When they came to the section on graphic novels, she piped up saying, “My brother-in-law writes graphic novels.” The teacher asked if I would be interested in coming and speaking. So I said yes and the rest will be etched on the marble of academia for future generations to contemplate.
All and all, it was a good lecture. My editor/brother-in-law attended the lecture as well. He gave me an honest opinion about the feedback and the Q&A period of the lecture. All those in attendance (all eight of them) seemed to be interested and attentive, asking many questions that fed the lecture.
Ironically, I did not really prepare any formal notes. It was more of a shoot from the hip lecture that was fueled by answering questions that were pertinent to their education. Which meant I spent a considerable amount of time talking about the complexities and the relevance of comics in the main stream—even though heroes run around in yellow spandex.
Afterwards, students and the teacher came up to say how impressed they were and how I shed knowledge on the process… Which means they didn’t figure out that I am some no-talent hack that has lucked his way into a position in comic books. My fraud continues to go undetected!
[You can’t see it right now by I am tenting my fingers and laughing maniacally.]
But the ultimate sign that they enjoyed my lecturing is that they are planning on inviting me back in the summertime. Which means, I am not just a lecturer. I will have given a series of college lectures. If I’m not careful, I’m going to have to get a date book to pencil people into my schedule.
To celebrate this momentous occasion where I spoke at a Masters Degree-level college course, Brandon took me to Wal-Mart to hunt for Iron Man action figures.

Yes, there could be no bigger dichotomy between cool guy and geeky dork that the soul that beats within the chest of Ryan Foley. Look at me and tremble…