Star Wars: In Concert

I know this blog is a tad late. Bear with me. So, back in October (on Amy’s birthday), we took the boys to attend Star Wars: In Concert. You can read about it by clicking the link. I say that we took the boys but this was just as much for me as it was for them. Before you send any hate mail asking why we didn’t take Lauren, it is because she is six and can’t stand the noise of a elementary basketball game, much less a concert…
If you know me, then you know how passionate I am about original music scores. I listen to them all the time when I am writing because I find lyrics distracting. And, well, you don’t get much better than the music from Star Wars.
This was my first trip to the brand new BOK Center. Extremely impressive, by the way. They had props from the films that you could see and take your picture with. It was a really cool event.
So, we had fifth row seats. (Yes, we spent way too much money on tickets.) And I was just a few dozen feet away from Anthony Daniels who played C-3PO in the movies. He was the narrator of the event.
The music was everything I expected it to be. The show was flawless. There was a massive orchestra with a full choir. Laser lights. Pyrotechnics that blasted us out of the seats. Everything was really cool.
I think the biggest pops where when they did footage of Vader and Yoda. Han Solo and Princess Leia got pretty resounding cheers.
Anthony Daniels was very funny and a wonderful storyteller. They had a recorded message from James Earl Jones (the voice of Darth Vader) to introduce him. Did I mention it was really cool?
We got Daniels and the conductor to come back out three times because of the standing ovation… and we got an encore of the Imperial Theme.
Now, admittedly, I am a pretty big geek. I don’t think that is a secret. But to be married to a person that embraces my geekiness and will go to a Star Wars concert with me is pretty special. And to have two boys that like Star Wars as much as I do, well that is just taking them down the right path in life.
It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime event and I could not be happier to be a part of it….

Rage As A Fuel

Imagine if you will two different scenarios, both involving Knights and Dragons. In the first scenario, a brave and valiant knight is charging into the lair of a dragon to rescue his princess who has been kidnapped and is being held hostage. In the second scenario, imagine the same knight charging into to fight the same dragon. Except his princess has not been captured… she has been killed.
Ask yourself. Who would you rather fight?
I would chose the first knight any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Because depending on the love of the princess, that second knight has nothing to lose and may even welcome death. That makes them a more difficult opponent because they take greater risks to win. That second knight will be hungrier than the first. He will not stop. Nor will he yield, relent or… ahhhh, only two synonyms? I’m losing my perspicacity!
As an alternative scenario, take if you will Darth Vader. Vader is one of the best bad guys in history and people might associate him with evil because he is a bad guy. It is not true. Vader is not evil. Vader is rage. He is someone that has been completely consumed by his rage.
If you want a more chickified version of it, there is a scene in Double Jeopardy where Ashley Judd is out running in the a prison yard in the rain and her two cellies look at her and one says something along the lines of, “That girl is running on pure hate.”
I think three examples are probably enough. Anyway, my dad often tells me that harboring hate is bad for the soul. It is something that can destroy you. And I think for the most part, in most instances, this can be true. But remember the knight from the first scenario? Rage can also be a fuel. It can keep you motivated and push you to limits you never thought possible.
The only drawback I can think of is that once you reach your destination, I have to often wonder how you feel with all of your energy spent. Now I know all the members of the Foley Nation are wondering. Perhaps you have come here by way of a certain Facebook posting. And I know what you must be thinking to yourself that I am the last person that should be writing about being a fountain of rage.
Obviously there has to be some event that facilitated this Lewis Black style tirade.
I have jockeyed and maneuvered myself into the absolute best position with my current 9-to-5 job. I have cut back to a part-time position to help shoulder the load of the house and the kids and allow me more productivity with my writing. Amy’s new job basically guarantees that her job takes priority and she has been after me to quit entirely.
However, I love my boss and I love 95% of the people I work with. Most of these people are in my Facebook friends and I genuinely like them. I am afraid of the psychological effects that may happen to me if I retreat into writing full time. Since my weekend poker game has fallen apart, this pretty much guarantees that I begin having only email relationships with people and I become crazy hermit guy with a better than average chance that I begin to perceive World of Warcraft as a reality.
Nobody wants that.
So, I should be enjoying my part time job. I should be using it as an outlet to get me out of the house and into the real world where I can have real life conversations with real life people. It should be ideal.
But my job has changed. The company that I work for has changed. They seem to have become obsessed with rules and regulations and writing employees up for infractions instead of being the “best place to work” as they like to say in their slogans. And one guy in particular is the problem.
He is an upper level management that I absolutely cannot stand. I literally loathe his very presence. He is condescending. He walks around as if he is high and mighty and better than the lowly employees that actually make the company function. I have no illusions that a nutless monkey could do my job but companies need to realize that good employees are hard to come by. And given the cavalcade of all-stars that I have outlasted should be an indication of just how valuable a good employee is. Yet all these new rules and regulations and this freakin’ c**ksucker has me tempted to throw away a five year relationship.
Granted, I may only see this prick a few handful of times a year but it is just that this jerkstore is in a position of management… it makes me frustrated that this is the type of manager that I have to deal with. If he is the representative of the company, this is clearly not a company that I want to work for…
So, I am at a crossroads. I could give it all up and risk a loss of income (such as it is) and insanity due to isolationism or I could gut it out just keep my head down and power through while loathing this individual with every fiber of my being but only suffer him a few handful of times a year. And if I continue to suffer this d-bag, I risk letting rage consume my soul. Is it worth it? Should I just bail out and call it a career? Why suffer fools for a part time paycheck? I make more money writing comic books anyway and I have NEVER had a bad day when I get to write my books. I don’t need an alarm clock when it is comic book writing day.
I was furious today. I mean shaking with rage. So I went to my boss and quit. I was going to be a man. I was not going to walk out. I said I would give him my two weeks. And the worst part of it, Dave completely understood why I was quitting. I was quitting because the system had failed me and I refused to let it bring me down.
But then I thought about my friends I would be leaving and the relationships I would be losing… and I unrang the bell. I am going to gut it out through the weekend, take full stock of my future and decide where to go from here.
Maybe I should just crack open a beer at the prep area while talking on my cellphone and smoking a cigarette. Surely, they would have to fire me. Have them make the decision for me, right? And for those that truly know me, I want you to think about that last statement. I just mentioned a possibility of me smoking. So I must be between a rock and a hard place.
Time will tell. It sure would be easier if I just hated the people I worked with….

Hey, I Actually Have Fans!

One of my first forays into writing was publishing fan fiction entertainment on the Internet. For those not in the know, that is where you take an established property and write a story about it, “publish” it for free on the Internet, and the copyright holders cannot come after for copyright infringements because you are not selling the story.
There are many fan pools out there. Star Wars, Star Trek, The X-Files, etc. But my bread and butter was Tomb Raider. So I wrote these little short stories and put them out there. The first time I got fan mail, I was giddy. I did not need fuel to keep me going as a writer. I am not saying that my success is dependant upon fans… But let’s say that it was like that octane booster that you put with a full tank of gas.
As a writer (or with any creative outlet), you never know how your work is going to be perceived. You can hope. You never want people to come back and say, “This totally sucks. You suck.”
But then when someone gives you a positive review, it is like justification. It makes me proud when people say that they like my stories. Like this blog article that my publishers emailed me today:

The Journal of the Lincoln Heights Literary Society Miscellanea and Ephemeron

And then there is the social network that exists within the World of Warcraft. I admit I am not the most social of players. I think a lot of this stems from the same reason I don’t sit down at a poker table despite being a poker player. I am afraid of making an etiquette mistake. And there are Level 80s rolling around in Azeroth. I don’t want to be that pesky little dog jumping around the big bulldog as it stomps down the sidewalk. I have my friends and I am always friendly and helpful when I can be, but I don’t have the social connections that my other friends do.
So a good friend of mine named Luke is on the game, doing some networking and running with some new players. One of these new players mentions that he works in a comic book shop. This prompts Luke to drop my name.
Believe it or not, the guy knows me!?!
He does not know me but he knows my work because of STOLEN HEARTS. The guy is a fan. Luke is going to prompt an in-game introduction for us. How cool is that? What a small world. I’m looking forward to saying hello to the guy and talking like a couple of comic geeks. I think that is a pretty cool story…

They Should Have Called it “Cocaine” Instead of “Lich King”

