Happy Holidays, Everybody!

As I like to do at a time like this, I like to wish all my friends and family a Merry Christmas. [I know I am kind of pushing it to the last minute this year.] Given how the post office has become a bit of an antiquated notion in the whole digital age, I chose to send my official hello out via email. I figure what I am saving on postage and stamps alone by using this somewhat impersonal technique more than pays for my Internet service for the month. So let’s get it started.
All and all, 2007 has shaped up to be a pretty good year.
As with most people, our career often defines who we are. I have made my way through another year working in the produce department at Reasor’s to pay the bills. I doubt anyone finds that fact interesting but it is a means to an end until Amy finishes her nursing degree.
However, my regular work in comic books is certainly growing into a potential full time job. Original series, commissions, work-for-hires, I’ve got all sorts of stories in development ranging from vampires to gladiators to Martians to vigilantes. Couldn’t be happier.
Working at Reasor’s is great motivation as it is a stark reminder that I would rather tell big-boobed girls and musclemen in spandex how to fight aliens or demons as opposed to stocking bananas and throwing away out-of-date salad.
Regarding the family, Amy is going to start her official nursing program in January. We are all excited for her to get started. The boys have done well in school this year (their second at Osage Schools) and Lauren is close to finishing up her time at the Big Cabin Headstart. Alex is playing both football and basketball. Jason’s grades continue to be great. Lauren is very much continuing to grow into a little girl.
Amy and I celebrated out tenth wedding anniversary this year.
Despite having to battle two ice storms that left us without power (one in January, one in December), I can now say that I have lived in a Federal Disaster Area twice in my life. Who else can say that? Raise your hands. I notice the people in New Orleans aren’t laughing. We all miss your city but fear not. Loose women will gladly expose themselves for cheap plastic beads once more. If you know those women, send them my email address.
Other things that brought my life joy this year:
I joined the XBOX 360 Nation.
I joined the MySpace Nation.
I had a lot of fun playing Fantasy Football with some guys from work.
Marvel Civil War was awesome.
The Harry Potter novel series concluded and brought sentimental tears to my eyes.
All and all, I would say 2007 has not exactly been a tent pole year for RMF Enterprises but I think I will look back and say what we did this year laid a firm foundation for the success in the coming years.
So for all my family and friends, I wish you a Merry Christmas, A Happy Hanukkah, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, a tip top Tet, and a solemn and dignified Ramadan.
Happy Holidays Everybody!

Ryan Foley

General of the Groove Armada

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

As I am known to do from time to time, I like to throw out some recommendations for those that visit the blog.

MOVIES: Two big movies hit on DVD this coming week (Tuesday the 18th). The Simpsons Movie might be one of the funniest movies of the year. Having already seen it in theaters, I’m looking forward to studying the extra features on DVD.
Also coming out on DVD this week is the best movie you have never heard of. Stardust comes out this week and it is getting my highest recommendation because most people probably haven’t heard about it. It is a magical fairy tale that is truly unlike any other movie I have seen before. I love when a movie comes along that I cannot equate to any other because of its originality and Stardust is that movie this year. It isn’t eclipsing 300 as my favorite movie of 2007 but it is certainly going in my Top 10.

BOOKS: With the highest possible recommendation, I strongly advise all members of the Foley Nation to go out and purchase your own copy of Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You!) on bookshelves now. Now, I am a huge fan of Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report. I believe that it is consistently funnier than The Daily Show, largely in part to the great “character” that Stephen portrays in the book. The book has a laugh out loud moment on every single page and the clever use of comedy in the margins and footnotes only increases the absurdity of the commentary.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. There are just rampant jokes throughout every page, some of which you really have to pay attention to get. I would loan out my copy of the book but Mr. Colbert’s rules on such are very clear. No loaning out. Which is also why you will not find this book in libraries. No free rides.

Thanks to reading this book, I am now 25% more patriotic and I am now one of the heroes. Thanks to Mr. Colbert, just like him, I am now America. Read the book and you can be too!!!

Right now I am also reading R.A. Salvatore’s The Orc King. The adventures of Drizzt Do’Urden continue in this novel. Mr. Salvatore is one of the reasons why I write and going on another Drizzt adventure is always a great joy for me. There is no greater character in fictional literature than Drizzt and Salvatore is one of my “magnificent seven” of inspiration.

Enjoy everybody!

Surviving the December 2007 Ice Storm

Written on December 11, 2007

So life in Northeastern Oklahoma came to a screeching halt this past weekend. We were blanketed with a sheet of ice that downed power lines, snapped trees, and sent the population into a mad panic looking for candles, lamp oil, fuel for generators, and all the other madcap hi-jinks that go along with a storm such as this. Our power went out at 7:15 on Sunday night and as of this writing at 9:45 a.m. on Monday the 11th, we still have no power. (I’m writing this blog entry at work with intentions to post it whenever we get back on-line.)

Here is the ironic thing. On December 10th, the temperature was above freezing for both the whole day and the whole night. You would thing that after last winter’s nightmare storm, our power company would have had things better in hand this time around. I guess that is not the case. So, in theory, this is the last of the precipitation and things should hopefully get back to normal fairly soon. Until then, I am living on generator power and bundled up in heavy sweatshirts when I am at home.

The schools are out but the roads are drivable. Most of the school closings are the result of having no power as opposed to road conditions. With highs supposed to be in the forties for the next couple of days, I’m hoping most of the ice will be gone.
Unfortunately, our front yard looks like a war zone that only a few hours with a chainsaw and several burning brush piles will cure.
So, to answer your next question… Yes, this was the worst birthday ever. My first couple days of being thirty-three years old have not started out very good. But I guess when it starts out this far in the toilet, you have nowhere to go but up.

Written on December 14, 2007
As I reach close to 7:15 a.m. on this day, we are now 108 hours without power. Five and one half days. Admittedly, we are far better off than we were when this happened last winter. I have a generator so we have limited power that basically gives us the bare necessities and some entertainment to get by.
Still having no stove, microwave, or refrigerator is really starting to get old. According to my power company websites, there are crews in our area and they are supposed to be working on individual homes… but still I am not holding my breath. As I learned last time, false hope is worse than no hope.
I think the most frustrating thing is that things are relatively back to normal. The roads are free of ice and were never treacherous and the ice is all off the lines because of several days spent above freezing. So we are much better off than we were before, let progress seems to be just as slow when it comes to getting everything powered up despite what you might call “favorable” conditions.
Oh well…
Yesterday was the first day off that I had from work and I spent the better part of two hours cleaning up my front yard. I have built a brush pile about the size of a full-size pick up. Maybe bigger. And I am nowhere near close to being done.
So as we continue to shoulder on, let me just say: Ice sucks.

Written on December 14th, 2007
God bless Will Smith. He fights aliens, he saves the planet, he delivers us from vampires, and be brings me electricity. Coming out from watching I Am Legend with some friends from work, I was given the good news. Power has been restored!!!

Written on December 15, 2007
What a difference a few hours makes. At approximately 5:20 p.m., 118 hours after this whole ordeal began, we finally have power restored and life is getting back to normal here in Adair.
Right now, in my refrigerator, there is a bag of bacon bits, a block of Velveeta, lemon juice in a squeeze bottle, some Arm & Hammer baking soda, Kool-Aid, and ice. Oh, and some Pepsi. Yeah, the refrigerator is pretty bare, folks. I don’t even want to calculate how meat we had to throw away.
Still I think we were much better off this time around than in January. I keep telling myself that I am slowly going to stock up on essentials like lanterns and lamp oil.
It could have been worse. When the power went out, I just walked out the front porch to start the generator. Last time, we had to scramble to find/buy one.
Now I just have to get the front yard cleaned up and get the house put back together. One step at a time… Or I could spend my day off going to watch Hitman in Pryor. Yeah, screw the yard. I’m going to the movies…

