Keys To A Happy Life And A Romantic Relationship… From A Comic Geek.

Yesterday, Amy and I celebrated our twelfth anniversary. A dozen years is a pretty big accomplishment in my book. I wish I could say that I showered her with lavish gifts but I can only summon so much romantic ideas in a single given time period and I pretty much expended all my romantic creativity on Valentine’s Day this year.
Of course, you already know this because you read every blog entry meticulously, right? If not, where have you been?
I know it is cliché to talk about things like this but I honestly feel like I love Amy more today than I did when we were first married. I tend to talk about love and relationships a lot on this blog. Maybe more than I anticipated. But it is a pretty big part of my life. Regardless, I am by no means a relationship expert. I do not want to be one. I do not profess to be one. Still, with twelve years behind us, happy after all these years, and raising three wonderful kids in a healthy environment… I would have to say that we are doing something right.
So for all those out there looking for love (clearly a comic geek/action figure collector’s blog is the first place to come), please take this two cents worth of advice. And really this can apply to all relationships.
COMMUNICATE!
I always say that 90% of all problems come from either miscommunication or a lack of communication. Just simply talking it out can solve so many problems. Explain your point of view. Most of the time, you can find common ground. Or if opinions cannot be changed, at least the other person understands your point of view.
Now, note I said 90%. I can talk with some people until I am blue in the face and I am not going to bring them around to my POV. (In the comic script world, POV is shorthand for “Point of View”.)
My father-in-law is not going to like Barack Obama. My sister is not going to support homosexuality. And you are not going to convince me that the prequel episodes of Star Wars “suck compared to the first movies.” It is just not going to happen. On this, pick your battles and move on. There is never sense in fighting a pointless fight – unless you are part of the brave 300 and, in that case, fight on, my brothers. Fight on.
And if you think that military analogy is too far fetched, look around. Ask people. Marriage is a WAR. And it is important that you are both fighting on the same side. Because life is hard enough to fight alone. Life is a tough enough opponent on its own and you don’t want to fight a war on two fronts by having to fight with life and your spouse. You need a teammate by your side.
And as you fight together as a team, suddenly you find yourself fighting a little harder. I push myself to get more comic book pages done, to clean the house, to do the dishes (even when I don’t want to) to make sure that she is happy. I do it because I don’t want to let her down.
And that’s how I know I have found my true love. It is because I care more about her happiness than I do my own. That is not saying that I am forsaking my own happiness. As Katt Williams once said, “You have to look out for your star mother-!@#ing player.” And that star player is the person you see in the mirror. It has to be a two way street.
There are times where she lets me have my happiness over her own. I know she doesn’t want my living room desk covered in action figures. I know she doesn’t want me to build a shrine to Lara Croft (to be covered on my next blog entry). But she knows that it makes me happy.
So a recap from a person coming from twelve years of wedded bliss. Talk. Communicate with one another. Put their needs ahead of your own but not forsaking yourself in the process. If you can do that, trust me, true love will emerge.
And letting him touch your naughty parts a little more frequently helps too. Word to ya mutha. (C’mon, I was getting a little too philosophical there. I can’t be all gushy and Dr. Phil here…)