As a community, I have heard several beliefs that pain is something that can be lessened when it is a shared experience. It is kind of like seeing a terrible car accident or a morbidly obese man in overalls… wearing leopard spotted underwear… that’s a thong.
The only way to ease the pain of your soul is to trick someone else into seeing it. Then that pain that you experienced is divided amongst two people. So you now only have to suffer 50% of the total pain. Get a third person to see it and only have to experience… Wait. Carry the one… denominator. 25% I think. Look I’m not a math major, okay?
So, when you have a terribly crippling addiction, you might say that you should contain it and refuse to let it spread. You should just take that addiction and hide it from the world. That is one option… The other direction you can go is to spread your addiction around to other people. And then everyone can become as consumed with the same addiction. Then some people can go much more overboard than you and you can look at that person and say, “Hey, at least I’m not that guy.”
Yes, kids, it’s gotten that bad. You see the World of Warcraft addiction continues to slowly seep away at my soul. I am not going to say that it is completely out of hand because I do still work, sleep, eat properly (if you can call my diet “proper”), and function within the communally acceptable parameters of society.
I am not certain but I think it is time for a support group. The only problem is that I am not certain if there is a building large enough to hold 11.5 million people.
So what have I done, like a drug dealer, I go around at my work and recruit players. I tell ‘em to go on the Internet and just try the ten-day free trial. See, you give them the first hit for free to get them hooked. F**king Blizzard Entertainment. Crack Dealers! That’s what they should be called!
See Luke pulled in Dave and myself. Then as a trio we pulled in James and Kasondra and now Heath. Then we found out Brad played. Then James got Shannon playing. And one by one we continue to draw in more and more players into our own personal Well of Souls. So for all the people reading this blog, I just have one question… Want to learn what The Empyrean Fury is? Shoot me a message. Remember: The power of the Fury is the group and the power of the group is the Fury…

Listening to the Ebb and Flow of the Universe

One of the heroes of the X-Men in Marvel Comics is a genetically engineered warrior named Longshot. One of Longshot’s powers was the ability known as psychometrics. In the occult world, this is where a person can “read” the history of an object by touching it.
I think there are a few fictional stories where psychics have ascertained the identity of a killer by touching the knife used to stab his victims. In the filming of FOX’s television show PRISON BREAK, character Lincoln Burrow’s prison cell was the same real life cell occupied by noted American serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Some cast and crewmembers refused to enter the cell because of the energy within it.
And I do believe that certain objects can possess energies. Most can be associated negatively. But if there are situations with negative associations then there has to be situations with positive associations. There has to be.
I bring all of this up because I have been entrusted with a sacred duty. You see, today, I was passed the ashes of my mother.
Following her death, I did not see her body. I was given the opportunity but I refused. What I told myself is that it was simply an empty shell now. What was my mother was spirited off to a better place.
What I was handed today was a heavy urn with her ashes inside, carefully placed within a plastic bag. Yet, when I touch it, I can feel a certain energy. Perhaps it is something completely within my own mind. In theory, if this were to truly work, anyone who touches this urn should feel something. Unless one wants to argue that certain energy fields are perceptible to certain people. But that takes us down a whole other road. Maybe this is all in my head…
But what I do know is that within that urn are her last remains, the last evidence that she was physically in this world. And there was a sensation that ran through me when I held the urn for the first time. It was a sadness to be certain but not a sorrowful “I’m going to start crying” sadness.
It is her. But it is not her. It is. But it isn’t.
It’s weird. Even after all this time. It is weird.
I think the strangest things can spawn memories and feelings. I certainly did not think that when I woke up this morning, I would be writing a blog about my mom’s ashes. But that is life sometimes. Sometimes you have to allow yourself to become attuned to the energies that surround us. Maybe they can give you a link to your past. You just have to be ready to find those energies… and sometimes they pop up in times and places you don’t expect. Now, I’m not looking for existentialism through a haze of bong smoke or anything. It was a profound enough moment for me to feel like I needed to talk about it here… So it was pretty strange and special at the same time, and that is what this blog is all about…

The Fabric of Humanity

My dad is probably one of the most well read men that I have ever met. I would be scared to see what his Amazon.com bill is for a month or how chummy he is with his local librarians. Everyone has his or her own vices and his addiction to books is clearly in no way a hindrance.
I have been very fortunate in using my gifts to transfer over from the role of “Writer” to “Author.” And one of the things that fascinate me the most as a writer is perspective. I absolutely love the whole tale of perspective.
No army has ever marched forth into battle thinking God wasn’t on their side.
No army has ever marched forth into battle thinking they were the bad guys.
That is a pretty powerful thing to think about. Imagine being able to see stories from both sides. And that is what makes a really believable villain. Whether that villain is Darth Vader, General Francis X. Hummell, or Magneto, if you can see their point of view (what we call POV in comic book industry shorthand), you can understand their character. You can understand why they do what they do. You may not condone what they do but you can understand why they are doing what they are doing.
To the casual observer, you see a money-grubbing girl that refuses to date poor people. You immediately dismiss her as a gold digger. Well, I’m not saying she’s a gold digger but she ain’t messin’ with no broke nig— Wait. Did I just quote Kanye West? Let’s move on…
But if you take some time, you might learn this girl’s history. Then you find out that her family is gone. They have left her with nothing. Moreover, her financial dire straits have caused her to lose custody of her little girl—the only thing that ever brought her happiness. And with little education, she is looking for someone that can help support her and help make sure that she does not spiral down into darkness…
Now you may not approve of her using her feminine wiles (translation: big boobs) to try to find financial security but you can understand where she is coming from. And after you have walked a mile in her shoes, you understand why she is the way she is. So it is a thing where you can say, “I don’t trust Melanie but I can trust Melanie to be Melanie.” You can understand a person’s mindset and why they do what they do.
(Strangely, the alternative to this is the absolute crazy person like The Joker or Hannibal Lecter. They are so crazy that their motives cannot be predicted and that makes them incredibly frightening.)
It is my job to write a character that is three-dimensional and real. I don’t want mindless drone villains. I want to write believable characters. (This is why I love the Marvel Comics villains.) And in order to do this, I have to be an amateur psychologist. But I am in no way qualified for such diagnosis.
So I consider myself a “Studier of the Human Condition.”
And this line of thinking has often led me to certain epiphanies. I search for certain universal truths (believe me, that is a topic for another blog). And so here is my dad doing all of his reading and he likes to send me snippets of wisdom from his books. The last quote he sent was from Scott Turow’s Personal Injuries and it gave me pause.

From the quote, the author was talking about the pain that people feel in their hearts. I’m chopping the quote for length but this is the gist of it:

“Everybody’s got this hurt. Everybody has it somewhere in their heart. And I knew that I’d never really get away from it, and neither would anyone else. And life bears that out. It’s being poor, or being alone, or being sick, it’s not being loved enough or not loving the way you want to, it’s feeling you are a doormat to the world, or a mean crud, or just not quite as good as the people you want to be like or be with. But it’s always something, and it devouring, for most people, this parasite always eating a hole in their hearts.
“And I wondered and wondered why. Why did God make a world where everybody’s heart is in pain? I figured that out. The answer. You know why it’s like that? So we need each other. So we stick with each other, do for each other, and build up the world. Because misery does love company, and another soul’s comfort is the only balm for the wounds.
“And how would you say it? How do they put it in the Bible? ‘The shadow of God came over him.’”

The eternal question that is often lamented (typically from the gutter by people down on their luck) is “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Given my current life situation, I often look up and wonder, “Why do good things happen to bad people?”
But you find a little nugget of wisdom like this every once in a while and often feel compelled to pass it on… Maybe you learn something…

Past Events Influencing Our Future Choices

I often look at the aspect of nature and nurture and how it affects our lives. I am fairly certain that I have discussed this before in this blog how my mom was a smoker and my dad is a drinker, yet I am neither. Okay, the latter is because I have the bladder of a woman that is nine-months pregnant. I am not against drinking. It is just that my body cannot handle it anymore. Smoking is a completely different story.
My dad took jobs all his life that took him where the money was. New Jersey. California. Oklahoma. Indiana. North Carolina. And then back to Oklahoma. I often wonder if subconsciously I did not like moving around and this is why I have pretty much cemented myself in Oklahoma. I really like Oklahoma. It could just be that I really found my right area. However, long before I had kids and it was just me, people told me to move to La Jolla, California (home of Wildstorm) or Manhattan (home of Marvel Comics) to try to get a job with a comic company but being on-site an making face-to-face inquiries.
Thankfully, my career path is one interwoven with the Internet and I can email my comic scripts to my publishers. Which means I can live in the comparatively low cost of living state of Oklahoma and do more than just survive on meager comic book writer pay.
Still, debt has crippled my family. I have often said, “Imagine how far your paycheck would go if you didn’t owe anything to anyone.” Granted, that lifestyle is impossible to live. You are going to owe the water company and your cell phone bill. But sometimes life shoves you in directions that you don’t want and all you can do is hang on for dear life as you plunge down the rapids, knowing that tranquil streams are just past the whitewater.
Amy and I are plunging through the rapids right now. She is working nights for an agency and often I am leaving for my 9-to-5 when she is heading home from work. During the 4th of July holiday, it seemed like we only saw each other for an hour or two a day. I sleep when she is at work and vice versa. It takes a little getting used to.
But I have to stay focused on that end goal. That goal is to be out from underneath the credits cards and hopefully have my car paid off. If we can do that, then our only bill is Amy’s car payment. Now, suddenly, Amy is making more money than we ever have had and I am rolling along doing comic book scripts where I get paid infrequently but when I do get paid it is a fat check. And the ultimate kicker… we don’t owe anyone.
Yeah. Imagine. We are making the most money ever (for us) and we owe so little that we can actually start saving money. We can have a savings account! And we can start planning to build our first home.
It is important to have goals, kids. You have to set a goal. It gives you a finish line. It gives you something to look forward to and work towards. And when you reach that goal… it’s a pretty cool thing.

