Sunday, February 25, 2007

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

So I have spent a considerable amount of this Sunday working on my current comic book assignment, which is shaping up to be the best mini-series of my career.

Things are going really good with the writing and the creative team behind this and the support staff is unbelievable. This could be the book that really cements my status.

I believe that everyone who chooses a difficult and unconventional career path faces moments of doubt and uncertainty. I think this is the case for anyone that chose a creative path be it writing, singing, performing, etc. It is hard for people to see the massive breadth of your work because people don’t see all of your failures. I’ve got (Marvel’s E-I-C) Joe Quesada’s autograph dozens of times on rejection letters. Because those failures don’t see the light of day, people don’t see all those hours spent working.

There was a friend of mine back in high school and my early days of college and we use to have strange conversations. I knew the exact destination I wanted to be at. I knew I wanted to write comic books. However, there is no set of classes and seminars you can take and be guaranteed employment.
My friend was attending college but she had no clue what her destination was. She was on the road to somewhere great with scholarships and a good school but she didn’t know where she was going.
So you have one person on a golden road but doesn’t know where she is going to end up and a person armed with a machete hacking his own path through the jungle towards a shining city somewhere in the distance (with no guarantee that he will even make it to the city). Who is better off?

Through a lot of hard work (and a considerable amount of luck), I have arrived at my shining city. I don’t have a monthly assignment yet and I am still hustling for my next assignment. I’m not living in the castle yet but I am inside the perimeter wall.

So I was talking about doubt and uncertainty earlier. Every time I step into a new project I get butterflies. I wonder, “Will they like it?” “Am I good enough to do this?” “Can I do it?” But then I start to work and the more pages I get into a script, the more my confidence builds. And that is when I realize that I was born to do this. This is my calling in life.
But when you are walking that path, until you arrive at a destination, you constantly are plagued with self-doubt. For years, really ever since I left High School, I have been chasing a dream. I have turned my back on opportunities and money. Times have been tough. (In many ways, times are still tough…) And after I had kids, I realized that I was not only jeopardizing my future if I took my shot and failed… I was jeopardizing theirs as well.
But things are finally starting to turn around for me. I cannot tell you how powerful that is. You rarely hear about guys who take a shot and miss. But you also never read stories about people who take the safe path and live their lives working at a job they hate, wishing they had done something else with their life.
I like to think that I am following a similar path as my idol Todd McFarlane. And if I could build an empire a tenth the size that he has, I will die a happy man and my family will be well compensated financially.
But moreover, by pursuing this dream, I believe that it has made me a better person. It is times like this that I look back on quotable quotes I have on my web page. Now, more than ever, I take great solace in a quote from the man whom inspired my second son’s middle name…

"I am turning my back on a sure thing for some, perhaps, unattainable goal.
My wife and I have a new daughter and I know that because I am following my heart I will be a better husband and father.
No amount of money could by me that."
Todd McFarlane—1992
On leaving Spider-Man to form Image Comics

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