A NOVEMBER TO REMEMBER

I know my blog has been lacking lately but believe me when I tell you that it has been for an outstanding reason! Now, I am not revealing a lot here because of certain confidentiality agreements but I have been hired by an overseas company to adapt a literary classic into a graphic novel. [Graphic novel is the fancy term for a bound comic book.]
I was given a mid-December deadline and I have finished the first draft of that assignment on the last day of November. That’s sixty-four comic pages in about 14 days. I think that is pretty darn impressive considering I am still working my full-time job as well. The money on the project is very good (from my point of view) and it has been a great opportunity for me to expand my base and my contacts. Hopefully, my Arcana Studio mates might even get some work out of this project through freelance coloring and lettering. It could very well be a win/win for everyone involved.
After chewing through the rough draft and completing my page structure and such, I have sat back and relaxed for a few days. I celebrated by hooking my XBOX 360 back up. I passed the script over to my editor to catch all of my spelling and grammar mistakes. I might go back and play with the finer points to really make this a Ryan Foley book. But I was so jazzed after I finished the assignment.
I think that writers—good writers—are always writing. It is in their bloodstream. Over these last few weeks, I have found myself getting up at 5:00 a.m. to write before going to work. I would write on my coffee and lunch breaks at work. I would write when I came home from work. I was writing all the time, telling myself, “Self, let’s just get this one more page done.”
Part of me was doing this because I was terrified of my deadline. (FIFTEEN DAYS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE!!!) This is why my blog has been suffering from a lack of updates!
Now I was writing during the Thanksgiving rush (a pretty busy time for a grocery store) and I went for a pretty long stretch without a day off. And when I finally got my day off, I made a startling discovery. I told myself that I was going to treat it like my normal job and write for eight hours straight and treat it like a 40-hour a week job.
That’s when I discovered that if you do that your brain into pudding in your skull. After that day, I felt like I had just come off the ACTs. And I would rather be physically tired than mentally tired, any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
I think you have to off-set your work with a relaxing break. So I found that unhooking the XBOX was a mistake and I function better if I write for a few hours, take a break by watching an episode of My Name Is Earl or playing a level on Tomb Raider Anniversary.
Of course, it is after that break that I find myself drifting back to the computer to work and when you put all that time together, it probably equals out to a forty-hour-a-week job but you do it over the course of eighty hours.
Still, this is the job I would love to do full time. I wish I could write for a few hours, take a break to clean house and do dishes, write a little more, fold clothes, and then write a little more… I just need to start having steady paychecks coming in.

We’ll see how it unfolds. More news soon.

Perspective, Kingsley, and NOT spending a night in jail…

First of all, I don’t consider myself to be overly intelligent. I like to think that because of past grades and certain standardized test scores, I believe that I am above average when it comes to the old noggin but not too high up the charts to look down on other people. However, rather than getting my learnin’ solely from books and education, I learn a lot from popular culture. And I am confident enough in my self-esteem to admit it. (Yes, I learned about Coriolis Effect and Occam’s Razor from The Simpsons.)
And I had an event yesterday that immediately registered in my mind both of which happened to involve the wonderful actor Sir Ben Kingsley. In the movie Sneakers (with Robert Redford), Kingsley talks about how life is not based on reality but on the perception of reality. (This is also detailed in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave if you want to go the highbrow route.)
And in Lucky # Slevin, Kingsley’s character The Rabbi has a monologue about luck. A brief sample:
The Rabbi: The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky. You are unlucky, so I may know that I am not. Unfortunately the lucky never realizes they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself for instance; yesterday you were better off than you are off today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived and it's too late. You see? People are never happy with what they have. They want what they had, or what others have. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Now, I bring all this up because I recently had an epiphany about luck, circumstance, and perspective. Because I was entertained by the stories of a co-worker yesterday morning as he regaled us of his time spent in the Craig County Jail after being arrested for driving with a suspended license. Now, I am by no means a goody two-shoes. However, I can proudly state that:
I have never been in jail.
I have never been in prison.
I have never done drugs.
I’ve never been unfaithful to my wife.
My wife has never been unfaithful to me.
I’ve never beaten my wife.
I’ve never beaten my kids.
I’ve never defaulted on a loan.
I’ve never gotten an angry “final notice” letter.
I’ve never had anything repossessed.
I’ve never had to pawn anything to pay bills.
I’ve never been fired from a job.

I write all this out because I think at times we get so caught up in the rat race and the rigmarole that we often lose perspective. We lose sight of what is really important. A friend of mine (Hi, Ray!) sent me an email one time that had statements like if I’m overweight, it means I’m not starving. If I’m complaining about gas prices, it means I have a car. It is kind of one of those moments like, “I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”
So when I complain and say, “I have to work until 5:00 today…” I should really be celebrating saying, “I get to work today!” which means I’m making money and that I have a job. Okay, granted, it’s not a great job and the it is not a lot of money, but still I have a job that does pay money.
Honestly, when my biggest problems involve not being able to find the latest wave of Marvel Legends action figures, not getting enough “relations” from my wife, and shaving my head because I’m going bald… suddenly my situation doesn’t seem that bad.
Yesterday, after coming home from an eight-hour shift at an inside job where I stock fruits and vegetables and more often than not laugh with my co-workers, I watched my kids play the latest Mario game on their Nintendo Wii. Then, when they went to practice for their Christmas program at church, between working on my latest comic book project, watching the new Beowulf trailer, looking at boobs on the Internet, and playing Tomb Raider Anniversary on my X-BOX 360, I watched part of a Schwarzenegger movie for story research. Then, when the wife and kids got back home, we watched our DirecTV satellite-fed programs on a 55” Widescreen TV in a house that is completely paid for with no mortgage to speak of.
Then to cap off the evening, I slept in a warm bed with a loving wife in a dark bedroom with a belly full of food.
The biggest problems of the day?
Luke and I missed working with Aaron M. (Sniff, sniff)
I need to get a quart of oil for my car. (Solved today.)
I’ve got too many running backs and not enough wide receivers on my fantasy football team. (Yeah, that’s life and death.)
I need to start saving up money to buy Assassin’s Creed. (That may take a month or two. Oh no, I have to wait a month or two to play a game…)
And I didn’t get to do the hibbity-dibbity last night. (Again, problem probably solved tonight—unless she reads this entry.)
It really all comes down to perspective, boys and girls. Honestly, look around and take stock of your life. In doing so, things may not be as bad as they seem. At least you didn’t spend last night LOCKED in a brightly illuminated jail cell with a paper-thin mattress, no pillow, an open public toilet, and a crappy meal while spending time with a multiple-murderer and a drug-trafficker who are awaiting trial and are probably considering sodomizing you…
It all comes down to perspective, kids. Remember those words.
Yesterday you were better off than you are off today but it took today for you to realize it. But today has arrived and it's too late.
Hopefully, by you reading this, I have made you realize how lucky you are without you having to go to jail or be drug before a crime boss with a shotgun to realize it…
Have a great day. I sure will.

ROUND 2… Ding. Ding.

The assault begins.
Thanks to certain key elements falling into place and a little financial backing/contribution from my dad, I have finally begun a second full-fledged assault on Marvel Comics. Thanks to the return of Marvel Comics Presents and with certain maturations in my writing with all my various comic book work thus far, I think I am extremely prepared for a second run at Marvel.

Here recently, I added a new poster to my Spider-Man bathroom. (Yes I have a bathroom totally decorated in Spider-Man. Come by and use it. Admission is free but it costs $5.00 to get out.) With my most recent submission, I’ve used one of the characters that you see here. One down. All the rest of the characters left to go…

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

FANTASY FOOTBALL: I’m a big football fan. Baseball, basketball, soccer, I could really care less. But pro football is my favorite. When your team is winning, then things are really good. When they are losing, it is tough to stay motivated. This is probably why I haven’t mentioned football as my New York Giants were stinking up the place for the first two weeks of the season. But we have had some impressive games here lately and it looks like they are righting the ship. I dare even mention the word “playoffs.”
However, I got involved in a fantasy football league with some guys at work. Nothing makes you pay attention to the NFL more than a fantasy team. Suddenly I’m tracking stats on teams that I never would have cared about regardless. It gives us a lot to talk about on Monday (and even throughout the week).
And right now, the Adair Arsenal is sitting at 3 and 3. (I should mention that 4 out of the six teams all hold a 3 and 3 record.) While I am currently in third place (ties are broken by total points scored), I am poised to take over the #2 spot in the league next week. We are about a quarter of the way through our season and I’m hoping my team will hold up. God bless Peyton Manning!

LAST ONE STANDING: The Discovery Channel is showing a new series called Last One Standing. (New episodes air on Thursdays at 8:00 CT.) If you want to see the ultimate in athletic competition, this is a bad ass reality show. They have only aired two episodes thus far but the series looks to be very promising.
I highly recommend watching this TV show. The first week was Kalopaolo wrestling in Brazil and the week after that was Zulu stick fighting in South Africa. Check this one out. You won’t be disappointed.

More soon.