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

Some of you may recognize the quote in the title. It goes: “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.” Yes, it’s from The Godfather. Now before I begin, as with most of my statements, I need a little preamble. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. And I thank the powers above everyday that I do not understand the concept of addiction. What I have is not exactly an addiction because I do not go through physical withdraws or anything. But I am an action figure collector. That’s right. I collect action figures.
Now, I know I am opening up all sorts of problems by admitting this on a public forum like the Internet. For the thousands in attendance and millions reading at home, a shiver has gone through the crowd. All around the world, females are removing panties and other unmentionable unmentionables because nothing does it for the ladies like a balding overweight man that writes comic books. But a balding overweight man that writes comic books AND collects action figures? Yeah, I have to walk around in disguises. I can barely go to my local Wal-Mart any more. And if I do, I have to go at 3:00 in the morning…
My addiction goes back to the release of the Spawn action figure line, which I collected for several years. Budgetary cutbacks caused me to stop for a little while, then the Masters of the Universe line came out. When that line ended, I switched over to Marvel Legends and my marriage almost disseminated to divorce status. Still, my desk is totally bitchin’ with all my figures ranging from the Avengers’ Mansion to my Iron Man Armory to my Sinister Six Laboratory…
See I commit action figure sacrilege and taken them out of the cases. Then they are displayed around my desk in wicked awesome displays that are very cool to look at as I write my comic book scripts.
But we are in a recession after all. Prices are going up and the cost of oil skyrocketed. Well, action figures are made of plastic. Plastic is made from oil. I think you see the connection. So the company producing Marvel Legends basically cancelled the line and went to Marvel Universe – which are action figures on a 3¾” scale as opposed to the 6” figure… and I was not about to start over.
So, with a heavy heart, I called it quits. No more. The Marvel Legends collection was finished. Still tremendously impressive but finished. And I think my wife secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
But then the itch started. The craving set in. And… just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. Yeah. They make World of Warcraft action figures. DAMMIT! I keep thinking Amy is going to stop by the courthouse on her way home from work to file the divorce papers. Still, as far as addictions go, it is certainly not the most expensive in the world. I’d write more but I am working on this cool display for my Draenei paladin… Well and I have to reinforce the front door to keep out the relentless legions of ladies that all want to get a piece of this action. If I tell them that I’ve got my Paladin to Level 46 and I’m rocking the Vanquisher’s Sword with Fiery Weapon enchantment does it make it better or worse? They are in a frenzy right now. Probably should keep that a secret…

Waving “Arrivederci” to My Soul

So, for the last two months, I will admit there has been a certain level of inactivity on the ole RMF Enterprises blog. Sure, I could equate it to writing my scripts and long hours at work and time spent tending to family business… I wish I could say it. But it’s just not the truth. Now, I don’t want people to think that I am neglecting my duties as a person, parent, and husband. I am still getting all my work done. But I have found a new pastime and a new fixation.
Obsession thy name is Warcraft.
With the upgrade to our AT&T air-card, granting up semi-high speed Internet, I have joined the millions playing the on-line fascination of World of Warcraft. And I not only acknowledge my addiction, I embrace it.
And much like a communicable disease, I have spread this obsession to my fellow coworkers and they are becoming equally infatuated with it. If you are a sports-oriented guy (particularly football), you always secretly kind of looked forward to Mondays to discuss the weekend’s games. We play fantasy football at work and there are always taunts of victory or cries of agony the next day.
Well now, with this being the off-season, the topic of discussion with my fellow players almost always falls back to the game. I could go into massive detail about the game but I will just say that it is an MMORPG and leave it at that. There are a million sites out there that can far describe it better than I can. And truth be told, the more time I spend here writing about my game, the less time I get to spend actually playing it. So if you see a drop off on postings… its probably because of that freakin’ game.

Hating the Retarted (a.k.a. Public Perception and You)

In my 9-to-5 job, I must suffer through Musak. Now, sometimes, it is pretty good music. I will give credit where credit is due. Just the other day I did hear “Can’t You See” by the Marshall Tucker Band, which is a great song. I have heard a wide variety of music including things like classic rock, the occasional modern rock, and even a few pop songs that are pretty good. Unfortunately, there is a yang to the yin, and this takes the form of knock-kneed yee-haw country. And an unfortunate music form that is the major source of the topic of this blog. But like every master storyteller, let’s not take you there directly.
Let’s say that you work with a person that is mentally challenged. For the sake of the story, let’s call him Clarence. Now, Clarence is an employee with a penchant for giving fellow male employees a “How-do-you-do.” This is where a person makes the “thumbs up” gesture and proceeds to stealth up behind you and rakes his extended thumb from the bottom of your butt crack to the small of your back, particularly when you are bent over working in a compromising position. I am not certain if this term is featured at UrbanDictionary.com but if not, you heard it here first. TM and Patent Pending.
Now, you don’t hate Clarence because he is retarted. You hate him because of the constantly invasive How-do-you-dos. You hate him in spite of his retardation, not because of it. You can’t hate someone because of a condition they are born with (skin color, nose size, hair color, etc.) because they cannot control that aspect of their life. But a person who gives you the aforementioned rude gesture is doing it of his or her own free will. And this you CAN hate them for.
And yet, if you are in the breakroom, having suffered one of Clarence’s indignations previously in the day, you cannot say, “I hate that Clarence guy” without some sort of preamble. Because if you do, people will automatically think you hate the mentally challenged.
Now, I present this scenario to prove a point.
I HATE Christian music.
Now, if I just would have started this blog with that sentence, the snap decision people make without reading more of the blog is that I am some form of atheist or, even worse, a God hater and the death threats and hateful emails would have started directly. But allow me to explain.
In Hollywood, no one wants to be first and everyone wants to be second. Batman & Robin became a colossal joke and super hero movies stood on a precipice. Thankfully, someone was brave enough to say, “Let’s make a Rated-R super hero movie.” Film executives were skeptical. Wary. But then Blade turned in fat bank. The door was open to create thoughtful, character driven stories that didn’t have to involve day-glow street thugs fighting a Batmobile that stupidly drove up walls. Blade gives rise to X-Men. X-Men gives rise to Spider-Man. Spider-Man gives rise to Iron Man. And the list goes on. Spider-Man causes a rethinking of the DC franchises and we get Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. We get to see Heath Ledger as The Joker. The world rejoices and studios make a profit.
I think that the music industry has to follow a similar formula and, clearly, somewhere during the secret cabal meetings that forward the progress of our country, there was a meeting of brand merchandising between various record companies and the religious leaders. And the leaders of these two organizations must have decided that Christian music needs to follow the same sappy and wuss-dog formula of the first Christian singer to really make it big – whoever that shlub is.
Now, if you look at the message of Jesus, it is my understanding that all his teachings basically boiled down to one message. “Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes.” Wait. That might have been Abe Lincoln in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure… But the basic tenant was: Love one another. Be a good person. Live a good life.
Now, I am not adverse to music that teaches this maxim. Nickelback has a song that is really popular right now called “If Today Was Your Last Day.” It is a great song with a message that basically says to love one another. Be a good person. Live a good life. And I love that song. The message is great.
Go against the grain. You can’t turn back time. You can’t live twice. Forgive your enemies. And what I think is the best line in the song, “Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?”
See? Now that is a song I can get behind and they are basically saying everything that I think Jesus would say if he were around today. They are promoting a lifestyle that God would look upon and smile. And it also happens to have great music and kick ass drums… It is just a great song…
But then there are all these songs sung by people with no balls who whine about how much they love God and I just cannot stand it. It is wuss rock. And I don’t hate it because it is about God. I hate it because they all follow the same “No Testicular Fortitude Formula.” And yet, if I start a conversation with “Man, I hate Christian music,” I would be perceived by most as Anti-God or some type of atheist.
This is the conundrum. How can you detest Retarted Clarence without being perceived as a jerk yourself? How can you hate Christian music without seeming Anti-Christian? This is a question I have been wondering about and so it makes it into my blog.
Man, I need to get back to talkin’ about comic books or video games. All this thinking makes my head hurt… So if you will excuse me, I am going to follow some good advice and make my mark by mending a broken heart. Ladies, call for your appointment. It’s $500 for the hour or $2K for the whole night. Just leave Retarded Clarence at home. I hate that guy…