Finding Your Place in the World

I have been working with a few comic book companies over the last few years trying to establish myself within the industry. The goal is to turn my writing into a full time profession. And I am very close to accomplishing that goal. Amy has now officially completed her schooling at the NTC Center in Pryor. All that remains now is for her to pass the certification exam which she will take on the 28th. She took a predictor where she placed 83% in the nation and has a 98% chance of passing the exam. So I am pretty stoked. I think I can actually see the end of the tunnel now.
I am planning on cutting back my hours at work so that I can still maintain my full time status (and keep my crappy insurance) but dedicate more time to writing. As of right now, I am on deadline for my next project and I have been dedicating most of my time to that project. Of course, because of my Nondisclosure Agreement, I cannot talk about the specifics of the project.
In a completely unrelated subject, for no reason whatsoever, I found this pretty cool website called Campfire. You can check it out by clicking the link.
Back to my original course with this entry, as of right now, I am working towards a self-imposed deadline. Every day that I work on this project, I may get frustrated or fatigued but I am never unhappy or tired… if that makes sense. I have found that the brain is like a sponge and you can only wring so much creativity out of it at a time. But I have been pacing myself properly to prevent the “brain puddining.” [Regular visitors of the blog know about this effect.] And while at times, my job writing is difficult I am never dissatisfied.
And that is the key, people. You’ve got to find something that you love. I get so tremendously jazzed when I come up with cool fight sequences, funny gags, and heart wrenching moments. This is just what I am destined to do.
So I am clawing my way through a pretty intense book and I am fighting with my deadline and keeping on task while working at the 9-to-5. It’s rough but the end goal is what I am focused on. Well that and getting those mother-!@#$ !@#$ $%^^* piece of !@#% credit cards paid off.
So if it seems like my blog has not been updating at a tremendous rate, it is because I am working on my deadline and working behind the scenes. But I am still here, Foley Nation. I promise.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to Ye!

These things, I warmly wish for you:

Someone to love,

Some work to do,

A bit of o’ sun

A bit o’ cheer

And a guardian angel

Always near.

_____________________________________________________________

Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,

the saving grace to see a joke,

To win some happiness from life,

And pass it on to other folks.

Role Reversals and Full Time Fathers

This morning, ABC’s Good Morning America ran a news piece about women becoming breadwinners after the economic nosedive has seen so many men laid off from their jobs. You can read about the news piece here.
In the interview, the woman said of her husband, AND I QUOTE: "It's the respect. I wish I could say something different, but I've lost so much respect for him. And I think the dynamics with a man and a woman is a woman has to respect her husband. And if she doesn't, that relationship just goes away."
I know that this blog is self-rated rated PG-13, so let me think of an appropriate and family-friendly response…
Fuck You.
Now, allow me to properly represent my anger through my side of the story. Several years ago, my wife and I were both working our little crappy jobs and we had a nice arrangement. She was working for the family business (which allowed us to avoid the high cost of daycare) and I was running a video store in Claremore. No sugar coating here (since we are all friends) but we were making peanuts. So with both of us working, she was taking care of the kids, while I took care of the majority of the housework.
Within the same week, we both became fed up with our jobs and turned to each other simultaneously and said, “I want to quit my job.” So, working as a team, we decided to switch it up. She found a new job at the Tulsa DA’s office making more money than we were both making combined. So she worked full time and I took over the house and the kids. As she was making all the money, my mindset was that she should not have to do anything around the house. It took me about a month but I began to found my system and then I took it all over. Kitchen, cleaning, cooking, laundry, chauffer for the kids back and forth to school. I did it all. And will freely admit, my role was infinitely harder. INFINITELY.
Before I was just taking care of the house and working. Suddenly, I found myself struggling with a much more difficult task of taking care of the kids and taking care of the house. With this new “job” that I had, there were no days off. Your role is often overlooked. Not by your spouse (although sometimes) but by people in general. They do not see your day-to-day chores as work because there is no paycheck involved. You are alone for a significant amount of your day.
Point blank, this is a very tough job to do.
The woman in the news piece is looking at the situation in the completely wrong context. They appeared to live in a very nice home. And while he was unfortunately muscled into his position, this guy is willing to shoulder that responsibility. And they showed him surfing on Career Builder.com, so he is doing all this while he is searching for a new job.
She should consider herself lucky and she should appreciate him, several times over. This woman better be a sexual dynamo in the sack to degrade her husband so much. Maybe she would prefer to go back to the 1950s where a woman was expected to be subservient.
If this is the biggest problem in their life, I would love to trade positions with them. Clearly, they just need a fresh perspective…