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

An Irish legend tells of Jack, a thief who uses a cross to trap the Devil. Jack was getting chased by some villagers whom he had stolen from when he met the Devil. It was time for him to die.
However, the thief stalled his death by tempting the Devil with a chance to bedevil the church-going villagers chasing him. Jack told the Devil to turn into a coin with which he would pay for the stolen goods. (The Devil could take on any shape he wanted.) Later, when the coin/Devil disappeared, the Christian villagers would fight over who had stolen it. The Devil agreed to this plan. He turned himself into a silver coin and jumped into Jack's wallet... only to find himself next to a cross Jack had also picked up in the village. Jack had closed the wallet tight, and the cross stripped the Devil of his powers and so he was trapped.
Jack only let the Devil go when he agrees to never take his soul. After a while the thief died, as all living things do. Of course, his life had been too sinful for Jack to go to heaven. However, the Devil had promised not to take his soul, and so Jack was barred from Hell as well.
Jack now had nowhere to go. He asked how he would see where to go, as he had no light, and the Devil mockingly tossed him an ember that would never burn out from the flames of hell. Jack carved out one of his turnips (which was his favorite food), put the ember inside it, and began endlessly wandering the Earth for a resting place. He became known as “Jack of the Lantern” or Jack O’ Lantern.
On All Hallow's Eve, the Irish hollowed out turnips, rutabagas, gourds, potatoes and beets. They placed a light in them to ward off evil spirits and keep Jack of the Lantern away. These were the original Jack O' Lanterns. In the 1800's a couple of waves of Irish immigrants came to America. The Irish immigrants quickly discovered that Pumpkins were bigger and easier to carve out.
So they used pumpkins for Jack O' Lanterns.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

It has been close to two weeks since my last blog. Seems like I never have enough hours in the day. I’m trying to keep cool in the face of adversity as I try to continuously juggle work, writing, the family, the house and all the other stresses of modern life.
Here we are in October. Amy and I took some time and decorated the house for Halloween. I can’t help but think that Christmas—also known as Stressmas—is right around the corner. Even beginning to think about gifts and such ties my stomach in knots. It’s not that I am opposed to giving gifts. I gift with the best of ‘em, baby! It is just that the paychecks are a little slender this year and that makes it difficult.
While I should not be complaining about my hours, I am working six days at work as the result of a firing. It sucks that they had to let one of our guys go (he has no one to blame but himself) but it secures my hours during a season where hours can get pretty scarce. Still, I have kids to feed.
Of course, I am still trying to write a considerable amount as I am currently between assignments. Ugg. Just not enough hours in the day. Which is partially why my Blog and my MySpace page are so neglected.
My darling daughter Lauren turned 4 on the second! And I have Alex’s birthday, Amy’s birthday, and Jason’s birthday all stacked up in the next five weeks. As a result, I’m off to the blood bank to pay for presents. Or maybe the sperm bank. I hear they pay money hand over fist!

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Do you ever get the feeling that there just aren’t enough hours in the day?
Do you ever get the feeling that there is never enough money?
Do you ever get the feeling that there is more to life?
Years ago, I read a story called Shadows of the Empire that revolved around a story that took place between the Star Wars movies The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. In the story, we see Darth Vader in the confines of a hyperbaric chamber where he can live outside of his mechanical suit. When in the chamber, Vader uses his mastery of the Force to heal his injured body. Upon doing so, he gets happy. But since his connection to the Force is fueled by his rage and the dark side, once he gets happy, he loses his connection, his body crashes again, and it fuels his rage even more. It is a perpetual cycle of self-destruction.
I feel like Vader at times.
Struggling against the problems that life throws at you seems like a constant and unending battle. I’ve always said that I can handle big problems. Those you can see coming and you can face them head on. But it’s usually not the big problems that get you. In keeping with the Star Wars metaphors, you can bring your lightsaber up in defense against that single big problem. It seems like in my life, it is the myriad of small problems that chip away at my armor. By themselves, the problems are easily handled and dispatched but when they pile up and assault you all at once, there just aren’t enough parries and ripostes in your arsenal. Your laser sword can only block and battle away so many of these problems.
And when you flail in the dark with no hope in sight, you begin to lose your sense of direction. You can’t find which way is up and the weight of the world seems to crash down on your shoulders. And it seems even worse when you are fighting the battle alone. I often feel like I am screaming in the void with no one to even hear my shouts of frustration.
When I start to experience these struggles, I often take solace in that my life has certain pillars of stability. I can look around at other’s people’s lives and tell myself, “Hey, at least I’m not that guy.”
No massive addictions. No prison sentences. Hey, it could be a lot worse!
Still, it is times like this when I look around and wonder how my life got to this level. As always, it is times like this when I retreat into my writing to help me get through the days. I know it sounds strange but retreating into the lives of fictional characters and seeing them fight their way through their problems is almost therapeutic for me.
But it is hard when you delve into this realm of fantasy that becomes your obsession… when you have no one to share the obsession with. I think maybe this is the reason I chose to write a story about a character that is living on an isolated ice ball of a planet. Perhaps it brings more depth to my writing.
Still it seems like a perpetual cycle of grief.
The things that I care most about in life, I have no one to talk with about these joys. So I retreat into my writing, write an outstanding passage that I love, and I look around for someone to share this joy with… and there is no one. So my grasp of the Force disappears and I come crashing down again.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, it seems like a fairly insignificant problem. And if that were the only problem in my life, I would meet it head on but when I have to tack on problems at work, problems at home, problems with my family, problems with money… it just seems like I’m screaming into the void…Hey, I often said that this blog is used to help me sort out problems. Maybe voicing it is the first step…

Escape Is Just The Beginning

So I like to consider myself a bit of an entertainment guru. While I was at work today, an assistant manager was leaving work and she caught me asking for movie recommendations. She wanted something creepy so I recommended the 2001 thriller Frailty with Matthew McConaughey, Bill Paxton, and Powers Booth. Totally creepy. What a great movie. Similar to Denzel Washington’s Fallen and the awesome psychological mind-hump The Sixth Sense.
Taking great pride in this recommendation and knowing that she is set for the night with a great movie, allow me to share what the old RMF is into right now. Released just this week on Tuesday (the 4th) is the second season of Prison Break on DVD starring Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell.
With Lost really going off the deep end last season, Prison Break has cemented itself (in my opinion) as the single best television show on TV. I could go on and out about the series and such but you can do Internet searches and find all that info.
I’m pushing to make it through all 22 episodes before September 17th when the third season kicks off. Season 2 ends with a big cliffhanger ending (the same as Season 1) that leaves you saying, “Holy crap. Where are they taking me from here?”
Now, to give you a flip side of the coin, Amy doesn’t like the series because Season One is them escaping from prison (SPOILER ALERT: They escape.) And Season Two is about their flight from justice and trying to make it across the border while being hounded by all kinds of law enforcement. Of course, the escape and the run is what makes the series so incredible. Like the old saying goes, the best laid plans are laid low by mice and men. So things go wrong and the group has to adapt. It is what makes the series so great.
Still, Amy feels the series should have only lasted five or six episodes and be over with.
Seeing that the second season was released on DVD and with the day off, I immediately went and cashed in my change cup at the bank and drove 90-to-nothing towards Wal-Mart. If you have an extra $40 and 22 hours to kill, Prison Break Season Two gets two big thumbs up from your friendly neighborhood entertainment reviewer.

Happy viewing.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

A long weekend, a long week, and finally a chance to relax. Labor Day Weekend was by no means a vacation for me. After logging 55 hours at the store over the last week, I am looking forward to a day off. I am hoping to get some writing done and relax a little bit. Thank goodness for my friend Luke at work. I think we made the long hours tolerable by keeping each other laughing, even if it is just in quick passings.
As I was leaving, a good friend Ra’ asked me what I had planned for tomorrow (finally a day off). I smiled and said, “Nothing!” Thank God for the overtime. I just found out the second season of Prison Break came out today.
Thankfully, (as reflected by my MySpace page), my XBOX 360 was returned this week after suffering a general hardware failure. Microsoft sent me a BRAND NEW console so thankfully I am back to raiding tombs with Lara and blasting battle droids and Geonosian warriors with my Clone Commando brothers. It is a nice way to relax after a hard day’s work.
I am getting artwork regularly on two of the three comic book series that I am working on right now. It is very cool to see my words come to life through artwork. The emails have been flying fast a furious but it is such an exciting time for me. I had to share the cover of The Praetorian with friends at work because I was so excited. Everyone’s eyes pop when they see it and describe the character displayed in the art as “cool”, ”sexy”, ”strong,” etc.
So I am working on several projects at the same time and I sometimes wish I could pull a Michael Keaton in Multiplicity and clone myself a few times. Well, maybe just clone one of me and about four of Amy. Now that would be cool.
Regardless, things continue to develop here at the Foley Compound. Amy is still taking her nursing classes and running the house while I work full time. The kids are back in school and doing well. Alex is playing 5th grade football and according to the kids on the team and the coach, he is pretty darn good at it. (Thank goodness he doesn’t take after his old man.) He’s going to be a lineman and Amy and I think it will be great for his self-esteem.
Jason was diagnosed a while back with ADD and we are working on medication to keep him focused on his schoolwork. Thank goodness for the councilors at Osage. They’ve done more in nine weeks than the councilors at Adair did in three years.
We are still trying to decide if Lauren will attend K4 next year or continue in Head Start. She is clearly becoming a little lady.
So that is it. I cannot wait for football season to start this Thursday. As always, I have high hopes for my New York Giants. Strahan is back and I think Shockey is ready to light it up. But as goes Eli Manning, so go the Giants. (Fingers crossed.) Plus, the new Fall TV season is right around the corner.
Good comic work going, lots of hours on my next paycheck, football season is right around the corner, 100-degree days are over… Man, things are pretty good right now! Hope everyone else is this good!

