Sunday, July 12, 2009

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

Some of you may recognize the quote in the title. It goes: “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.” Yes, it’s from The Godfather. Now before I begin, as with most of my statements, I need a little preamble. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. And I thank the powers above everyday that I do not understand the concept of addiction. What I have is not exactly an addiction because I do not go through physical withdraws or anything. But I am an action figure collector. That’s right. I collect action figures.
Now, I know I am opening up all sorts of problems by admitting this on a public forum like the Internet. For the thousands in attendance and millions reading at home, a shiver has gone through the crowd. All around the world, females are removing panties and other unmentionable unmentionables because nothing does it for the ladies like a balding overweight man that writes comic books. But a balding overweight man that writes comic books AND collects action figures? Yeah, I have to walk around in disguises. I can barely go to my local Wal-Mart any more. And if I do, I have to go at 3:00 in the morning…
My addiction goes back to the release of the Spawn action figure line, which I collected for several years. Budgetary cutbacks caused me to stop for a little while, then the Masters of the Universe line came out. When that line ended, I switched over to Marvel Legends and my marriage almost disseminated to divorce status. Still, my desk is totally bitchin’ with all my figures ranging from the Avengers’ Mansion to my Iron Man Armory to my Sinister Six Laboratory…
See I commit action figure sacrilege and taken them out of the cases. Then they are displayed around my desk in wicked awesome displays that are very cool to look at as I write my comic book scripts.
But we are in a recession after all. Prices are going up and the cost of oil skyrocketed. Well, action figures are made of plastic. Plastic is made from oil. I think you see the connection. So the company producing Marvel Legends basically cancelled the line and went to Marvel Universe – which are action figures on a 3¾” scale as opposed to the 6” figure… and I was not about to start over.
So, with a heavy heart, I called it quits. No more. The Marvel Legends collection was finished. Still tremendously impressive but finished. And I think my wife secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
But then the itch started. The craving set in. And… just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. Yeah. They make World of Warcraft action figures. DAMMIT! I keep thinking Amy is going to stop by the courthouse on her way home from work to file the divorce papers. Still, as far as addictions go, it is certainly not the most expensive in the world. I’d write more but I am working on this cool display for my Draenei paladin… Well and I have to reinforce the front door to keep out the relentless legions of ladies that all want to get a piece of this action. If I tell them that I’ve got my Paladin to Level 46 and I’m rocking the Vanquisher’s Sword with Fiery Weapon enchantment does it make it better or worse? They are in a frenzy right now. Probably should keep that a secret…

No comments: