Hating the Retarted (a.k.a. Public Perception and You)

In my 9-to-5 job, I must suffer through Musak. Now, sometimes, it is pretty good music. I will give credit where credit is due. Just the other day I did hear “Can’t You See” by the Marshall Tucker Band, which is a great song. I have heard a wide variety of music including things like classic rock, the occasional modern rock, and even a few pop songs that are pretty good. Unfortunately, there is a yang to the yin, and this takes the form of knock-kneed yee-haw country. And an unfortunate music form that is the major source of the topic of this blog. But like every master storyteller, let’s not take you there directly.
Let’s say that you work with a person that is mentally challenged. For the sake of the story, let’s call him Clarence. Now, Clarence is an employee with a penchant for giving fellow male employees a “How-do-you-do.” This is where a person makes the “thumbs up” gesture and proceeds to stealth up behind you and rakes his extended thumb from the bottom of your butt crack to the small of your back, particularly when you are bent over working in a compromising position. I am not certain if this term is featured at UrbanDictionary.com but if not, you heard it here first. TM and Patent Pending.
Now, you don’t hate Clarence because he is retarted. You hate him because of the constantly invasive How-do-you-dos. You hate him in spite of his retardation, not because of it. You can’t hate someone because of a condition they are born with (skin color, nose size, hair color, etc.) because they cannot control that aspect of their life. But a person who gives you the aforementioned rude gesture is doing it of his or her own free will. And this you CAN hate them for.
And yet, if you are in the breakroom, having suffered one of Clarence’s indignations previously in the day, you cannot say, “I hate that Clarence guy” without some sort of preamble. Because if you do, people will automatically think you hate the mentally challenged.
Now, I present this scenario to prove a point.
I HATE Christian music.
Now, if I just would have started this blog with that sentence, the snap decision people make without reading more of the blog is that I am some form of atheist or, even worse, a God hater and the death threats and hateful emails would have started directly. But allow me to explain.
In Hollywood, no one wants to be first and everyone wants to be second. Batman & Robin became a colossal joke and super hero movies stood on a precipice. Thankfully, someone was brave enough to say, “Let’s make a Rated-R super hero movie.” Film executives were skeptical. Wary. But then Blade turned in fat bank. The door was open to create thoughtful, character driven stories that didn’t have to involve day-glow street thugs fighting a Batmobile that stupidly drove up walls. Blade gives rise to X-Men. X-Men gives rise to Spider-Man. Spider-Man gives rise to Iron Man. And the list goes on. Spider-Man causes a rethinking of the DC franchises and we get Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. We get to see Heath Ledger as The Joker. The world rejoices and studios make a profit.
I think that the music industry has to follow a similar formula and, clearly, somewhere during the secret cabal meetings that forward the progress of our country, there was a meeting of brand merchandising between various record companies and the religious leaders. And the leaders of these two organizations must have decided that Christian music needs to follow the same sappy and wuss-dog formula of the first Christian singer to really make it big – whoever that shlub is.
Now, if you look at the message of Jesus, it is my understanding that all his teachings basically boiled down to one message. “Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes.” Wait. That might have been Abe Lincoln in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure… But the basic tenant was: Love one another. Be a good person. Live a good life.
Now, I am not adverse to music that teaches this maxim. Nickelback has a song that is really popular right now called “If Today Was Your Last Day.” It is a great song with a message that basically says to love one another. Be a good person. Live a good life. And I love that song. The message is great.
Go against the grain. You can’t turn back time. You can’t live twice. Forgive your enemies. And what I think is the best line in the song, “Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?”
See? Now that is a song I can get behind and they are basically saying everything that I think Jesus would say if he were around today. They are promoting a lifestyle that God would look upon and smile. And it also happens to have great music and kick ass drums… It is just a great song…
But then there are all these songs sung by people with no balls who whine about how much they love God and I just cannot stand it. It is wuss rock. And I don’t hate it because it is about God. I hate it because they all follow the same “No Testicular Fortitude Formula.” And yet, if I start a conversation with “Man, I hate Christian music,” I would be perceived by most as Anti-God or some type of atheist.
This is the conundrum. How can you detest Retarted Clarence without being perceived as a jerk yourself? How can you hate Christian music without seeming Anti-Christian? This is a question I have been wondering about and so it makes it into my blog.
Man, I need to get back to talkin’ about comic books or video games. All this thinking makes my head hurt… So if you will excuse me, I am going to follow some good advice and make my mark by mending a broken heart. Ladies, call for your appointment. It’s $500 for the hour or $2K for the whole night. Just leave Retarded Clarence at home. I hate that guy…