Ryan

P.S. I know it’s cliché but I have some other good news too… I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO.

A backward poet writes inverse.

I think when dealing with any creative endeavor, there are moments of question and doubt. Sometimes these moments can be fleeting and other times they may seem like an impossible demon to slay. Regardless, I think that you have to face these fears head on with sword in hand. You cannot run from these fears and you cannot let them defeat you.
Back in the day, I began my writing career by publishing fan-fiction stories on the Internet revolving around the video game Tomb Raider. Having completed several comic book assignments and finding some downtime, I was curious if I could “go home again” and go back to writing a Lara Croft story.
Now writing prose in a novel format and writing a comic book script are two very different styles. (I have to admit that because of its speed, I like the comic script format better.) As I began to flesh out this story and started putting the scenes together, I felt those demons of doubt beginning to creep in and look over my shoulder. I began to feel those pangs of uncertainty.
The Internet can be a pretty cruel place. After all, as a writer, you are really nothing more than an email address. I began to wonder if people would even like this story. Would they hate it? Would they find out that I was a hack that had somehow managed to fake his way into the genre?
But as the story began to come together, I began to feel my confidence return. I liked the way the story was flowing and it satisfied me. I once heard a quote from George Lucas where he talked about how he made movies that he would want to see in the theaters and he was just lucky that a lot of people wanted to watch the same movie he did.
I’ve tried to take that attitude with my writing. I write stories that I would want to read. And as I am now definitely over the hump and making my way towards the end of this story, I believe it is a story—as a Tomb Raider fan—that I would want to read.
Of course the question now comes, will the rest of the on-line TR community like it? Hey, you can’t get your feet wet if you never get off the porch. Sometimes it is best to just dive in headfirst. Remember, kids, when in doubt, fortune favors the bold.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Uggg. Insomnia. Normally, insomnia is not exactly a bad thing if I don’t have to work the next day. I sneak into the living room. The house is quiet. The kids are asleep. I know the phone won’t ring. I can write without any sort of interruption. But, admittedly, I’m getting older and I need my sleep, especially if I have to work the next day. Or, in this case, in a few hours.
I’m venting here [hey, what’s a blog for?] but admittedly, on a personal level, my life could be a whole lot better right now. I am taking great strides to make it better but sometimes it feels like trying to ice skate uphill.
I don’t want to sound like a broken record but I think 90% of my problems stem from money. This is typically where the church types begin to warn, “Money is the root of all evil.” This is not true. If you check your scriptures, it warns, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” And while I admit I do love money, I realize that I do not need excessive amounts to be happy, I just want enough to be comfortable.
I just want enough to have adequate health care, plenty of food in the cupboards, and be able to go to the movies without cashing in my change cup.
Right now, I am the sole breadwinner for the family while Amy is in school, which means we are scrimping right now to get by. And it sucks. Right now, Amy is about 90% certain she will begin class to get her RN license in January. But it’s only August still. Which means a long time to go on a crappy salary.
Which means a pretty shallow Christmas. Which means having about 20 bucks left over at the end of the pay period. I just hate it. I mean, thank God we own the house. If it weren’t for that, we would be up crap creek. It is probably one of the few saving graces that I have.
Now, we are making our bills. The kids aren’t starving. We have electricity. We are not close to being homeless. It could be a lot worse but when I want to go out and buy a new DVD, I can’t just go out and pay cash for it. I have to save up for it and I hate that. I have to save up to buy Scrubs on DVD or a new music soundtrack… And if I have to save up to buy a DVD set, how can I go out and buy a new set of beds for my boys or a new couch for Amy? Some people go out and buy new furniture or new clothes because they want them. I don’t have that luxury. I wish I did. And when I think about this kind of thing, it makes me frustrated and adds to my stress.
Despite having over 50 legit “friends” on MySpace, my circle seems to be ever shrinking and I think that adds to the depression. With my mom gone and my Dad in California, it seems like I don’t have a “my side of the family” anymore. Many of my best friends are too far away. The poker games have broken up. And (see above) my amount of money is limited at best. Which means I work, I come home, do my Internet stuff, write a little bit, go to sleep, and then it starts all over again. My amount of contact with a wide variety of people is shrinking by the day.
There are times that I feel like I see the people at work the most. Thank God that my boss, Dave, and I are really cool. Also, I have made a good friend in the meat department named Luke (you can find him on my MySpace page). We have become fast friends. We share the same level of humor and share a lot of interests. But if I talk to Luke at work, we get glares from the management. And this begins to translate into laziness when really it stems from a craving for human contact. I mean people want to spend time with friends.
I am flanked by good news. I don’t want people to think my life is complete s--t storm.
Yes, I am working in comic books instead of just working at a grocery store. But right now, comics don’t pay the bills. There is an enormous amount of time between writing a script and getting a paycheck. This might be different if I had a monthly assignment. [And I am working on that: See my next blog entry.] I am still going to try to B.S. my way into Google but that is a long shot…
It is a tremendous thrill to be working in comics but splitting time between comics and my regular “job” is pretty hard sometimes.
The kids are all back in school which means the food bill drops tremendously.
I still have plenty of creative irons in the fire.
Good news and better times are on the horizon. I can see them. And if not for that horizon, I would probably be in pretty bad shape but as it is, for now, I’m taking it like an alcoholic.
One day at a time, people. One day at a time.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

There is that old saying about God not closing a door without opening a window. I know it is cliché but in this case, it counts. Thanks to my publisher Sean O’Reilly, I was introduced to a tremendously talented artist named Giampaolo Frizzi that is based in Lucca, Italy.
We were originally scheduled to work together on a commissioned series. After seeing his samples, I was hollering at Sean saying how much I wanted to work with him. In fact I sent along an email saying how much I wanted Giampaolo to work on a future licensing project. I was crushed when I found out that the money behind the commissioned series wanted to use a different artist.
Such is the nature of the industry and sometimes artists are chosen for different reasons. I saw this as a blessing because it introduced me to a second, incredibly talented penciler that I have had the pleasure of working with. (More on this later.)
Still, Giampaolo and I wanted to work together and Sean asked me to come up with a series for us to develop together. So when Giampaolo sent me a sketch of a Roman gladiator for a painting he was doing, this giant light bulb came on over my head.
I sent a script for a gladiator-themed storyline I had been developing since 2004 and the rest, as they say, is history. It is this storyline that I have started to receive artwork on.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. And so on. Artwork is kind of a funny thing. You can look at it and say either, “I like that” or “I don’t like that.”
I look at the art of comic superstars like Jim Lee, Ed Benes, Mike Turner, Al Rio, Emiliano Santalucia, Frank Cho, and Brett Booth and I say, “Wow, I wish I could draw like that.” Giampaolo draws like that. I could not be happier that someone with an art style that I love is working on one of my stories. We have been working on cover designs, discussing novels, and influences. Literally, it is a dream come true. This is what I was put on this earth to do. No doubt.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

It’s ironic that my last blog entry was talking about my mother. Today should have been my mom’s 58th birthday. Having the day off from work and not realizing that it was the 10th, the date might have passed unnoticed until my wife reminded me this morning. I’ll say it again. Cancer sucks kids.
I’ve been away from the blog for a few days because of my work schedule and a number of projects but I am hoping to get on a more regular routine with the kids getting ready to get back in school. I have been working at my 9-to-5 job that is not exactly 9-to-5, I’ve been working on art approvals for my comic book projects, and I have been working on some personal projects to improve my home and family life.
Unfortunately, most of my spare time has returned as my XBox 360 experienced the “Ring of Death,” also known as a general hardware failure. Thank God Microsoft has the problem fixed via warranty but I am without my video games for about two weeks. Microsoft is supposed to be setting up a support group in my area but they haven’t found a building big enough to hold us all.
Of course, with my system down, this puts a definite crimp in my latest personal project. While I tremendously enjoy writing the comic book script, I got my start back around 1998 writing short stories for the on-line Tomb Raider community. (This was long before the Angelina Jolie movies made Lara Croft a household name.)
When I purchased my XBox 360 secondhand cheap, the first game I bought was Tomb Raider Legend bringing me back to the TR franchise after a substantial absence. While playing the game and after defeating the final level, I began to get an itch… The old saying is that you can’t go home again. Well, I’m going to give it a try.
While it still very early and in the first draft planning stages, I’ve been using some of my downtime to write out a Tomb Raider E-Story. I’ve done a few test pages and passed them around to friends and the response has been fairly positive. So this is part of the reason for an absence on the blog but I’m hoping to write here about my creative process.
More Soon.