A Message of Hope & Change

In my previous post, I wondered if Michael Jackson would be remembered as a hero or a villain. Given how the jokes are circulating and the massive amount of media attention, I am still uncertain if he will be remembered.
However, the Disney film Atlantis: The Lost Empire, there is a fantastic line that Preston Whitmore has when he says, “Our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children.” Jackson gave several gifts to the world and the question is if those gifts will be outshined by the controversy and scandals that seemed to surround him.
Without getting into any of the scandals, please consider the following lyrics from two of his songs:
From Man in the Mirror
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

From Black or White
I am tired of this devil, I am tired of this stuff
I am tired of this business, so when the going gets rough
I ain't scared of your brother
I ain't scared of no sheets
I ain't scared of nobody…

Protection for gangs, clubs, and nations
Causing grief in human relations
It's a turf war, on a global scale
I'd rather hear both sides of the tale
See, it's not about races, just places, faces
Where your blood comes from is where your space is
I've seen the bright get duller
I'm not going to spend my life being a color

Not gonna spend my life being a color. I’m don’t consider myself white. I’m American. And even more than that, I consider myself a human being. More people should quantify themselves as such.
So, again, whether you are a fan of Michael Jackson or not is kind of inconsequential. Read the message in the lyrics listed above and you cannot help but embrace what he is saying. He sung about making the world a better place and standing up against racism. And not how he said he is not afraid of “brothers” and “sheets.” He was taking on both sides of the aisle… and I think that is something special.
I was listening to those two songs over the last couple of days and my oldest son asked if he could have them on his MP3 Player. I was proud to put that music on there. It is a message that more kids need. Say what you will, the man broke down barriers. And oh yeah, if you play Beat It on Guitar Hero, remember that the guy laying the licks on the lead guitar was Eddie Van Halen. And the do shredding on the guitar in Black or White is the heaviest of heavy guitar players. It’s Slash from Guns & Roses and Velvet Revolver…
Say what you will about the man but you can consider Jackson a symbol and I hope the message of that symbol far outlasts the legacy that was mired in scandal. Just my two cents…

Hero or Villain?

I believe it was P.T. Barnum that says something along the lines of: “You can say whatever you want about me in the paper as long as you spell my name right.” The adaptation of that is that any press is good press… I have read books where people say that you should do things to keep you in the spotlight – even if it is controversial. Nowhere is this more evident than in the NFL. “Broadway” Joe Willie Namath, Terrell Owens, Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson, and Brett Favre are classic examples.
But I often wonder if Mr. Barnum could even spin something as horrific and damaging as the accusations of child molestation.
And, of course, I bring this up because of the proclaimed “King of Pop” and the death of Michael Jackson. I was born in 1974. As a kid, at the time of the release of the Thriller album (yes, I had the old vinyl 33 rpm record), there was no bigger star in the world. Michael Jackson. Man, everyone had that record. Everyone did the dance moves (or tried to). He was the biggest thing in the world.
And back when he was normal, everyone loved him… then he seemed to go a little… well… Okay, I’ll say it. No need to tap dance on a grave. The guy went crazy. With that much fame and wealth, maybe we all go crazy. There was a reason the tabloids called him “Wacko Jacko.”
But you have to go back. Remember the times when he was normal and black and putting out great music. But then the sales started to dip, interest waned… There was all the plastic surgery, the baby dangling incident… and then the allegations of child molestation. I know he was acquitted in a court of law but if you are paying $15 Million of hush money to a family (according to ABC News), there was something pretty bad…
So all of this begs the question? How will this artist be remembered? Will anyone remember him for great songs like Man in the Mirror, Billie Jean, or Black & White?
I guess only time will tell. I got my first text joke at about 10 o’clock the night of his death, which was about six hours after his death. The media frenzy and how fast information travels is amazing these days.
There is an adage that the second a person dies they immediately become a saint. This is because you forget about all the bad things they did or the arguments that you had because there is no way to ever make amends with them. But there are some wrongs that cannot be righted. How will he be remembered? Will the stigma of that child molestation mar a once brilliant career? Did it really happen? Who knows? There was a time where Jackson was one of the most famous people in the world and now I am curious to see how the world will remember.

Living Outside Your Comfort Zone…

Several years ago, Amy and I came up with a plan. I would go back to work while she attended college to get a degree in Nursing. People are not going to quit getting sick and nurses are always in demand. Now, even further back, Amy went to work at the Tulsa County DA’s Office while I became a full time dad. So when she wanted to make the change, I had to go back to work. I was five years out of the employment business and my skills amounted to experience in the grocery industry and the video store industry – you know real titans of financial independence. But we figured we would live a little light, struggle for a little while, and come out better in the end. (There is a joke in there about coming better in the end but I am not going to make it. I am way too classy for that vulgar humor.) So I went back to work at the grocery store that gave me a job when I was 17.
So now, the day is here. Amy is working for a nursing agency. The pro to this is that she makes more than twice what I make an hour. The con is that shifts may be few and far between. If you are making $100 an hour, it doesn’t do any good if you only work half an hour a week. But, as I predicted long ago, Amy is doing well in her nursing.
Staff is requesting her help. “We want Amy to work over here!” At one point, an established pro could not believe that this was not only her first job but also only her second shift. So now, she is doing well. There is still that lingering fear that the agency is going to quit calling but after doing this for a few weeks, I think that fear is becoming unfounded…
So, I have cut back to part time work at the grocery store. We have Fourth of July coming up. For a grocery store on the lake, it is the busiest week of the year. So, here is the thing. I hate my job but I love the people I work with. I hate that I make nightmarish amounts of money for a company that pays me peanuts. My comic book assignments are what really make me happy. Yet, I fear letting go of this job, regardless of how crappy it is. Perhaps it is all this economic uncertainty looming around everyone like a specter of doom.
I have cut back to part time and there is an option after the holiday to possibly just cut back to two days a week. I may love the place if I am only there two days a week. So, in theory, I work at the 9-to-5 two days a week and write the other five days out of the week. That would not be too bad a situation. Get me out of the house, keep me active, let me have conversations with real adults… and yet, I despise the upper levels of management (the suits). The money is not fantastic. The insurance sucks. Maybe I should just quit all together… But I love my boss. Most of the co-workers are all pretty cool. I make some side money here and there. I wouldn’t have to go to Amy for cash to buy my action figures…Needless to say, it is a question that I am having difficulty answering and this is an aspect that has been consuming my life – which means it makes it into the blog. Anyone have any advice? I’ll keep you posted…

Flexing Your Muscles as an Artist… and I am RIPPED!

As mentioned in my last entry, my first book STOLEN HEARTS: THE LOVE OF EROS & PSYCHE has been published through Campfire, which opens the door for me to talk about what I have been doing behind the scenes for the last year or so.