Happy Steak & BJ Day and Moving Ahead (Giggity) with Projects

See what I did? See what I did in the title there. Using the word “ahead” to tie the two headlines together? Look I did it again with “headlines.” Man, I am clever.
So I am on here today, March 14th to wish everyone a Happy Steak & BJ Day. This is the male twin holiday counterpart to Valentine’s Day. If you need to know more, click here. It's not an official holiday yet but dammit it could be!
Also, I am happy to announce that I am back on the horse regarding my latest comic book project. I am dedicating myself to three pages a day and taking Sundays off to give me a slight reprieve. If figure that working a full schedule and writing three pages is totally doable without my brain resorting to what I have affectionately called in the past “brain puddining.” It is that state that kids get when coming out of the ACTs or SATs. It is a state of mental exhaustion that occurs when you just try to wring too much information out of the sponge you call your brain.
I offset this with doing blog entries, watching a TV episode on DVD, doing housework, or having a quick go on a video game. Still this is a pretty big project and I am trying not to get burned out too fast. My theory is that the more I convert this into a full time job, the more water the sponge can hold and the more I can wring out of it at a single sitting. If I could write full time every day, much like building muscle, I am sure I will be able to devote to a larger page count. But, for now, I’m pretty satisfied with three pages a day. Not showing off, not falling behind.
Hopefully more official announcements for this very soon. Back to battle.

Showering the One You Love

I know that February is traditionally the month of love and here we are already a third of the way through March but I have been busy. Dedicating time to the blog has been few and far between. Don’t judge me! Seriously though, there was a section back in February that I really wanted to comment on but missed out on the opportunity.
Next February, if you really want to have fun, grab a folding lawn chair, a six pack of beer, and camp out in the romantic section of your local [Insert Store Name Here.] A Wal-Mart, a grocery story, drug store, or even a convenience store would work. Go somewhere where a business is displaying all the standard Valentine’s Day trappings (flowers, balloons, candies, cards, etc.) Then, the day of Valentine’s watch all the pathetic and/or desperate husbands attempting to squeeze romance out of some flimsy product after the best stock has been picked over. It is hysterical. Working at a grocery store, I was able to witness several of these encounters and suddenly had an epiphany (that is what this blog is for after all).
Now, there are two schools of thought regarding Valentines and I have seen both sides. First, like birthdays, Christmases, and anniversaries, if you purchase something for your significant other one year, they will expect it every year… and there is the inevitable pressure to top what you did the previous year. So you can either climb the pressure ladder or do nothing at all. Whichever path you take, you win… and you lose.
Dealing with this, I am reminded of the Albert Einstein quote who once said: “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
I think comedienne Aisha Tyler gave us a modern day version of the quote when she said (talking of Valentine’s Day): “Every year, people have such high hopes for it. Every year there is all this pressure to be perfect. And every year, every girl is like, ‘This is the year I get diamonds!’ And every guys is like ‘This is the year I get a blow job!’ Everybody’s disappointed.”
Now, admittedly, I do not give the whole nine yards every holiday. I try my best but it is hard. You have to mix it up and keep things fresh. This year, I had the financial wherewithal to provide my wife with a number of gifts and romantic trinkets. It was nothing dramatically over the top. It was mainly thoughtful, romantic stuff. Which translates into silky pajamas, a nice collection of roses, a thoughtful custom card, and cubic Zirconium earrings as opposed to g-strings, edible body paints and handcuffs. It was the more traditional Valentine’s Day stuff. Nice, somewhat elegant and as expensive as I could afford. (As I mentioned earlier, I am working in a grocery store right now.)
But here is the epiphany. Everything that I bought was a reflection – a symbol – of my love, if you will. A nice pair of pajamas that are silky and comfortable but not sexy dirty. Earrings I thought she would look nice wearing. Rose that say, “I love you.” Dorky stuffed animals that are cutesy and fun. I did all this to say, “On today of all days, I love you. This is a small reflection of my love for you.” Those were my exact intentions as I perused the “love aisle” at Wal-Mart. Again, money is tight this year.
And I suffered for this. As I was walking around the women’s department looking for pajamas and undergarments, you get some pretty strange looks and the ladies working said department. There is the inevitable “Can I help you find something?” Question. Which is why I was smart to have all the hearts and flowery things and stuffed animals already in my cart that I could point to and say, “Valentines Day shopping for my wife…” For all I know these people think I am some cross-dressing freak and I don’t need those glares upon me as I am in there all the time to look for action figures in the toy aisle. “Look at this one with the Spider-Man action figure.” “Yeah, I saw him last week in the ladies department shopping for bras and boy shorts.” “Ewwww…”
But the point of all this is that I went to task this holiday with the best of intentions in my heart. Sure, I was anticipating a little carnal reciprocation, but I went into this wanting to show my wife how much I love her. What I did NOT do was purchase said items saying, “Well, this ought to keep her from bitching.” Or “This should get her to shut up.” Or “This should keep me out of the doghouse.” [All of these phrases I heard from the aforementioned pathetic husbands.]
Here’s the thing, kids. Here’s the epiphany. If you are grumbling these sentiments as you are passing over your money at the cash register, chances are your whole life is in the doghouse. Why? Because you were doomed from the start. That pathetic looking rose and the half-eaten box of chocolates was not bought to be a symbol of love. You bought it so you didn’t have to hear her gripe… And, to me, that indicates problems on both ends of the relationship.
Just my two cents.
And, ladies, remember. Most of our ideas stem from things that would make us happy. Being nice and massaging your feet is a hint that we like to have our backs massaged from time to time without having to ask. If we bring you strawberries and whip cream, it’s because we like that flavor too. Men are simple creatures, ladies. If we do something elaborate for you, it means we would like to have that elaborate love reciprocated. Just some friendly advice…

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…

I know I have been away. But typically, there are two reasons for a delay of almost a month per blog update. 1) Not a whole lot is going on worth reporting or 2) too much stuff is going on. Thankfully, this time around, it is the latter.
I have been very busy with comic book work that has delayed me from regular updates. Still, that is a pretty good thing, especially that I am about to work on one of the biggest profile projects of my very early and burgeoning writing career. Damn my Nondisclosure Agreements or I would be screaming from the mountaintops… if we actually had mountains in Northeaster Oklahoma.
Some good news. When you are surrounded by crap, sometimes you just don’t realize how crappy the stuff you have is… until you get new stuff. Thanks to some financial wrangling, I was able to purchase new furniture for the living room and a new computer for myself. And I didn’t realize how bad my old stuff was until I started working and relaxing with the new stuff. Huge world of difference. The air is sweeter. Food tastes better. It is a great feeling all the way around.
More good news. The finish line for Amy’s schooling is now officially in sight. I honestly cannot see any reason why she will not be taking her final exam for certification in March or the first week in April at the very latest. After this week, she moves into her preceptorship (think of it like super-clinicals), where she has to complete either eight 12-hour days or 12 8-hours days. Once these are done, it is exit exam, certification exam, and then off to find a job in the medical market. Thankfully, regardless of the state of the economy, people are not going to quit getting sick.
She is planning on doing the bridge program from LPN to RN at RSU ASAP (could I fit in more random letters into that statement?). Even if Amy works the weekend (say Friday, Saturday, Sunday), she would make more money than I would if I worked my five days. So she can work and go to school.
So what does this do for RMF Enterprises? If Amy can get a steady paycheck coming in each week, I no longer have to struggle to make ends meet with my current 9-to-5 job. I switch to a part time position (say two days a week) and begin dedicating 5 days a week to writing, which is where I am really happy. So this is the reason for the lack of updates. A lot of stuff going on behind the scenes which, hopefully, I will be able to talk about very soon…

Need a CEO to Run Your Company Into the Ground? Welcome to RMF Enterprises!

I’ve never professed to be an intellectual aristocrat. I am by no means a superior scholar. And I am not go to sit here and spout how my business acumen and skills in the bulls and bears market is superior to anyone. And yet, we have seen story after story of big business executives running major corporations into the ground… and getting paid millions of dollars to do it.
Case in point, take uber-douche bag John Thain, who is now the former CEO of Merrill Lynch & Co. This turd burglar spent $1.2 million redecorating his downtown Manhattan office in 2008 as the company was firing employees and posting record losses.
Thain hired Los Angeles-based decorator Michael Smith. Thain paid Smith $837,000 and his purchases included $87,000 for area rugs, $25,000 for a pedestal table and $68,000 for a 19th-Century credenza.
If I ever saw this guy on the street, I would junk punch him into tomorrow. The money he spent to redecorate his frickin’ office could support my family for the rest of our lives.
So hey, moron companies out there who are paying the CEOs extravagant amounts of money! Are you paying your CEO ten million dollars a year? Hire RMF Enterprises. We will run your company into the ground for half the cost. I’ll settle for five million a year. Look at that. I just saved your company five million dollars and I can’t do any worse than the inmates you’ve got running your asylum right now!

Step on up. Any takers? I’m sitting anxiously waiting for your email…

Moved to Tears... and that don't happen often...

All right so I'm not trying to stir up any sort of political angst here or get people hot under the collar. Unless you were living in a cave... on Mars... with your fingers in your ears... Barack Obama was sworn into office today as the 44th President of the United States. I was lucky enough to be off of work and I got to watch the inauguration on TV.
Just in case you missed it or are on dial-up like me and don't want to wait on YouTube for five hours... This is the text of Barack Obama's inauguration address.

BARACK OBAMA INAUGURATION SPEECH

Now whether you bleed democratic or still have a trunk full of McCain bumper stickers, I don't really think today was about politics. On more than one occasion, the TV anchors talked about the "peaceful transfer of power." I know that in many countries around the world, they do not have that luxury.
Whether you voted for him or not -- whether you like him or not -- I think that everyone can agree that his speech today was incredibly moving and empowering. His speech was less about politics and more about the incredible resolve of the American spirit -- and even more so, the HUMAN spirit. And I believe the human spirit transcends any border.
Admitted, I don't jump in with both feet into the political arena. I am not usually passionate about politics but I will admit this. Yes, I got teary eyed at the speech. I think it was the quote from Washington about everyone coming forward to meet the common danger. I like the part about our patchwork heritage. And I particularly liked the passage where Obama said that he would outstretch his hand if they would unclench their fist.
If he can accomplish even a quarter of what he has promised (got my fingers crossed for the wind power plants here in Oklahoma), then we can get moving in the right direction, maybe the whole world can start moving to an era of unbridled peace, prosperity, and environmental healing. Again, not just for America but for the entire world.
I know it is a lofty goal to put on one man's shoulders but I hope... I hope...

Movie Review: The Express

So I was fortunate enough to get a sneak peek of the DVD release of The Express: The Ernie Davis Story. This is really a first rate movie all the way around. Be forewarned that the movie does not stretch the film boundaries too much. It follows in the same vein as Rudy, Remember the Titans, and Glory Road. Still, I think you need a movie like this every couple of years to remind you of the power and the indomitable will of the human spirit.
I knew very little of Ernie Davis’ story before the movie, although I did recognize the characters of Jim Brown and Art Modell only because I am a football fan. The film stars Dennis Quaid, Clancy Brown, Charles S. Dutton, and relative newcomer Rob Brown. You might remember Brown from his roles in Coach Carter with Samuel L. Jackson and Finding Forrester with Sean Connery. Brown only has seven credits to his name on IMDB but he carries the movie like a seasoned actor. He is very likeable and a few more roles like this one should cement him in Hollywood.
The story is really first rate. They do some really neat things with the special effects and how they present the story. They use a technique where they use a variety of camera styles that I liked.
If the movie has a drawback is that most of the white people in the film (pretty much everyone from Texas) is kind of the stereotypical racist. Maybe I am too far removed from that time period but I find it hard to believe that they only sold Cotton Bowl tickets to the most redneck, yee-haw white trash. I give this a very strong recommendation. Look for it on DVD on Tuesday the 20th. I am not certain if it would crack my top ten list of 2008 theater releases but it is a darn fine movie. (Good enough for me to write a review for it…)