Thinking About My Mother...

Nine times out of ten, I often curse the length of my commute. On average, the trip takes about 22 minutes. Granted I am only driving from outside Adair to Langley. There is minimal traffic. We don’t really have a rush hour. (It is one of the few advantages of living in the country.)
My dad is currently living in the San Francisco area and his commute is not measure in miles but in time. Chances are he is probably driving the same number of miles but it takes him twice the time because of the traffic.
My main complaint about my commute revolves around the amount I have to spend in gas. Still, I think it is good to have that therapeutic time to myself. When I am on my home from work—especially when I have had a bad day—I enjoy using the time to decompress before I see my family. I use the time to listen to whatever song I want and whatever volume I want. But there are times when I just shut the music off and take some time for my introspective thoughts.
It’s times like this—the quiet times when the outside world doesn’t exist—that I think about my mom. For those new to the blog, my Mom passed away shortly after Christmas in 2005 after experiencing nagging pain in October and officially being diagnosed with cancer in mid-November of the same year. Take a second to think about that timeframe. She went from being healthy as a horse to gone in under six month.
Despite being over a year and a half since her passing, I think about her all the time. The last movie we ever watched together was Batman Begins, so now that I am seeing sneak peek shots of The Dark Knight, I think about her.
I’ve really come to like the music group Breaking Benjamin. I hear some of their songs like Until the End and You. I firmly believe is the saying, “Greater indeed are pleasures that are shared.” There are times when I think about my mom wondering, “Would see like this song?” “Would she have liked this movie?”It is strange but I think about my mom the most when I find things that I like and I can no longer share them with her. My mom was only 56 years old when she died. Don’t smoke, kiddos. Learn from her mistake.

It's wierd the way “finger puppets” sounds okay as a noun. –Demetri Martin

Humor is often considered to be subjective. What those find funny, others might find moronic or even offensive. I don’t consider myself to be a tremendously highbrow individual. Let’s face it. A guy getting hit in the nertzs is pretty darn funny no matter how you slice it.
But true comedy, in my opinion, is something that is not tremendously funny initially but when taken out of context, it becomes hysterical. Like Haley’s Comet or the Aurora Borealis, such an instance of pure, perfect comedy is rare, possibly once in a lifetime. And when that happens, you must learn to embrace it.
Such an incident happened today at work.
Working in my department, I looked up from my work and saw an old woman. She was a retiree. Probably a grandmother of three. She was wearing a gray shirt that matched her hair and on that shirt was a logo. To look at it would make you say, “Awww, that is sweet. She’s an animal lover.”
And yet, if you take that same shirt and change the wearer, let’s say from her to—oh I don’t know—me, it becomes the greatest T-Shirt in the history of time.
Not having a camera on me, this is my attempt to recreate the shirt in Photoshop. And yes, I have already begun the Internet search for a version of the shirt to purchase myself.

God bless America.

A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

I think that mankind was created with the intent of being social creatures. After all, the most brutal form of punishment is to place a prisoner in solitary confinement. Human beings are designed to interact with one another. When I was working as a full time father, it was rare occasions that I would get to spend considerable amount of time with adults. And as such, during those rare times when I got to spend time with people who could carry on conversations, I was extremely happy.
I have gone to back to work at a job that I had through high school and college while Amy goes through her nursing program. It’s not like I have this massive amount of friends so you will see that about 50% of the people in my MySpace friends list are co-workers. Many of the kids that I work help keep me connected with the youth. There are times when I feel pretty old (I’ve ranted about this before) even though I’m only 32. But we were talking in the break room today and many didn’t know the song “The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground. Am I really getting that old?
So, there are times where I just DO NOT want to go into work. The money is crap. I’m doing work that they could hire a high school kid to replace me to do. And it is pretty much the same thing day after day. I can stomach the job because I know that as soon as Amy finishes the nursing program, I am out. Still, it can be a frickin’ grind. But then some days come along and things do not seem so bad.
And when it happens, it is because of the coworkers. The great sage Jack Handy once said, “My dad felt laughter was the best medicine… which is why so many of us died from tuberculosis.” But when a select group of us can get together, tell stupid stories, and laugh at infantile jokes, things don’t seem that bad.
Today was one of those days.
It was a day where we busted rear early, got everything done, and then spent the rest of the day cruising along and filling holes as needed. This allowed for time to laugh at jokes and do just a little bit of clowning around in between filling cartloads of product.
I think there are times when you have to have that laughter to break the monotony and keep spirits up. In the end, I actually think that improves productivity. If you can leave at the end of the day smiling and laughing, that’s a good day. And then the strange thing is when I get home and tell my wife about my day, the stories are never as funny as the events themselves. Or at least, she doesn’t laugh nearly as hard as she should.
I’d like to think that is because is not in the mud and blood. She is not in the trenches with us, so maybe she can’t understand how the humor helps us cope.
Now, granted, I’m working in a grocery store. It is certainly not war (although it feels like it sometimes). But it is a thankless job. It’s a grunt job.
I think that if I were president, I would implement a policy where after you complete college, you have to serve one year in a grunt position (i.e. grocery store, Wal-Mart, fast food restaurant, convenience store) at minimum wage pay. I think that if everyone did that—from the snooty super rich all the way down to the lowest income worker—then people would walk away with respect for that job position. They would realize that those grunt positions are a tough job that doesn’t pay a lot of money and that even though they don’t earn a lot of money, the position still should earn you respect.
I think that if people did that, the world would be a better place…

One third of all explorers who visit the north and south pole develop bipolar disorder.

Dr. Cox: If I wanted my pateints to be more depressed, I’d just have them read Newbie’s latest blog entry.
JD: “Why being really lonely is sometimes super awesome.”
Scrubs
My Fishbowl (2007)

NO SPOILERS!
So I re-emerge amongst the land of the living after going into self-imposed exile to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that was released on Saturday, July 21st. Being a long time fan of the book series, I was excited about the last book in the series and at the same time a little sad. It is strange to come to the end of an era.
I came to the Potter phenomenon shortly before the fourth book was about to be released but long before the movies came out. Potter is one of those unique series where if a genie from a magic lamp offered me the opportunity to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (or the United States’ sister school), I would jump at the chance. I would sell everyone reading this entry into slavery for the opportunity and never look back. Of course, I feel the same way about Star Wars and the mafia…
What amazes me is how much of a cultural phenomenon Harry Potter has become. First of all, J.K. Rowling is a fantastic author. I remember taking a lot of flack from friends for reading “a kid’s book” but, really, the only people who say that are people that have not read the series.
And don’t even get me started on people who think that the books are “evil” because they promote witchcraft. Effing R-Tards, all of them. I remember shortly before the first movie came out, there was an article in the local paper where one side was for Harry Potter and the other was against… but the person against HP hadn’t even read the book. Instead, they read books about the book. They couldn’t even take the time to read the book for themselves!!! Morons.
At work, half of my department is reading the book. Half the video is reading the book. While that may not seem like a lot of people, what was the last book that you knew 12 people were all reading for recreation at the same time?
Admittedly, I chewed through the 750+ pages a little faster than normal. If I am spending twenty bucks on a hard back book, I want to take my time and get my money out of it. But at the same time, I didn’t want to overhear some jerk store talking about the book and ruining the ending. Again, notice, I put no spoilers in this entry.
So if you are loyal fan, I’d love to hear opinions on the book through email or if you have never read the series, get started. I know it is cliché but the books are much better than the movies. The movies are good but a lot needs to be chopped out for the running time.
Get reading, boys and girls. I guaran-damn-tee you won’t be disappointed.