You can find the book at the following link:
http://www.campfire.co.in/Books.aspx?catid=3

Here a while back, I got hooked in through a comic contact with a company that would eventually become known as Campfire. They are an outfit based out of India looking to break into the educational comic market.
In the first trial run with the company, I adapted a literary classic for them that is going to be published soon. It was a feeling out period for both of us. I was a relatively unknown writer with only a few credits to my name and they were a brand new company I knew nothing about. I am sure they were afraid that I was going to stink as a writer and I was uncertain if they were going to be a fly-by-night operation that might not pay me. (They are based in India and that makes legal recourse really difficult.)
So after that first book, I think the editors realized they had something special. I say this not to brag or anything but I have been screaming inside about taking the comic book industry by storm. Writing comics is what I am supposed to be doing and Campfire has provided me with the largest outlet to do that in my career so far.
And how did I know that they liked me? Because they came back saying, “What do you want to do next?” I kind of shrugged my shoulders and said, “Mythology?” I had always been fascinated with Greek mythology and thought that could be a fairly large avenue for me to conquer. So when they came back with the thumbs up, I suddenly had to scramble to start relearning everything.
Again, time schedules and artist work can be delayed for various reasons so strangely enough, STOLEN HEARTS is my third story for Campfire but it is the first one published. Don’t worry, it just means more stories are coming and my output is going to look insane.
When I first approached my editors about the story, I had just come off a real adrenaline-fueled, hack-and-slash warrior action story with sword fights and monsters. I remember several years ago, I met comic superstar artist Michael Turner at a comic book convention. (He died a while back. Huge loss. Rest well, brother.) I was a budding artist at the time. I remember how he talked about setting a scene for a book in a place with a lot of curtains and drapes because he couldn’t draw them. At the time, I thought, “Why would you intentionally draw something for publication that you can’t draw?” But I understand it now. He wanted to flex his muscles.
My writing for all my comic projects to this point had been action and swords and monsters and magic. Guy stuff. And when I went to go speak at Osage Elementary about writing comics and Greek mythology, girls outnumbered the boys.
Granted, comic books and video games are largely a male dominated field. I think as many girls read Harry Potter as boys. But one girl asked me if there were “girl comics” and that was when I knew that this story would work.
So I flexed my muscles. I wanted to grow as a writer (and as an artist). I wanted to grow as a storyteller. So I thought, why not do a romance? Luckily, Campfire was willing to take the plunge and the result is the book STOLEN HEARTS: THE LOVE OF EROS & PSYCHE… on bookshelves now! (I know it’s a cheap pop. Sue me, my last name is Foley.)
While I am nightmarishly out of shape physically, my storytelling muscles were blasted with cardio with this story and I think I came out quite well. It is a definite departure from the norm for me but I feel it is a wonderful story.
The company did a whole one-page blurb for me in the “About the Author” section. (Personally, I think they should have split the info between the artist and me because we are a team.) But in that section, they mention the forthcoming books for Heracles, Perseus and Theseus. Which pretty much means the cat is out of the bag for those titles. Hopefully I will learn more soon about their release dates.
STOLEN HEARTS is a story that I am tremendously proud of. It is not “my” story. It is a tale over 3000 years old but I feel like I have put my own unique spin on the tale. Nothing was changed from the story. There are no time-traveling cyborgs or lightsabers in it and He-Man doesn’t make an appearance… although that would have been AWESOME! But I feel that the way I have presented the story is very unique. As strange as it sounds, this one is for all the fourteen-year-old girls out there but I certainly hope that everyone enjoys it and comes back for more.
All value-degrading autographs on the book are always complimentary.

Coming Back to Reclaim the Throne of Internet Geek King

Fooos. Fooosh. That sound you hear is me blowing the dust off my blog. I know. It is has been a little while and all my fans (both of you) are probably wondering what has become of their master of all things geektastic. Admittedly, I have been away far too long. The MySpace page has suffered from even worse lack of attention. Let me break down the most important (and time consuming) events that have kept me away.

SCRIPT COMPLETED! My editors commissioned me for the largest script so far with a whopping total of 150-pages. Your average comic book is 22 pages, so this is almost like doing a seven-issue mini-series. (Technically it would be a 6.81 issue mini-series but who is counting? I know, me.) Also, keep in mind that at this time, I was also working full time and trying to survive the Memorial Day holiday at work. (This is the second busiest holiday of the year.)

BOOK PUBLISHED! Because of the nature of the beast, I complete written scripts much faster than an artist can draw one. I say this not to brag because I am just the monkey sitting at the keyboard. The artists are the ones with the real talent. What they have to do is hard work. So, it takes a bit longer for the art and coloring and lettering and such to come along. However, Campfire has officially released my first book called Stolen Hearts. Don’t worry; a momentous event like this is going to get its own entry…

MY LITTLE PRETTY NURSE: Back in May, Amy completed her school and passed the certification exam to gain her LPN license. She is currently searching for a job. She has done a few shifts for agencies but the work is not steady enough yet. Granted, she pulled a double shift yesterday (from 10 p.m. to 2 p.m.) and made more money that I make in a 5-day workweek at my 9-to-5. But if you only get one shift a week, it makes paying the bills tough. So she has interviews with two places for slightly less money but steady work with an actual schedule. And this bonus money has set us up to completely pay off one credit card.

“I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER”: All these factors come together to create one big plan. Allow me to explain. I make considerably more money writing comics than I do working at my 9-to-5 but the money was unreliable. Car companies don’t really like hearing, “Hey, I’ll pay you when I get paid.” They would rather have their money on the set pay date.
But once Amy starts getting her weekly paycheck, the plan is for me to quit my 9-to-5 (or possibly scale back to a minimal part time – two days a week at the most) and begin writing comics full time. Amy uses her paycheck to pay the bills and I use my income for massive projects like paying off credit cards and maybe the cars if there is enough work throughout the year.
Then, once we go debt free, we start saving to build a house. And the plan is to live as we have been living – modestly – and save up to put down a massive down payment. Suddenly, that plan seems within grasp…

Keys To A Happy Life And A Romantic Relationship… From A Comic Geek.

Yesterday, Amy and I celebrated our twelfth anniversary. A dozen years is a pretty big accomplishment in my book. I wish I could say that I showered her with lavish gifts but I can only summon so much romantic ideas in a single given time period and I pretty much expended all my romantic creativity on Valentine’s Day this year.
Of course, you already know this because you read every blog entry meticulously, right? If not, where have you been?
I know it is cliché to talk about things like this but I honestly feel like I love Amy more today than I did when we were first married. I tend to talk about love and relationships a lot on this blog. Maybe more than I anticipated. But it is a pretty big part of my life. Regardless, I am by no means a relationship expert. I do not want to be one. I do not profess to be one. Still, with twelve years behind us, happy after all these years, and raising three wonderful kids in a healthy environment… I would have to say that we are doing something right.
So for all those out there looking for love (clearly a comic geek/action figure collector’s blog is the first place to come), please take this two cents worth of advice. And really this can apply to all relationships.
COMMUNICATE!
I always say that 90% of all problems come from either miscommunication or a lack of communication. Just simply talking it out can solve so many problems. Explain your point of view. Most of the time, you can find common ground. Or if opinions cannot be changed, at least the other person understands your point of view.
Now, note I said 90%. I can talk with some people until I am blue in the face and I am not going to bring them around to my POV. (In the comic script world, POV is shorthand for “Point of View”.)
My father-in-law is not going to like Barack Obama. My sister is not going to support homosexuality. And you are not going to convince me that the prequel episodes of Star Wars “suck compared to the first movies.” It is just not going to happen. On this, pick your battles and move on. There is never sense in fighting a pointless fight – unless you are part of the brave 300 and, in that case, fight on, my brothers. Fight on.
And if you think that military analogy is too far fetched, look around. Ask people. Marriage is a WAR. And it is important that you are both fighting on the same side. Because life is hard enough to fight alone. Life is a tough enough opponent on its own and you don’t want to fight a war on two fronts by having to fight with life and your spouse. You need a teammate by your side.
And as you fight together as a team, suddenly you find yourself fighting a little harder. I push myself to get more comic book pages done, to clean the house, to do the dishes (even when I don’t want to) to make sure that she is happy. I do it because I don’t want to let her down.
And that’s how I know I have found my true love. It is because I care more about her happiness than I do my own. That is not saying that I am forsaking my own happiness. As Katt Williams once said, “You have to look out for your star mother-!@#ing player.” And that star player is the person you see in the mirror. It has to be a two way street.
There are times where she lets me have my happiness over her own. I know she doesn’t want my living room desk covered in action figures. I know she doesn’t want me to build a shrine to Lara Croft (to be covered on my next blog entry). But she knows that it makes me happy.
So a recap from a person coming from twelve years of wedded bliss. Talk. Communicate with one another. Put their needs ahead of your own but not forsaking yourself in the process. If you can do that, trust me, true love will emerge.
And letting him touch your naughty parts a little more frequently helps too. Word to ya mutha. (C’mon, I was getting a little too philosophical there. I can’t be all gushy and Dr. Phil here…)

Finding Your Place in the World

I have been working with a few comic book companies over the last few years trying to establish myself within the industry. The goal is to turn my writing into a full time profession. And I am very close to accomplishing that goal. Amy has now officially completed her schooling at the NTC Center in Pryor. All that remains now is for her to pass the certification exam which she will take on the 28th. She took a predictor where she placed 83% in the nation and has a 98% chance of passing the exam. So I am pretty stoked. I think I can actually see the end of the tunnel now.
I am planning on cutting back my hours at work so that I can still maintain my full time status (and keep my crappy insurance) but dedicate more time to writing. As of right now, I am on deadline for my next project and I have been dedicating most of my time to that project. Of course, because of my Nondisclosure Agreement, I cannot talk about the specifics of the project.
In a completely unrelated subject, for no reason whatsoever, I found this pretty cool website called Campfire. You can check it out by clicking the link.
Back to my original course with this entry, as of right now, I am working towards a self-imposed deadline. Every day that I work on this project, I may get frustrated or fatigued but I am never unhappy or tired… if that makes sense. I have found that the brain is like a sponge and you can only wring so much creativity out of it at a time. But I have been pacing myself properly to prevent the “brain puddining.” [Regular visitors of the blog know about this effect.] And while at times, my job writing is difficult I am never dissatisfied.
And that is the key, people. You’ve got to find something that you love. I get so tremendously jazzed when I come up with cool fight sequences, funny gags, and heart wrenching moments. This is just what I am destined to do.
So I am clawing my way through a pretty intense book and I am fighting with my deadline and keeping on task while working at the 9-to-5. It’s rough but the end goal is what I am focused on. Well that and getting those mother-!@#$ !@#$ $%^^* piece of !@#% credit cards paid off.
So if it seems like my blog has not been updating at a tremendous rate, it is because I am working on my deadline and working behind the scenes. But I am still here, Foley Nation. I promise.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to Ye!

