A Look into the Creative Process…

“Writer’s are, let’s face facts, a small, sometimes sickly, bunch who do their work in the dark surrounded by Simpsons action figures and only the occasional hours of Wii and Guitar Hero for any kind of break…”
Jon Stewart
The Daily Show
January 7th 2008

So I have discovered something quite strange recently regarding the creative process. J. Michael Straczynski once said (and I’m paraphrasing here) that once you decide to become a writer, you are screwed. And the reason why is because you will see a great movie and think, “Will I ever write something this good?” And you will see bad movies and think, “This is getting made but my stuff sits on a shelf?”
And in my time spent as a full time father, I discovered that in a job such as that, there is never a day off. You are constantly on the clock.
I have recently discovered that with my writing, the wheels are always turning. I think about it during my 9-to-5 job. I think about it while driving in the car. It seems like I am always on the clock, turning over scenes, generating dialogue and thinking about my next project.
But to quote another old adage, you can’t squeeze blood from a stone. A few weeks ago, I was under a deadline that I was terrified of. I was always telling myself, “Let’s write one more page” or “Let’s do one more panel.” And to make sure that I stayed on track, I denied myself a lot of distracting elements. The most notable of this was unplugging my XBOX 360. (Damn Lara Croft and her adventures into ancient crypts!)
But then I discovered something. Writing is not like working a 9-to-5 job. I attempted it on one of my days off from my regular job and after six hours, my brain turned into pudding. I felt like I had just taken the ACTs.
As it turns out, those turns at the XBOX or watching an episode of My Name is Earl is important. You have to take breaks. I think this why progressive and artistic companies like PIXAR have paper airplane flying contests or some companies have pool tables and video game machines in their break rooms.
When it comes to creative jobs, you need stuff like that.
The difference is my XBOX is not a distraction. It recharges my batteries. But this is also why I will be writing at six in the morning and at nine o’clock at night. The pull of that keyboard is way too strong.
Reading a good comic or a book only makes me want to write. It makes we want to do what they are doing. So half an hour spent playing Assassin’s Creed actually brings me back to the computer better and stronger.
And even if that means being on the clock seven days, strangely, I don’t seem to mind.
I guess that is the truest sign of having a job that you love…