100 Things You Might Not Know About Me...

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? On my forehead. Chicken Pox
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? For my bedroom? Mirrors and artistically bunched fabric.
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I snore but it is a soothing rhythmic sound that people pay big money to listen to. It provides blissful serenity and you sleep like a baby.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? My favorite is Original Music Scores from films but I've also become addicted to Breaking Benjamin.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 10:10 p.m. on 12-10.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? Head. No, Money. Well, head. No, money. Head while recieving money. BINGO! Best of both worlds.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? The days of ZERO responsibility where the biggest problem was finding a date on Friday night.
8. WHAT IS/ARE YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? My Comic Book and/or Action Figure Collection.
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5' 11"
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Not overly so.
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Depends on what's in the dark with me...
12. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHO WAS THE PERSON THAT MADE YOU CRY? When Obi-Wan Kenobi delivered Luke Skywalker to Tatooine. (Not all cries are bad cries, kids.)
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Curtains? Brown. Carpet? Neatly Trimmed.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Neither. I'm a freak, I know.
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Sasuage.
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? My wife.
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? Nope.
21. WHAT WAS THE MOST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? My replica of Anduril (the reforged sword) from Return of the King. It was the last Christmas gift my mom bought me and I received it after she passed away.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? Nope.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? I like my Marvel comics clothes. Does that count as a brand?
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Waffle and Blackjack.
27. WHAT KIND ARE THEY? Our two "outside" cats.
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? I only fall in love if I know they are leaving. In the morning, please don't say you love me, 'cause you know I'll only kick you out the door. I'll pay your cab fare home. You can even use my best cologne. Just don't be here in the morning when I wake up.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 56
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Brunettes.
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? Home or Amy's Cell.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Four times
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Todd McFarlane. Art Adams.
37. FIRST JOB? Real job: Reasor's Grocery
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? When I was a kid.
41. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? Getting my ass handed to me at the World Series of Poker video game.
40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? Nope. I'm awesome.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My enormous member. And yes, it is out in public enough to be complimented on.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A winning jackpot lottery ticket. Actually, I'd like that right now.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? I don't want the one's I have!!! ;-) Kidding, my three are fine.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Ryan's a pretty Irish name.
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Yeah, but wishing on Angelina Jolie just drew restraining orders.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Whatever my wife buys.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sure.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Bologna
52. ANY BAD HABITS? Chronic masturbation but is that really "bad"? I mean really, who's getting hurt in that situation?
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Who doesn't want to be friends with me? Seriously. GIVE ME NAMES, DAMMIT! Because they will GET IT when I find out!
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?. See #52. (Oh, no wait, that's shame.)
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE GAME AS A CHILD? Army.
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? 16. Yeah. I'm popular.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? As you can tell by these answers I am 100% forthright and honest in all my comments.
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed Potatoes
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? The Incredible Love Machine That Can Go All Night Long but the only one that calls me that is Luke and Aaron for some reason.
68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Scrubs, My Name is Earl, Prison Break, Lost
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? I have all of mine and several extras that I have claimed from hobos that I keep in jars filled with formaldahyde.
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM? I'm married so I don't really have a "your room." My computer is in the living room.
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT? See Question #18.
74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? 100 mph the day I got my license. (Thank you, Dee!)
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Wouldn't any answers be a disappointment after reading my ramblings?
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? "Diner" by Martin Sexton. (Trust me, kids, it is an awesome song.)
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Fresh tears produced by viciously clubbed baby seals. (It keeps me vigorous!)
78. LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED ON THE PHONE? Justin "The Dude" Burks.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Boobs. In truth, I notice little else.
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Hitler. Yeah, I'm gonna go with Hitler because I wouldn't want these answers to offend anyone.
82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? December
83. FAVORITE COUNTRY? U.S.A.
84. CANDY? Reese's Fastbreak.
85. FAVORITE VACATION? Tie between Orlando and Las Vegas.
86. FAVORITE EYE COLOR? No preference as long as they match.
87. FAVORITE SHOES? Those huge platform shoes that strippers wear. But I actually like what is in them more. Yeah, I'd rather just look at strippers.
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? Arby's
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? Goldies.
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? Never had it.
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Fastlane recorded on my DVR. I love technology.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? December 25th
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? I play a wicked awesome air guitar.
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Republicans suck and Democrats blow. Is there a third option?
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Lunch. (I was too embarassed to put "lap dance" on this thing. People might get the wrong idea.)
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader.
100. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE AT THE MOMENT? One? I've got dozens. And your time is almost up. Soon you will all pay for your actions! You'll live to regret what you did... but not for very long...........

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

So I have been lucky enough to sell not just one but two original comic book mini-series to my publisher Arcana Studios. After scrambling through the summer season at my 9-to-5 job, I have been pushing hard to get the series actually written. I had one of the six issues written [think of it like a pilot TV episode] and then had to actually write the other five issues once my editor okayed the series.
Since I am still fairly new to the comic industry, I wanted my series to be really tight and concise with no plotholes. This meant writing the majority of the series before we started the art. (As of this writing, I have about 75% of Issue #6 of the six-issue series completed and artwork on Issue #1 has started.)
Now, I have said many times that one of my favorite parts of the comic book process is getting those first batch of emails with artwork on them to see how the artist has translated my word into pictures.
Up until now, all my work has been commissions where I get a script and my editors (bosses) say, “Write about this.”
However, for the first time, I am seeing my vision transformed into pictures. My artist has sent me the first page of artwork. It is only five panels but I cannot express my feelings. It is just such an awesome sensation when I look at the art. I actually get giddy. Giddy!
For the first time, this is my story, my characters, my locations. So if this bad boy is terrible, it is all on me. But I have tremendous high hopes for the series. I can’t wait to share this story with my friends and family. (I’m no where near big enough yet to actually have fans.)

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

Ah, lazy Sundays… Ppshhaw! Lazy is the last way I would describe it. Okay, so I worked my shift at the store. After having the first Sunday in over a month that wasn’t soaked out by rain, I guess people didn’t want to spend the day shopping for groceries. It worked out for me because I got to leave early.
So I came home and submitted four comic book issues and two series overview files to my publisher and artist. That’s right kids, I’ve got my original series flying along big time.
And while I am working on these original projects, my previous commission is being developed by an artist named Gian Fernando who is a tremendous talent from the Phillipeens. This stage of the comic book game is the one that I like the best. It is the stage where the artist is sending in work and I get to see how my writing translated to the page.
Many times the artist pulls off really cool stuff or angles that just perfectly capture what you have in your head. It is probably why I love the comic industry so much because it is a collaborative, team effort but it is a relatively small team so very little is lost in translation.
As I am coming to the end of my two original project, I could not be happier regarding their outcome. Again, I wish I could disclose more details but I’m not certain what I can get away with legally. Give me a little more time and hopefully I will be able to share more details.
So with fighting the holiday madness and trying to get through two original projects has been pretty taxing. Still, I think I have amply stepped up to the plate and delivered a big home run.
Honest to goodness, I’ve spent time on my lunch hours choreographing fight scenes between a vampire and a vampire hunter and writing out descriptions of a fantasy arena for gladiators to fight in. Could I have a better job? Well except maybe an employee at the porn star bra and panties fitting salon but one step at a time.
While I was proofreading, people in the break room and were astonished to look at a fifty-page script and said, “You wrote all that?” One girl complimented me, saying it was amazing that my brain works the way it does—which I take as a huge compliment.
While it is not full time (yet), I thank goodness that I am finally working in an industry that is perfect for me.

More information soon.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

Top Ten Cool Things in My Life Right Now

10. My Blog. In August, I will have been keeping this blog for a year. Recently I made the decision to archive these entries on my hard drive which I will eventually print out. It is a neat little time capsule that reflects back on my life. It’s like a journal but cooler. If you don’t have one, get one.

09. Christmas Shopping. That’s right, losers. Christmas shopping for my wife is over. God bless overtime hours. Eat it, procrastinators. I am your antithesis. Fear and/or worship me!

08. My DVR. We recently upgraded our satellite package and now we have a DVR (Digital Video Recorder). I’ve quit watching live TV and now I can fast forward through commercials. Watch what I want when I want. Pause live TV if someone calls. Totally cool.

07. Darth Vader. I’m currently reading Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader which is the novel sequel to Episode III. It is a very unique look and insight into film’s greatest villain.

06. Breaking Benjamin. I’ve become a big fan of Breaking Benjamin. I think the singer has a good voice and the drummer is phenomenal. I haven’t liked a rock group this much since Puddle of Mudd. Check their music out, espeically Breath, Blow Me Away, and Here We Are.