These things, I warmly wish for you:

Someone to love,

Some work to do,

A bit of o’ sun

A bit o’ cheer

And a guardian angel

Always near.

_____________________________________________________________

Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,

the saving grace to see a joke,

To win some happiness from life,

And pass it on to other folks.

Role Reversals and Full Time Fathers

This morning, ABC’s Good Morning America ran a news piece about women becoming breadwinners after the economic nosedive has seen so many men laid off from their jobs. You can read about the news piece here.
In the interview, the woman said of her husband, AND I QUOTE: "It's the respect. I wish I could say something different, but I've lost so much respect for him. And I think the dynamics with a man and a woman is a woman has to respect her husband. And if she doesn't, that relationship just goes away."
I know that this blog is self-rated rated PG-13, so let me think of an appropriate and family-friendly response…
Fuck You.
Now, allow me to properly represent my anger through my side of the story. Several years ago, my wife and I were both working our little crappy jobs and we had a nice arrangement. She was working for the family business (which allowed us to avoid the high cost of daycare) and I was running a video store in Claremore. No sugar coating here (since we are all friends) but we were making peanuts. So with both of us working, she was taking care of the kids, while I took care of the majority of the housework.
Within the same week, we both became fed up with our jobs and turned to each other simultaneously and said, “I want to quit my job.” So, working as a team, we decided to switch it up. She found a new job at the Tulsa DA’s office making more money than we were both making combined. So she worked full time and I took over the house and the kids. As she was making all the money, my mindset was that she should not have to do anything around the house. It took me about a month but I began to found my system and then I took it all over. Kitchen, cleaning, cooking, laundry, chauffer for the kids back and forth to school. I did it all. And will freely admit, my role was infinitely harder. INFINITELY.
Before I was just taking care of the house and working. Suddenly, I found myself struggling with a much more difficult task of taking care of the kids and taking care of the house. With this new “job” that I had, there were no days off. Your role is often overlooked. Not by your spouse (although sometimes) but by people in general. They do not see your day-to-day chores as work because there is no paycheck involved. You are alone for a significant amount of your day.
Point blank, this is a very tough job to do.
The woman in the news piece is looking at the situation in the completely wrong context. They appeared to live in a very nice home. And while he was unfortunately muscled into his position, this guy is willing to shoulder that responsibility. And they showed him surfing on Career Builder.com, so he is doing all this while he is searching for a new job.
She should consider herself lucky and she should appreciate him, several times over. This woman better be a sexual dynamo in the sack to degrade her husband so much. Maybe she would prefer to go back to the 1950s where a woman was expected to be subservient.
If this is the biggest problem in their life, I would love to trade positions with them. Clearly, they just need a fresh perspective…

Happy Steak & BJ Day and Moving Ahead (Giggity) with Projects

See what I did? See what I did in the title there. Using the word “ahead” to tie the two headlines together? Look I did it again with “headlines.” Man, I am clever.
So I am on here today, March 14th to wish everyone a Happy Steak & BJ Day. This is the male twin holiday counterpart to Valentine’s Day. If you need to know more, click here. It's not an official holiday yet but dammit it could be!
Also, I am happy to announce that I am back on the horse regarding my latest comic book project. I am dedicating myself to three pages a day and taking Sundays off to give me a slight reprieve. If figure that working a full schedule and writing three pages is totally doable without my brain resorting to what I have affectionately called in the past “brain puddining.” It is that state that kids get when coming out of the ACTs or SATs. It is a state of mental exhaustion that occurs when you just try to wring too much information out of the sponge you call your brain.
I offset this with doing blog entries, watching a TV episode on DVD, doing housework, or having a quick go on a video game. Still this is a pretty big project and I am trying not to get burned out too fast. My theory is that the more I convert this into a full time job, the more water the sponge can hold and the more I can wring out of it at a single sitting. If I could write full time every day, much like building muscle, I am sure I will be able to devote to a larger page count. But, for now, I’m pretty satisfied with three pages a day. Not showing off, not falling behind.
Hopefully more official announcements for this very soon. Back to battle.

Showering the One You Love

I know that February is traditionally the month of love and here we are already a third of the way through March but I have been busy. Dedicating time to the blog has been few and far between. Don’t judge me! Seriously though, there was a section back in February that I really wanted to comment on but missed out on the opportunity.
Next February, if you really want to have fun, grab a folding lawn chair, a six pack of beer, and camp out in the romantic section of your local [Insert Store Name Here.] A Wal-Mart, a grocery story, drug store, or even a convenience store would work. Go somewhere where a business is displaying all the standard Valentine’s Day trappings (flowers, balloons, candies, cards, etc.) Then, the day of Valentine’s watch all the pathetic and/or desperate husbands attempting to squeeze romance out of some flimsy product after the best stock has been picked over. It is hysterical. Working at a grocery store, I was able to witness several of these encounters and suddenly had an epiphany (that is what this blog is for after all).
Now, there are two schools of thought regarding Valentines and I have seen both sides. First, like birthdays, Christmases, and anniversaries, if you purchase something for your significant other one year, they will expect it every year… and there is the inevitable pressure to top what you did the previous year. So you can either climb the pressure ladder or do nothing at all. Whichever path you take, you win… and you lose.
Dealing with this, I am reminded of the Albert Einstein quote who once said: “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
I think comedienne Aisha Tyler gave us a modern day version of the quote when she said (talking of Valentine’s Day): “Every year, people have such high hopes for it. Every year there is all this pressure to be perfect. And every year, every girl is like, ‘This is the year I get diamonds!’ And every guys is like ‘This is the year I get a blow job!’ Everybody’s disappointed.”
Now, admittedly, I do not give the whole nine yards every holiday. I try my best but it is hard. You have to mix it up and keep things fresh. This year, I had the financial wherewithal to provide my wife with a number of gifts and romantic trinkets. It was nothing dramatically over the top. It was mainly thoughtful, romantic stuff. Which translates into silky pajamas, a nice collection of roses, a thoughtful custom card, and cubic Zirconium earrings as opposed to g-strings, edible body paints and handcuffs. It was the more traditional Valentine’s Day stuff. Nice, somewhat elegant and as expensive as I could afford. (As I mentioned earlier, I am working in a grocery store right now.)
But here is the epiphany. Everything that I bought was a reflection – a symbol – of my love, if you will. A nice pair of pajamas that are silky and comfortable but not sexy dirty. Earrings I thought she would look nice wearing. Rose that say, “I love you.” Dorky stuffed animals that are cutesy and fun. I did all this to say, “On today of all days, I love you. This is a small reflection of my love for you.” Those were my exact intentions as I perused the “love aisle” at Wal-Mart. Again, money is tight this year.
And I suffered for this. As I was walking around the women’s department looking for pajamas and undergarments, you get some pretty strange looks and the ladies working said department. There is the inevitable “Can I help you find something?” Question. Which is why I was smart to have all the hearts and flowery things and stuffed animals already in my cart that I could point to and say, “Valentines Day shopping for my wife…” For all I know these people think I am some cross-dressing freak and I don’t need those glares upon me as I am in there all the time to look for action figures in the toy aisle. “Look at this one with the Spider-Man action figure.” “Yeah, I saw him last week in the ladies department shopping for bras and boy shorts.” “Ewwww…”
But the point of all this is that I went to task this holiday with the best of intentions in my heart. Sure, I was anticipating a little carnal reciprocation, but I went into this wanting to show my wife how much I love her. What I did NOT do was purchase said items saying, “Well, this ought to keep her from bitching.” Or “This should get her to shut up.” Or “This should keep me out of the doghouse.” [All of these phrases I heard from the aforementioned pathetic husbands.]
Here’s the thing, kids. Here’s the epiphany. If you are grumbling these sentiments as you are passing over your money at the cash register, chances are your whole life is in the doghouse. Why? Because you were doomed from the start. That pathetic looking rose and the half-eaten box of chocolates was not bought to be a symbol of love. You bought it so you didn’t have to hear her gripe… And, to me, that indicates problems on both ends of the relationship.
Just my two cents.
And, ladies, remember. Most of our ideas stem from things that would make us happy. Being nice and massaging your feet is a hint that we like to have our backs massaged from time to time without having to ask. If we bring you strawberries and whip cream, it’s because we like that flavor too. Men are simple creatures, ladies. If we do something elaborate for you, it means we would like to have that elaborate love reciprocated. Just some friendly advice…