A Message of Hope & Change

In my previous post, I wondered if Michael Jackson would be remembered as a hero or a villain. Given how the jokes are circulating and the massive amount of media attention, I am still uncertain if he will be remembered.
However, the Disney film Atlantis: The Lost Empire, there is a fantastic line that Preston Whitmore has when he says, “Our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children.” Jackson gave several gifts to the world and the question is if those gifts will be outshined by the controversy and scandals that seemed to surround him.
Without getting into any of the scandals, please consider the following lyrics from two of his songs:
From Man in the Mirror
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

From Black or White
I am tired of this devil, I am tired of this stuff
I am tired of this business, so when the going gets rough
I ain't scared of your brother
I ain't scared of no sheets
I ain't scared of nobody…

Protection for gangs, clubs, and nations
Causing grief in human relations
It's a turf war, on a global scale
I'd rather hear both sides of the tale
See, it's not about races, just places, faces
Where your blood comes from is where your space is
I've seen the bright get duller
I'm not going to spend my life being a color

Not gonna spend my life being a color. I’m don’t consider myself white. I’m American. And even more than that, I consider myself a human being. More people should quantify themselves as such.
So, again, whether you are a fan of Michael Jackson or not is kind of inconsequential. Read the message in the lyrics listed above and you cannot help but embrace what he is saying. He sung about making the world a better place and standing up against racism. And not how he said he is not afraid of “brothers” and “sheets.” He was taking on both sides of the aisle… and I think that is something special.
I was listening to those two songs over the last couple of days and my oldest son asked if he could have them on his MP3 Player. I was proud to put that music on there. It is a message that more kids need. Say what you will, the man broke down barriers. And oh yeah, if you play Beat It on Guitar Hero, remember that the guy laying the licks on the lead guitar was Eddie Van Halen. And the do shredding on the guitar in Black or White is the heaviest of heavy guitar players. It’s Slash from Guns & Roses and Velvet Revolver…
Say what you will about the man but you can consider Jackson a symbol and I hope the message of that symbol far outlasts the legacy that was mired in scandal. Just my two cents…

Hero or Villain?

I believe it was P.T. Barnum that says something along the lines of: “You can say whatever you want about me in the paper as long as you spell my name right.” The adaptation of that is that any press is good press… I have read books where people say that you should do things to keep you in the spotlight – even if it is controversial. Nowhere is this more evident than in the NFL. “Broadway” Joe Willie Namath, Terrell Owens, Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson, and Brett Favre are classic examples.
But I often wonder if Mr. Barnum could even spin something as horrific and damaging as the accusations of child molestation.
And, of course, I bring this up because of the proclaimed “King of Pop” and the death of Michael Jackson. I was born in 1974. As a kid, at the time of the release of the Thriller album (yes, I had the old vinyl 33 rpm record), there was no bigger star in the world. Michael Jackson. Man, everyone had that record. Everyone did the dance moves (or tried to). He was the biggest thing in the world.
And back when he was normal, everyone loved him… then he seemed to go a little… well… Okay, I’ll say it. No need to tap dance on a grave. The guy went crazy. With that much fame and wealth, maybe we all go crazy. There was a reason the tabloids called him “Wacko Jacko.”
But you have to go back. Remember the times when he was normal and black and putting out great music. But then the sales started to dip, interest waned… There was all the plastic surgery, the baby dangling incident… and then the allegations of child molestation. I know he was acquitted in a court of law but if you are paying $15 Million of hush money to a family (according to ABC News), there was something pretty bad…
So all of this begs the question? How will this artist be remembered? Will anyone remember him for great songs like Man in the Mirror, Billie Jean, or Black & White?
I guess only time will tell. I got my first text joke at about 10 o’clock the night of his death, which was about six hours after his death. The media frenzy and how fast information travels is amazing these days.
There is an adage that the second a person dies they immediately become a saint. This is because you forget about all the bad things they did or the arguments that you had because there is no way to ever make amends with them. But there are some wrongs that cannot be righted. How will he be remembered? Will the stigma of that child molestation mar a once brilliant career? Did it really happen? Who knows? There was a time where Jackson was one of the most famous people in the world and now I am curious to see how the world will remember.