05. Tomb Raider. When people are in miserable financial shape, it means selling off prized possessions at less than market value. And since I have no pride, I’m the perfect person to capitalize on said misery! (You show me a man with pride, I’ll show you a man with limited options.) Because of this I purchased an X-Box 360. The first game I purchased? Tomb Raider: Legends. And word around the campfire is that The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena is in the works for a fall release. I’m saving my money already!

04. Republic Commando. Since the X-Box 360 is backwards compatible, I now get to play all those cool games that came out for the X-Box… and play them at dirt cheap, used prices from Game Stop. My first X-Box game? Star Wars: Republic Commando! I also just got GTA: Vice City. Hey, it’s new to me!!!

03. Movie Season! While some have been disappointing (Spider-Man 3), others have lived up to the hype (Pirates of the Caribbean, Ocean’s 13) and some have exceeded expectations (Fantastic Four), I still have Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers, and the next Harry Potter to look forward to. Man, I love movies.

02. Working with Artists. Back in February, I was contracted to work on a comic book mini-series for Arcana Studios. [Details to be disclosed later.] I finished the scripts back in late March/early April and submitted them. In mid-April a very talented penciler named Gian Fernando (located in the Philippeens) was brought to the project and he has been working on the pencils. So I get pages via email every few days and it is exciting to see how the artist transforms my words into pictures. It is just very, very cool!

01. Working on Original Projects. While I have enjoyed the commission work, I have sold two original ideas to Arcana Studios. My first mini-series is about vampires. I submitted my first two (of five) issues to my publisher and my editor has given me Issues #3 & #4. Having just implimented these changes, I think the series is shaping up to be a real humdinger. I think this is going to be a real springboard to my career.
But not content to just sit idly by while waiting for edits, I have already moved on to my second original mini-series (this one about gladiators) that is going to be six issues long. I have started work on Issue #6. And it is shaping up to be a really great series. I can’t wait to tell you all more about it!!!

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Okay, so I am currently working in the produce department of a local grocery store to give us money while Amy is in school. It’s not a bad job. It’s not excessively hard work. It’s air-conditioned. I like the majority of my co-workers. I try not to think about the fact that this is the same place I worked in high school. I don’t want to fall into that trap of “I’m too good for this job but too lazy to go out and find a better one.” I know that I am out as soon as Amy gets a job and that will allow me to go back to writing full time. (More on that in the next blog!)
It is no secret (at least to me) that the grocery business is a young man’s game. And in a few more years, I will be bringing Alex and Jason to meet my man James to get them a job. So working in the place gives me a certain connection to the youth of today.
So I am working today with my guy Nolan. So we are lining up the apples and Dave (my boss) is working the fruit. And I’m yelling (if you can call it that) about how the apple overflow should always be to the right. It was kind of a “Laces OUT, Dan!” moment.
So Dave comments on how the rack should be a living breathing thing that can expand and contract, giving more space to items that sell more. To this I said, “Well I guess if you want anarchy and chaos to reign.”
Dave talked about how I clearly needed to having things neat and orderly.

To which I replied, “Yes. I would have made a great Stormtrooper. Or more accurate, Clone Trooper. And I mean the cool clone troopers. Not the guys from Episode II with the fin. I mean the 501st Troopers from Episode III. The guys with the bad ass helmets with the T-visors and the blue armor. Right, Nolan?”
To which Nolan says, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Of course, I am appaled by this and said, “You have seen Star Wars right?”
And he talks about how he saw them a long time ago.
I said, “A long time ago? Episode I came out in ’99?”
At which time Nolan would have been around eight-years-old.
Now, keep in mind, I’m only 32-years-old but, suddenly, I feel very… very… old.

Note: When I hit the lottery, along with a Vader costume, I will totally have 501st Clone Trooper costumes on manniquens standing guard at the entrance to my home theater. Maybe more than two. Maybe four or six... Oh yes. I will have them…

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

Well, for the last few years I have been working at a grocery store that serves as a gateway to the weekend destination spot for all the rich folks of the Green Country area of Oklahoma. It is a nightmare weekend where sales are through the roof. Which would be fine if the employees got profit sharing but instead it is a time where you basically bust tail for your entire shift and beyond. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to it. The paycheck will be nice but it is times like this where I really wish I could just work in comic books full time.
Summertime continues to fly by. I would have to do the math but I think it is safe to say the kids are probably past (or very close) to the halfway point of their vacation. And we are pretty darn close to the halfway point of the year. Where all has 2007 gone?
Despite the long hours and minimal pay of my 40-hour-a-week job, I have been still plugging away with my comic projects and I am hoping to complete more and more in July but a lot of that will be dependent upon my work schedule. My goal is use this blog as a showcase for the creative process and show how the workings of a writer’s mind. Maybe if I can get a few minutes of peace and quiet, I’ll get to work on that.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

There are many philosophers and theorists that state that life is a journey. The typical play on that is that life is a journey and not a destination. I tend to subscribe to this theory but I believe that life is like a highway. (Go ahead and sing some of the Tom Cochrane song lyrics.)
But as you travel down your highway of life, there are many off ramps and interchanges that can lead you in different directions. I think it is these forks in the road that you come to and you have to decide which road to go down.
I think it is human nature to look back on those choices and wonder which different direction your life could have taken. The three big choices that change your life probably come down to spouse, children, and career because these choices invariably have the biggest impact on your life or—in keeping with the metaphor—have the biggest interchanges. It is these three moments that you look back and wonder how your life could have been different.
Here very recently, I have been considering my career path. I feel that every person has a destiny. Typically this destiny is often associated with your career because, let’s face it, in American society—more often than not—you are what you do. I do not personally feel that this is the case.
I think that a person has to find their destiny and that is what brings them to happiness in their life. Unfortunately, no one can tell you what your destiny is. That is something that you have to discover for yourself.
However, there are the lucky few—that small percentage—that discover their destiny and are able to make a living at it. Those people are the truly happy. They don’t ask for vacation time. They don’t dread getting out of bed in the morning to go to their daily grind. No, they leap out of bed both happy and excited.
I am on my way to becoming one of the bed-leapers. Unfortunately, the paychecks from writing comic books are not substantial and frequent enough (yet) for me to become solely dependent upon them.
I currently have a full time job to pay the bills but I consider it my second job and writing is my first. And in the words of every bong-smoking hippie from the ‘70s, “What a long strange trip it has been.”
Remember how I said that life is a journey and decisions you make take you down one road instead of another. I like to think that writing comics was (and is) my destiny. In a way, I don’t like that word because it makes it sound like I didn’t have a choice. While the pull of writing has been impossibly strong (imagine it like the four-lane highway), there were many off ramps that I could have taken to take me off my path.
I think anyone who works in a creative endeavor often looks back on their lives and wonders about the choices that they make (both big and small) and wonder what might have been and what could have been.
I have turned down opportunities and offers and paths that could have lead me in a different direction but in the end, I think that pursuing my dream will make me happier and in the long run that makes me a better person.

Why is “Bra” singular and “Panties” plural?

So back a few years ago, I saw information about something called a Force FX Lightsaber. It is a scale replica of lightsabers used in the Star Wars movies that have fluorescent lights with motion and clashing sounds. They were pretty darn expensive but very, very cool.
Then when I saw the blades in action on a reality TV show, I really wanted to get one. I remember my mom telling me (in her infinite wisdom) that if I bought one, I would have to buy two so I could fight with someone. I gave her the pish tosh and said, “No, I just want the one to put on my desk.” The one I purchased was Mace Windu’s purple lightsaber from Episode II: Attack of the Clones. After I got it home, opened it up, put the batteries in and turned it on, I realized… Mom was right.
It has been a few years since that first purchase but in that time I have purchased Darth Vader’s from Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, two Darth Maul’s from Episode I: The Phantom Menace (which combine together to make the full 7’ double-bladed lightsaber, and I have my blue Obi-Wan Kenobi lightsaber from Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
There are rumors floating that they are supposed to make Qui-Gon Jinn’s green lightsaber from Episode I. I plan on purchasing that one and then I swear I am done. That will give me a purple, blue, green, and two (technically three) red lightsabers.
See, in bright daylight, it is very tough to tell that the blades are on. Fighting in total darkness is kind of rough because you cannot see your surroundings and the light of the blades tend to be somewhat blinding. But there is a magic hour between dusk and darkness where you can see the blades clearly and still see your opponent. Needless to say, the neighbors must just shake their heads when they see the boys and me out on the front lawn. Many epic battles have been fought in the front and side lawns. Yes, some have involved the trampoline. But now that we have two “good Jedi” lightsabers, we can have two Jedi knights fighting against a deadly Sith Lord. And I need both of my double blades of the Darth Maul to defend against their relentless assault.
I’ve tried to get Amy to fight me but she considers it juvenile. Wimmens. So I’m off to fight yet another battle. Bothan spies have delivered secret information that a rogue Sith Lord is lurking in the Bantha pasture fields of the planet Adaira and the noble Jedi Knight Al-Ex Foelee and his skilled padawan Jay-Sunn have been sent by the Jedi Council to dispatch this dark lord…

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

It is funny. I went out last night with an old friend to have a few beers (I’m getting old, kids!) but that was the first time I had been out in a long time. Even though I am a bit a of a homebody to begin with, even our weekly poker games or just getting together to do nothing with my friends has begun to slowly fade away as I get older.