Living by the Sword…

There is an old expression that states, “You live by the sword, you die by the sword.” It is an old adage that basically means that you must live and die by the decisions that you make. At the basic core, it means that a person must be responsible for their actions. I have never understood people who have lamented about the hand that life has dealt them. Some people act like the world owes them a living or that fate has somehow given them their crappy life.
I feel that life is what you make it.
Decisions come along in your life and you can look back and say, “This is the decision that took me on my path.” And it is that choice and that decision that you can look back on and often wonder where your life might have gone had taken a different road. If you taken the blue pill instead of the red one. If you had taken what was behind Door #2 instead of what was in the box. Damn you, Monty Hall.
My dad lived a life as a fantastic salesman for various companies after leaving the United States Air Force. And, as business was back in those days, we went where the money was. Which meant I moved from Tulsa to Indianapolis to Charlotte and later to settle in Adair, Oklahoma as part of those business deals. We went where the money and the opportunity was. But in making those choices, we sacrificed certain things—most notably connection with family.
See, my family is scattered across the country with some family in Oklahoma but others are located in Virginia, California, Montana, Texas and I think I have some family in Florida. However, I have barely met the majority of my family.
Then we move to Adair, Oklahoma. In this area, many families stay incredibly close with one another and most family is within quick driving distance. This is an area where cousins are everywhere. It was a bit of a culture shock for me when we first moved here.
However, I know that this is where I was meant to be. I accepted Adair and Northeastern Oklahoma whole-heartedly and with the exception of a small stint down in Dallas to go to school, this is where I have lived and will continue to live for the rest of my life. Even if Amy and I won the lottery tomorrow, we would probably build our dream house right next to our current house.
For me it was an easy decision.
Other decisions are not so easy.
After a greatly successful career in sales selling ice to Eskimos, my dad was given an opportunity to go back into a career with the military, training kids how to fly planes in giant simulators that are the equivalent to multimillion-dollar video game machines. However, to do this, he would have to travel to the opposite corner of the state, which meant a separation from me in Adair.
I was pretty bummed about this, as is to be expected, as my mom and dad moved down to Altus, Oklahoma, which is a good six-hour drive. So, I was a tad upset that my parents left my area but during my trip down to see my dad, my whole perspective changed.
He walked with such confidence as he took me to where he worked. He was in his element. This is what he was put on this earth to do. This was his calling and even more so, he was good at it. No, he’s great at his job.
And on my way back home, I had a sudden epiphany. Who was I to selfishly ask my dad to stay in my area when he had a chance to be in his element and truly enjoy his job? Would I love for him to work in the Tulsa area? Sure, I wish there could have been an Air Force base in Tulsa. But this is how life goes some times.
(Maybe this is why I am so happy that my dream-job—writing comics—allows me to stay here in my low-cost-of-living-Adair and email my scripts to my publishers!)
So while I continued to live my life here in Adair, my mom would eventually move to Sallisaw to oversee the construction of their retirement house. She would finish construction right about the time it was time for Dad to retire. He would move up to Sallisaw and eventually, “Veranda” would become a vacation destination. When my kids got older, they would go down to stay with Grandma and Granddaddy for a week of boats and sea-doos and swimming.
Sure the distance (an hour and half) was a little too long for me but who was I to tell them where to build their house when they were clearly in love with Lake Kerr? And on my few trips down there, I have to admit, it was a tremendous property filled with tranquility. It was a little slice of paradise for my parents.
But certain financial arrangements came along. Dad was making incredible money and the decision was made for dad to continue working and not retire as early as he thought. And clearly, Mom wanted to be with her husband, so the plan was for them to secure Veranda with an alarm system and have Mom move back down to Altus at the end of 2005 until they made their triumphant return to Lake Kerr.
And then my mom got sick…
And this is where the decisions of life come into play. My mom was in terrible pain in October of 2005 and she was forced to move early down to Altus because she could no longer take care of herself.
In mid-November, she was diagnosed with cancer.
On December 28th, she passed away from the illness.
Because of this distance, I was unable to be with my mother during her darkest hour. Too many things were stacked against me. I had to work. My kids were in school. Kids weren’t allowed in the progressive care unit where she was placed. There was the incredible distance. And then there was the small matter of the fact that I refuse to be in the same room with my sister.
So I had to settle for phone calls. Sure I would have liked to have video conferencing and all that but no sense crying about spilled milk.
And with all illnesses of this nature, we didn’t know how much time she had. Initial bouts of dementia were masked as reaction to her pain medication. And then like that… she was gone.
Strangely though, I have never considered my decisions as a source of grief for me. The only one that I look back on with regret is that I let an argument with my sister slightly influence my decision to be with my mom. I regretted that fact because that was the one part of the equation that I could have actually controlled.
Still, I have never wandered about the moors at night crying about how life treated me unfairly and robbed me of my final conversation with my mom.
These were the decision that my family and I had made. And I live by those decisions. How can we live otherwise?
When I write all this out, it seems perfectly logical to me. However, some people don’t seem to share my view.
Some people just decide to live differently I guess.
I pity those people.

Happy New Year! Welcome 2008!

I hope everyone has had a good holiday. As with every New Year, we are offered a chance for a fresh start and new beginnings. I am planning on continuing my plan from 2007 by cultivating the seeds of success that I have been nurturing for the past few years.
Amy and I have been steadily working towards a plan to give us financial security and that plan is finally moving quickly towards fruition. We are taking big strides this year. Amy is beginning her nursing program and I have half-a-dozen books in production with Arcana Studios. Now the plan is to turn those books into financial and personal successes.
I hope everyone faces the New Year with hope and joy. Here is a little wish to hope that you have a great 2008!!!