Living Outside Your Comfort Zone…

Several years ago, Amy and I came up with a plan. I would go back to work while she attended college to get a degree in Nursing. People are not going to quit getting sick and nurses are always in demand. Now, even further back, Amy went to work at the Tulsa County DA’s Office while I became a full time dad. So when she wanted to make the change, I had to go back to work. I was five years out of the employment business and my skills amounted to experience in the grocery industry and the video store industry – you know real titans of financial independence. But we figured we would live a little light, struggle for a little while, and come out better in the end. (There is a joke in there about coming better in the end but I am not going to make it. I am way too classy for that vulgar humor.) So I went back to work at the grocery store that gave me a job when I was 17.
So now, the day is here. Amy is working for a nursing agency. The pro to this is that she makes more than twice what I make an hour. The con is that shifts may be few and far between. If you are making $100 an hour, it doesn’t do any good if you only work half an hour a week. But, as I predicted long ago, Amy is doing well in her nursing.
Staff is requesting her help. “We want Amy to work over here!” At one point, an established pro could not believe that this was not only her first job but also only her second shift. So now, she is doing well. There is still that lingering fear that the agency is going to quit calling but after doing this for a few weeks, I think that fear is becoming unfounded…
So, I have cut back to part time work at the grocery store. We have Fourth of July coming up. For a grocery store on the lake, it is the busiest week of the year. So, here is the thing. I hate my job but I love the people I work with. I hate that I make nightmarish amounts of money for a company that pays me peanuts. My comic book assignments are what really make me happy. Yet, I fear letting go of this job, regardless of how crappy it is. Perhaps it is all this economic uncertainty looming around everyone like a specter of doom.
I have cut back to part time and there is an option after the holiday to possibly just cut back to two days a week. I may love the place if I am only there two days a week. So, in theory, I work at the 9-to-5 two days a week and write the other five days out of the week. That would not be too bad a situation. Get me out of the house, keep me active, let me have conversations with real adults… and yet, I despise the upper levels of management (the suits). The money is not fantastic. The insurance sucks. Maybe I should just quit all together… But I love my boss. Most of the co-workers are all pretty cool. I make some side money here and there. I wouldn’t have to go to Amy for cash to buy my action figures…Needless to say, it is a question that I am having difficulty answering and this is an aspect that has been consuming my life – which means it makes it into the blog. Anyone have any advice? I’ll keep you posted…

Flexing Your Muscles as an Artist… and I am RIPPED!

As mentioned in my last entry, my first book STOLEN HEARTS: THE LOVE OF EROS & PSYCHE has been published through Campfire, which opens the door for me to talk about what I have been doing behind the scenes for the last year or so.

You can find the book at the following link:
http://www.campfire.co.in/Books.aspx?catid=3