Also, last weekend, Amy’s 1994 high school graduating class held a thirteen-year reunion. (They failed to have a 10-year reunion because of an unmotivated class president.) Amy was integral in the reunion and used a lot of contacts through MySpace to organize it. This has caused me to think back to my old high school days.

Way back when, my mom told me that your spouse should be your best friend because more often than not, that is the person you spend the most time with. Here lately, I have been spending too much time at work but aside from that time, Amy is the person I spend most of my time with.
Now don’t get me wrong, Amy is the person I would most like to spend time with any way but there are times when I wish it could be different. I sometimes think it is unfair that life pulls all of us in different directions. Maybe if I could hit that big lottery things would change. But until then, I sometimes wish there could be some driving force that could get all of my old friends back together. Or even maintain regular contact.

Well, like Dandy Don Meredith used to say, “If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Christmas.”

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

You know I look at some people’s blogs and they update them daily. Man, I wish I had that much time on my hands!!!
Things have been busy for me lately but I want to consider that a good thing. Overtime means more money and this has been a heckuva couple o’ months! Aside from having to purchase a new van for Amy and working more than forty hours a week at my regular 9-to-5 job, I’m still trying to put together a comic career over here!
But news on that front is the best it has ever been. I have finished my last commissioned assignment and I am currently writing two original series. That’s right, kids. While I have been slogging through commissions and working with other people’s ideas, my publisher is showing enough faith in me to give me a shot at a few original series.
And I don’t want to sound like I am tooting my own horn but I think I have come p with two pretty impressive stories for my first outing. Time will tell but I wanted to let everyone know why I haven’t been updating my blog as regularly as I normally do.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Okay, so I will admit that self-deprecating humor is kind of my bread and butter. The other day, Amy and I are watching TV and there is a commercial for AllTel with their blonde spokesperson Chad being hauled into a van by his cell phone rivals.
After some conversation, Chad asks the guy in the yellow shirt, “What level Dungeon Master are you?”
I narrowed my eyes and was a split second away from saying “DMs don’t have levels.”
But before I could speak, the yellow shirt guy (I think he might be Sprint) scoffs at him and says, “Dungeon Masters don’t have levels… Dork.”
At this comment, my wife bursts into hysterical laughter and looks over at me…It’s not easy being a geek but somehow, I manage…

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

I think I've talked about this before but in case you forgot...

I went to the theaters to watch Deja Vu starring Denzel Washington. It is coming out on DVD this Tuesday (the 24th). I got a sneak peek at the DVD and I was reminded just how GREAT this movie is. It is one of the best I have seen in a long time. I highly recommend it. While you are there, rent Smokin' Aces while you are at it.

Who says I don't give good movie rental advice?

RMF Enterprises Bares Fangs

Writer to release 5-issue original mini-series through Arcana Studios.

For several years I have been pursuing a career in writing… It has been a long slog. I’ve fought. I’ve clawed. Joe Quesada at Marvel has rejected me more times than I care to count. Top Cow and Wildstorm said “No.” And then there were the dark times where I received no rejection, just flat out no response at all.

I’ve received letters of praise from people like Wildstorm Editor Drew Bittner and artist Tim Seely that kept me motivated. I turned a major corner when I was hired to write my first issue of Masters of the Universe. And while I have been working on several projects since my first publication, I have just turned a major corner.

I have sold my first original mini-series.

While details are still being kept confidential, I can confirm that Arcana Studios has purchased my 5-issue original mini-series entitled Midnight to Daylight, a short series revolving around the mysterious and romantic world of the vampire.

For this particular series, I will be working with two artists that have yet to be hired but the contributions will result in a tremendously fast release schedule.

More information will be available as I learn it. Right now I have too much work to do. But this event is the biggest event in comics to happen to me since getting my first assignment.

More soon…

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

On Friday, April 20th, Amy and I are going to celebrate our ten-year wedding anniversary. At times, I often have to wonder what I have done or what blessed constellation I was born under to have found a woman that would put up with me for an entire decade as husband and wife.
Now, I know, you are saying to yourself, “Ryan, what are you talking about?” I know. I know. After all, I am a sexy beast. Who needs your pretty boys like Brad Pitt and George Clooney when you can have an overweight, balding man with an addiction to comic books, collects action figures, and has unquenchable thirst to write “the funny books.” Six pack abs and a six-figure salary? Ppshaw! I have like a 200-issue run of Captain America, a complete run of Spawn with Issue #1 autographed by Todd McFarlane, a massive DVD and Music Soundtrack set, and a massive Marvel Legends action figure collection… Now, that is a dowry!
Still, being married with children and facing a few hurdles financially, it is hard for us to properly celebrate our big two-digit anniversary with a night on the town or renting out a honeymoon suite. I have come to accept this and as long as we are together, that is really all that matters.
My mom always used to tell me that you have to make sure that your wife is your best friend because at times it is just the two of you. As my life continues to stretch on and people get pulled in various directions (family, career, etc.), at times I do find my family become more and more isolated. This causes Amy and I to lean on each other even more. There have been hills and valleys in my life and Amy has been there for all of them. I know that the bad times helps us appreciate the good times and because of all of this, I can honestly say that I am more in love with her now that I was when we were married.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Where were you when Captain America died?
It’s true, people. Steve Rogers—the heroic Captain America—was gunned down by a sniper’s bullet in Captain America #25.
Death in comics has become cliché at times. The cardinal rule in comics is that only Bucky stays dead. Marvel broke that rule awhile back revealing that Cap’s sidekick—thought killed in WWII—was actually the Winter Soldier. So maybe it should be only Uncle Ben stays dead…
Still, I have read several deaths in comics. Marvel Girl. Superman. Hawkeye.
But to have Cap killed after surrendering to end Marvel’s Civil War and learn about it on the Channel 8 evening news… yeah, it came as a shocker. Marvel did a good job keeping this one under the radar. I don’t think anyone saw it coming.
I’m not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing but I find it curious how these fictional characters can move us emotionally. Be it Cap, Mr. Eko, Apollo Creed, Dumbledore…
Strange.
Still, I find it hard to believe that Cap is gone forever. The question right now is how will his book continue with the main character dead but it certainly makes for interesting reading. I’m sure it may take a few years and then Steve Rogers will return to his rightful mantle but until then, you still miss Big Blue.

So, until then, permission to stand down, soldier. Permission to stand down…

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

So here lately I have been burning the candle at both ends… with a blowtorch… on the sun. The sheer amount of work I have been doing has kept me from a lot of my updates but I’m hoping to change that soon.

The Family: We recently had the kids transfer schools. It was not an easy decision (and certainly not a convenient one) but it is better for the kids. The school they are at only goes to 8th grade and then they will switch back to Adair but for now, it was the best move.
Amy is going back to work for three months at the Tulsa County DA’s office to help them out and snag some quick cash while waiting to get accepted into her nursing program. She has been on the waiting list long enough and I am hoping that her school will start soon. But we are planning on using her paychecks to eliminate one of the credit cards so I am all for it. Woo-hoo! We'll be a dual income family... for a few months at least.

Work: I continue to work to support the family full time but I am also working a ton on my writing career, which has left me exhausted at times. Still, these are problems that love to meet head on. I would rather have too much work than none at all.
I have turned a corner with my career in comics and I am a stone’s throw away from getting my own original mini-series. Let me type that again. My own original mini-series!!!
Up until now I have been working on other people’s projects. Some projects I have liked, others not so much, but I have been paying my dues and now I think it is time that I move on to an original RMF concept. It would be a huge step in the right direction for my career if I could pull this feat off. Time will tell.

So, needless to say, things are going really well. I’m busting butt to get things in order before the summer season hits and things start to get really busy.

More soon!