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…

I know I have been away. But typically, there are two reasons for a delay of almost a month per blog update. 1) Not a whole lot is going on worth reporting or 2) too much stuff is going on. Thankfully, this time around, it is the latter.
I have been very busy with comic book work that has delayed me from regular updates. Still, that is a pretty good thing, especially that I am about to work on one of the biggest profile projects of my very early and burgeoning writing career. Damn my Nondisclosure Agreements or I would be screaming from the mountaintops… if we actually had mountains in Northeaster Oklahoma.
Some good news. When you are surrounded by crap, sometimes you just don’t realize how crappy the stuff you have is… until you get new stuff. Thanks to some financial wrangling, I was able to purchase new furniture for the living room and a new computer for myself. And I didn’t realize how bad my old stuff was until I started working and relaxing with the new stuff. Huge world of difference. The air is sweeter. Food tastes better. It is a great feeling all the way around.
More good news. The finish line for Amy’s schooling is now officially in sight. I honestly cannot see any reason why she will not be taking her final exam for certification in March or the first week in April at the very latest. After this week, she moves into her preceptorship (think of it like super-clinicals), where she has to complete either eight 12-hour days or 12 8-hours days. Once these are done, it is exit exam, certification exam, and then off to find a job in the medical market. Thankfully, regardless of the state of the economy, people are not going to quit getting sick.
She is planning on doing the bridge program from LPN to RN at RSU ASAP (could I fit in more random letters into that statement?). Even if Amy works the weekend (say Friday, Saturday, Sunday), she would make more money than I would if I worked my five days. So she can work and go to school.
So what does this do for RMF Enterprises? If Amy can get a steady paycheck coming in each week, I no longer have to struggle to make ends meet with my current 9-to-5 job. I switch to a part time position (say two days a week) and begin dedicating 5 days a week to writing, which is where I am really happy. So this is the reason for the lack of updates. A lot of stuff going on behind the scenes which, hopefully, I will be able to talk about very soon…

Need a CEO to Run Your Company Into the Ground? Welcome to RMF Enterprises!

I’ve never professed to be an intellectual aristocrat. I am by no means a superior scholar. And I am not go to sit here and spout how my business acumen and skills in the bulls and bears market is superior to anyone. And yet, we have seen story after story of big business executives running major corporations into the ground… and getting paid millions of dollars to do it.
Case in point, take uber-douche bag John Thain, who is now the former CEO of Merrill Lynch & Co. This turd burglar spent $1.2 million redecorating his downtown Manhattan office in 2008 as the company was firing employees and posting record losses.
Thain hired Los Angeles-based decorator Michael Smith. Thain paid Smith $837,000 and his purchases included $87,000 for area rugs, $25,000 for a pedestal table and $68,000 for a 19th-Century credenza.
If I ever saw this guy on the street, I would junk punch him into tomorrow. The money he spent to redecorate his frickin’ office could support my family for the rest of our lives.
So hey, moron companies out there who are paying the CEOs extravagant amounts of money! Are you paying your CEO ten million dollars a year? Hire RMF Enterprises. We will run your company into the ground for half the cost. I’ll settle for five million a year. Look at that. I just saved your company five million dollars and I can’t do any worse than the inmates you’ve got running your asylum right now!

Step on up. Any takers? I’m sitting anxiously waiting for your email…

Moved to Tears... and that don't happen often...

All right so I'm not trying to stir up any sort of political angst here or get people hot under the collar. Unless you were living in a cave... on Mars... with your fingers in your ears... Barack Obama was sworn into office today as the 44th President of the United States. I was lucky enough to be off of work and I got to watch the inauguration on TV.
Just in case you missed it or are on dial-up like me and don't want to wait on YouTube for five hours... This is the text of Barack Obama's inauguration address.

BARACK OBAMA INAUGURATION SPEECH

Now whether you bleed democratic or still have a trunk full of McCain bumper stickers, I don't really think today was about politics. On more than one occasion, the TV anchors talked about the "peaceful transfer of power." I know that in many countries around the world, they do not have that luxury.
Whether you voted for him or not -- whether you like him or not -- I think that everyone can agree that his speech today was incredibly moving and empowering. His speech was less about politics and more about the incredible resolve of the American spirit -- and even more so, the HUMAN spirit. And I believe the human spirit transcends any border.
Admitted, I don't jump in with both feet into the political arena. I am not usually passionate about politics but I will admit this. Yes, I got teary eyed at the speech. I think it was the quote from Washington about everyone coming forward to meet the common danger. I like the part about our patchwork heritage. And I particularly liked the passage where Obama said that he would outstretch his hand if they would unclench their fist.
If he can accomplish even a quarter of what he has promised (got my fingers crossed for the wind power plants here in Oklahoma), then we can get moving in the right direction, maybe the whole world can start moving to an era of unbridled peace, prosperity, and environmental healing. Again, not just for America but for the entire world.
I know it is a lofty goal to put on one man's shoulders but I hope... I hope...

Movie Review: The Express

So I was fortunate enough to get a sneak peek of the DVD release of The Express: The Ernie Davis Story. This is really a first rate movie all the way around. Be forewarned that the movie does not stretch the film boundaries too much. It follows in the same vein as Rudy, Remember the Titans, and Glory Road. Still, I think you need a movie like this every couple of years to remind you of the power and the indomitable will of the human spirit.
I knew very little of Ernie Davis’ story before the movie, although I did recognize the characters of Jim Brown and Art Modell only because I am a football fan. The film stars Dennis Quaid, Clancy Brown, Charles S. Dutton, and relative newcomer Rob Brown. You might remember Brown from his roles in Coach Carter with Samuel L. Jackson and Finding Forrester with Sean Connery. Brown only has seven credits to his name on IMDB but he carries the movie like a seasoned actor. He is very likeable and a few more roles like this one should cement him in Hollywood.
The story is really first rate. They do some really neat things with the special effects and how they present the story. They use a technique where they use a variety of camera styles that I liked.
If the movie has a drawback is that most of the white people in the film (pretty much everyone from Texas) is kind of the stereotypical racist. Maybe I am too far removed from that time period but I find it hard to believe that they only sold Cotton Bowl tickets to the most redneck, yee-haw white trash. I give this a very strong recommendation. Look for it on DVD on Tuesday the 20th. I am not certain if it would crack my top ten list of 2008 theater releases but it is a darn fine movie. (Good enough for me to write a review for it…)

My Breadth of Worthless Knowledge is Infinite

I have often said that if I could ever focus my abilities towards the forces of good, I could probably cure cancer. Instead of focusing on math, history, and the sciences, I focus on pop culture, movie trivia and comic book minutiae. I have always said that my head is filled with useless knowledge. I can tell you how many focusing crystals Darth Vader’s lightsaber has, the resonance frequency of the U.S.S. Enterprise-E, and the molecular composition of Captain America’s shield. I play a game at work with the employees where they name any actor or actress and I can link them in six jumps to Arnold Schwarzenegger. It is a sickness really.
So the other day, a friend of the family spots me in the store and come up to me clearly needed an answer to a question. “So in Star Wars, when they are on that ice planet,” [technically it was The Empire Strike Back and the planet is Hoth] “they had those animals that they rode…” Without missing a beat I said, “Tauntauns.” (This was the creature that froze out in the wastes. Han Solo slices its belly open with Luke’s lightsaber and stuffs him inside for warmth.)
And with that the question was answered. The reason is because her new dog apparently makes noises that resemble the bipedal steeds. She would later go on to name the dog “Tauntaun.” But out of everyone she knew, she knew I was the person that could answer her question.
Sometimes being a geek is a curse. But it is a burden I am happy to bear…

Finding Beauty & Preparing for my Funeral

I have said in previous blog entries that you have to be open to your surroundings because sometimes you can find beauty and inspiration in unexpected places. I am also tremendously influenced by pop culture. I am a big fan of the television show Lost. As season five is about to start later this month, Amy and I have been watching DVDs of the previous seasons to get us reacquainted with the storyline. So in the Season 1 episode “Confidence Man,” the character of Sayid Jarrah is making a lonely walk away from the crash site to take part in a self-imposed exile. There is a song playing in the background accompanying his lonely walk. I had to do some Internet research but the song is called “I Shall Not Walk Alone” by the Blind Boys of Alabama.
Now, as if the name of the band doesn’t give it away, the song is performed by a group of black men that have voices filled with the kind of soul and wonderful, joyous pain I have not heard since the soundtrack for O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Gaining access to this song, I have listened to it over and over again. I can’t help but think of my mother when I listen to the song. It is just haunting and beautiful, joyous but sad, uplifting and yet depressing.