Here a while back, I got hooked in through a comic contact with a company that would eventually become known as Campfire. They are an outfit based out of India looking to break into the educational comic market.
In the first trial run with the company, I adapted a literary classic for them that is going to be published soon. It was a feeling out period for both of us. I was a relatively unknown writer with only a few credits to my name and they were a brand new company I knew nothing about. I am sure they were afraid that I was going to stink as a writer and I was uncertain if they were going to be a fly-by-night operation that might not pay me. (They are based in India and that makes legal recourse really difficult.)
So after that first book, I think the editors realized they had something special. I say this not to brag or anything but I have been screaming inside about taking the comic book industry by storm. Writing comics is what I am supposed to be doing and Campfire has provided me with the largest outlet to do that in my career so far.
And how did I know that they liked me? Because they came back saying, “What do you want to do next?” I kind of shrugged my shoulders and said, “Mythology?” I had always been fascinated with Greek mythology and thought that could be a fairly large avenue for me to conquer. So when they came back with the thumbs up, I suddenly had to scramble to start relearning everything.
Again, time schedules and artist work can be delayed for various reasons so strangely enough, STOLEN HEARTS is my third story for Campfire but it is the first one published. Don’t worry, it just means more stories are coming and my output is going to look insane.
When I first approached my editors about the story, I had just come off a real adrenaline-fueled, hack-and-slash warrior action story with sword fights and monsters. I remember several years ago, I met comic superstar artist Michael Turner at a comic book convention. (He died a while back. Huge loss. Rest well, brother.) I was a budding artist at the time. I remember how he talked about setting a scene for a book in a place with a lot of curtains and drapes because he couldn’t draw them. At the time, I thought, “Why would you intentionally draw something for publication that you can’t draw?” But I understand it now. He wanted to flex his muscles.
My writing for all my comic projects to this point had been action and swords and monsters and magic. Guy stuff. And when I went to go speak at Osage Elementary about writing comics and Greek mythology, girls outnumbered the boys.
Granted, comic books and video games are largely a male dominated field. I think as many girls read Harry Potter as boys. But one girl asked me if there were “girl comics” and that was when I knew that this story would work.
So I flexed my muscles. I wanted to grow as a writer (and as an artist). I wanted to grow as a storyteller. So I thought, why not do a romance? Luckily, Campfire was willing to take the plunge and the result is the book STOLEN HEARTS: THE LOVE OF EROS & PSYCHE… on bookshelves now! (I know it’s a cheap pop. Sue me, my last name is Foley.)
While I am nightmarishly out of shape physically, my storytelling muscles were blasted with cardio with this story and I think I came out quite well. It is a definite departure from the norm for me but I feel it is a wonderful story.
The company did a whole one-page blurb for me in the “About the Author” section. (Personally, I think they should have split the info between the artist and me because we are a team.) But in that section, they mention the forthcoming books for Heracles, Perseus and Theseus. Which pretty much means the cat is out of the bag for those titles. Hopefully I will learn more soon about their release dates.
STOLEN HEARTS is a story that I am tremendously proud of. It is not “my” story. It is a tale over 3000 years old but I feel like I have put my own unique spin on the tale. Nothing was changed from the story. There are no time-traveling cyborgs or lightsabers in it and He-Man doesn’t make an appearance… although that would have been AWESOME! But I feel that the way I have presented the story is very unique. As strange as it sounds, this one is for all the fourteen-year-old girls out there but I certainly hope that everyone enjoys it and comes back for more.
All value-degrading autographs on the book are always complimentary.

Coming Back to Reclaim the Throne of Internet Geek King

Fooos. Fooosh. That sound you hear is me blowing the dust off my blog. I know. It is has been a little while and all my fans (both of you) are probably wondering what has become of their master of all things geektastic. Admittedly, I have been away far too long. The MySpace page has suffered from even worse lack of attention. Let me break down the most important (and time consuming) events that have kept me away.

SCRIPT COMPLETED! My editors commissioned me for the largest script so far with a whopping total of 150-pages. Your average comic book is 22 pages, so this is almost like doing a seven-issue mini-series. (Technically it would be a 6.81 issue mini-series but who is counting? I know, me.) Also, keep in mind that at this time, I was also working full time and trying to survive the Memorial Day holiday at work. (This is the second busiest holiday of the year.)

BOOK PUBLISHED! Because of the nature of the beast, I complete written scripts much faster than an artist can draw one. I say this not to brag because I am just the monkey sitting at the keyboard. The artists are the ones with the real talent. What they have to do is hard work. So, it takes a bit longer for the art and coloring and lettering and such to come along. However, Campfire has officially released my first book called Stolen Hearts. Don’t worry; a momentous event like this is going to get its own entry…

MY LITTLE PRETTY NURSE: Back in May, Amy completed her school and passed the certification exam to gain her LPN license. She is currently searching for a job. She has done a few shifts for agencies but the work is not steady enough yet. Granted, she pulled a double shift yesterday (from 10 p.m. to 2 p.m.) and made more money that I make in a 5-day workweek at my 9-to-5. But if you only get one shift a week, it makes paying the bills tough. So she has interviews with two places for slightly less money but steady work with an actual schedule. And this bonus money has set us up to completely pay off one credit card.

“I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER”: All these factors come together to create one big plan. Allow me to explain. I make considerably more money writing comics than I do working at my 9-to-5 but the money was unreliable. Car companies don’t really like hearing, “Hey, I’ll pay you when I get paid.” They would rather have their money on the set pay date.
But once Amy starts getting her weekly paycheck, the plan is for me to quit my 9-to-5 (or possibly scale back to a minimal part time – two days a week at the most) and begin writing comics full time. Amy uses her paycheck to pay the bills and I use my income for massive projects like paying off credit cards and maybe the cars if there is enough work throughout the year.
Then, once we go debt free, we start saving to build a house. And the plan is to live as we have been living – modestly – and save up to put down a massive down payment. Suddenly, that plan seems within grasp…