And when I'm tired and weary and a long, long way from home
I just reach for Mother Mary and I shall not walk alone.

Some may be surprised that you could find such tremendous inspiration from a TV show. You have to keep yourself open to beauty, kids. I can feel my mother’s presence when I listen to the song.
It is a painfully beautiful piece of music. It’s saved to my hard drive. For those close, make sure they play this one at my funeral (along with the Imperial March – my casket is to be wheeled out to that song). What I would give for one last walk. One last conversation. One last hug. One last “I love you.” It is the last words we spoke to each other in this world. But it still wasn’t enough. But I know I do not walk alone. It did not take this song for me to realize it, but I think of this more like a theme song…

A Case of Mistaken Identity (a.k.a. I’m Not Reading Twilight)

I am a big reader. Hopefully, being a semi-professional author (I’m still not used to saying that), that should not come as a big surprise to anyone. If you are an aspiring author, my best advice to you is simple.
Read.
Read anything and everything. By doing so, you can see how the published professionals do it. See how they put a story together and then find your own voice.
Still, here is a staggering statistic. Mick Foley (no relation) is a #1 New York Times Best Selling Author and professional wrestler. In his 2001 book Foley is Good (and the real world is faker than wrestling), he levies a staggering number that 70% of all adults never read a book after completing school. 70%!
But while appalling, that number is not far fetched. Say that a paperback book costs $7.00. If a book sells 100,000 copies (making $700,000) it is a runaway best seller. Howard Stern’s Private Parts shocked the literary world in 1993 by selling over a million copies. (I’ve read that book. It is hysterical.) Now, let’s say that your average movie ticket price is $7.00. If a movie only makes $700,000, it is considered a massive flop.
And here is some impressive numbers for you just to show the disparity. According to Variety, The Dark Knight grossed $996.8 million worldwide. Iron Man grossed $581.9 million. But I think that is probably safe to say that you could take the sales of all Batman and Iron Man related comic book sales for 2008 and you would be hard pressed to sell even 1% of that.
So movies are certainly the new genre for my generation. Writing a book is not a big deal anymore. Getting the movie deal, that is where the money is.
I’m kind of between projects right now (waiting on editors), so I have been catching up on my reading. My favorite author of all time is R.A. Salvatore and I absolutely love his Forgotten Realms book series. I have been reading them since I was about fourteen years old. There is no doubt in my mind that Mr. Salvatore’s work is the reason why I write. In many of his dust jacket covers, the blurbs say that Salvatore received a copy of The Lord of the Rings as a gift and after reading it promptly changed his major in college. That book changed his life. I would love to meet him one day and tell him that The Crystal Shard changed my life.
So because of my writing and schedule I was delayed in reading his 2007 release The Orc King. And since Amy got me his 2008 release The Pirate King for Christmas, I figured I needed to get going and get caught back up on my reading. So I have spent some time over the last week sneaking pages on my breaks and lunches at work. And when people come back and see me reading, many ask what I am reading or assume I am reading the Twilight series.
I must have had four people in one day ask me if I was reading Twilight. When I shared this with Amy, she asked me if I was reading it, I said, “I’m not a fourteen-year-old girl.” To which she sarcastically replied, “You aren’t a twelve-year-old boy but you read Harry Potter.” That is a whole different ball of wax and a blog for another day.
Still, anything that can generate that kind of buzz is a tremendous thing. And I’m not knocking the series of vampire novels by any means. I’m just not into the whole romantic thing. Clearly it is very popular but just doesn’t really sound like my cup of tea. I may check it out later.
Still, it is amazing how many people just do not read. I don’t think it is because they are stupid or illiterate. Maybe lazy. But people just do not read and as an author, that is pretty darn depressing.
But in the meantime I am pretty happy. I am hip deep in the battle for Mithral Hall and the attempted establishment of an orc kingdom under the leadership of Obould Many-Arrows. Heck, I’d write more for this blog but I am a pretty intense part of the book.

Catch everyone on the flip side!

Well, There’s Always Next Year…

Ah those infamous words. “There’s always next year.” The battle cry of the loser. Unfortunately, the New York Giants join those ranks after their loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in the division round of the playoffs. Still, I can’t complain too much. I was really hoping for back to back trips to the Super Bowl but they had an excellent year. Combining that loss with the defeat of the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS championship and it was just not a good week for football. I am sure Florida and Pennsylvania residents would disagree. Of course my biggest fear is that free agency will pick apart the Giants players and coaching staff during the off-season.

However, the start of the next season seems like a lifetime away. Man, I’m going to miss football…

Happy Belated Elvismas, Media Vultures, and Kevin Costner is a Great Dumb Ass

I’ve been a tad busy and not able to update the blog as much as I would like but some things have been going on that I would like to comment on.
Yesterday, the 8th, celebrated “Elvismas” which was the birth of the King – Elvis Presley. In honor of this somewhat momentous occasion, I recommend “A Little Less Conversation” remixed by JXL (this is the theme for the television show Las Vegas) and the Paul Oakenfold remix of “Rubberneckin’” as featured in the movie Fred Claus.

As we are now more than one week into the New Year, there is a fifty percent chance that you have already broken your New Year’s Resolution. Amy and I have been talking about building a new house in a few more years. My goal this year was to quit pack ratting. I want to get rid of everything that we would not want to take over to a new house. And I am working on that. I could have gone with the standard lose weight, get in shape, or cut out drinking the Monsters but I wanted to have a resolution that I could stick with.

I would like to officially recommend Swing Vote coming out on DVD this Tuesday. It stars Kevin Costner, Kelsey Grammar, Dennis Hopper, Nathan Lane, and Stanley Tucci. This is a political movie, which made me nervous at first. I was afraid the movie was going to play up some filmmaker’s personal agenda. However, after watching the movie I could not tell if the director was a Republican (giant douche) or Democrat (a turd sandwich). The movie shines a glaring spotlight on the absurdity of American politics and the “do anything to win” mentality. It is a movie that is a comedy that sneaks in a very nice message. And in the movie, Kevin Costner is a complete dumb ass. He is apathetic, a loser, a drunk, and a terrible father. It is a wonderful acting job by him. And that causes me to raise a weird question…
According to my ACT scores, GPA, and such, I consider myself to be slightly above average in the intelligence bracket. I admit I don’t understand string theory or quantum mechanics but I think that I am pretty intelligent. So I often wonder, do dumb people realize that they are dumb? To they comprehend that they just don’t comprehend? I often wonder about that.

The earlier political subject kind of allows me to dovetail into a sore subject. This week, there were all sorts of news coverage on the Obama children attending their new schools in the Washington D.C. area. How is this news? Why would/should anyone care? I know they are the little girls of the new President but c’mon, man. News outfits should not be reporting on what they are having for lunch or what type of backpack they wear. There should be certain areas that are just off limits. Frickin’ vultures, man.

I’d type more but I’ve got more movies to watch, more junk to throw away, and maybe a little more political outrage to scream about… but that stuff just doesn’t interest me that much. Maybe instead I’ll make another action figure display. Those Marvel Legends SHIELD agents are coming out pretty soon… At least I'm focused on the improtant stuff...

Welcoming the New Year

2009. I wish I could say that I attended a massive party and had a wonderful time ringing in the New Year. Truth be told, I spent the evening watching movies. As the New Year began, I was laying in bed watching the ball drop in Times Square on television and then promptly rolled over and went to sleep. In my defense, I had to be at work at 7:00 a.m., which meant the alarm was going off at 6:00. And I am no longer a young man that can fully function with only a few hours of sleep.

I do find that the appeal of the New Year is very intriguing. Without a calendar, I don’t think you would know that it was a new year. And yet, that 01-01 in the date book gives people hope that things can get better. And this time around, I have real hopes for 2009. Fingers crossed. Stay tuned to this blog and I’ll let you know how it all turns out…