Goodbye, 2008!

So, it is times like this that inevitable cause you to look back on the year that was and begin to focus your attention on the year to come. Quite frankly, I’m ready to get rid of 2008 and put it behind me. 2008 was pretty crappy. With the whole “economic downturn,” struggling with high gas prices, and constantly being reminded how mired in trouble our country is in, I’m ready to move on to the promise of a new year.
Things weren’t all bad. I’ve made massive strides in my comic book career, having more comics actually hit the shelves and several more projects in the works. Secret Invasion rocked comic book stores. Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and The Incredible Hulk ruled the box office. The New York Giants won the Super Bowl in February and then turned around the next season and won 12 games and is in the playoffs with a number one seed. Prison Break continued to prove why it is one of the best shows on television. And games like Tomb Raider: Underworld, Rock Band 2, and Star Wars: The Force Unleashed kept me glued to my XBOX 360.
Still, I am tired of struggling. I’m tired of living from paycheck to paycheck. It seems like things that Amy and I have done have kept up focusing on the future. Finally, I am hoping that 2009 will be the year when the future finally gets here. I can’t tell you how excited I am to finally have Amy and I advancing our careers. I am hoping that 2009 can see me making the conversion to writing full time.So please join me in ringing out the old and welcoming the new. So long, 2008. I cannot say that you will be missed. And for all my bloggers, as always, I hope the best of your past is the worst of your future. I’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet. See everyone next year!!!

Merry Christmas to Everyone!

I’m taking some time out of my day off to send along my annual holiday wishes to friends, co-workers and family so the time doesn’t slip away. I hope everyone has had a great year. We here at the Foley household are doing quite well and I figure now is the best time to get everyone caught up this year.
It seems like over the last few years, Amy and I have been focusing on our plan. We have been planning for our future. Well, finally, all those plans are paying off and we are focusing more on the future rather than the plan for the future. We are both making huge strides in our perspective careers. While 2008 was a bit of a struggle at times, I truly feel that 2009 is shaping up to be one of our best years to date.
Looking back on 2008, I think that I have officially slogged my way through my last year at my 9-to-5 job at Reasor’s. I love the people that I work with but the job itself is less than satisfying and, with each passing day, I find myself longing for my true path. It is steady, reliable work and I am guaranteed my paycheck every two weeks… but it is just not what I am destined to do.
My light at the end of the tunnel is Amy’s nursing school. She continues to dominate at school, making excellent grades and establishing lots of network contacts with her clinicals. And let’s face it. Gaining a job as a LPN is not going to be difficult. Amy has levels of compassion that I am not capable of and while she is still early in her planning, she wants to become a SANE nurse – that stands for Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. I want you to think about the type of person that particular profession would take. Imagine a woman that has experience possibly the most traumatic experience of her life and Amy wants to be that kind and helpful hand of reassurance that says, “I’m going to help you through this and my what I am going to do for you will convict the man that did this to you.” That takes a special person. And I write stories involving muscle men in capes and spandex… Wow.
So she is on the downhill slope with her schooling. When this happens (I am going to say in April), I will either quit or cut back to two days a week at Reasor’s and focus on writing full time – which I will be able to do with her having the steady paycheck.
This dovetails me into my next segment. I believe that I have turned a major corner with my comic book career. Having hooked up with Campfire Comics and continuing to work with past companies like Arcana Studios and a surprise job from MVCreations this past year, I am continuing to write funny books for a living. I had the Penance: Trial of the Century comic released in stores this year. I am not certain on the sales but Internet buzz was really good for the story. I also had a script I was involved with released on a DVD that was sold at Wal-Mart. I remember walking through the store and seeing it on the shelves, saying, “My comic is on that DVD.” That is pretty frickin’ cool. And I could not be happier.
I think it is rare for people to find their true calling and it is even rarer to be able to make a living at it. So typing away doing stories, either costumed superheroes, sword-and-sorcery fantasy, adapting classic fiction, or presenting a modern retelling of ancient myths, this is the path that has chosen me and I could not be happier to walk it.
Despite being pressured by working a forty-hour workweek and trying to get my pages done while working, when I am writing, I am at my happiest. So if I drop off the grid every once in a while and if you don’t hear from me, it is probably because I am hip deep in a script. I cannot wait to tell everyone about the projects I have forthcoming.
The kids are all doing very well at Osage. I am happy to have everyone at the same school to save on gas prices. Alex (now 12-years-old) played basketball again this year and is continuing to excel at his drawing. I think we are going to post some of his work on eBay just to see if anything might happen. (Even if it sells for a dollar, he is officially paid as an artist!)
As he gets older Jason (10-years-old) becomes more and more like me everyday. (God help him.) He has struggled a bit this year with his anxiety attacks but we are using a double-headed attack to help him cope with this. What frustrates me the most is that he is ten. No kid his age should have anxiety.
Lauren (5-years-old) wakes up genuinely excited for school. When the kids were out of school with the ice storm, she was extremely disappointed. I tell her to hug her brothers hoping her exuberance will rub off on them. She has become quite girly overnight and is concerned with her hair and dressing up like a princess. She certainly thinks that she runs the household.
So that is the official report from the desk of Ryan. We have a good family life. I would be lying if I said I could be happier. We don’t have any problems a lottery win wouldn’t cure. Career-wise, I am on my way. Amy is right behind me. The kids are good. No serious health problems. The bills are paid. We aren’t starving and we have heat in the winter and cool in the summer. Only my nightmarish addiction to Marvel Legends Action Figures continue to torment the family causing an inevitable divorce or a massive sale on eBay about ten minutes after I am buried in the ground. But if that is the worst of the problems, we are doing pretty good.
My only real complaint is that this year has seen my relationships stretched with my friends because of distance and time. Life pulls everyone in different directions. It is an unfortunate side effect of life and career… but hopefully letters like this help me maintain my contact.
My mom used to say that Christmas loses its magic a little bit every year until you have children. And then when you have kids, it all comes rushing back. There are all sorts of presents under the tree. Amy is baking, filling the house with great smells. We watch movies like Elf, Fred Claus, The Grinch, Jingle All the Way, and Home Alone. The kids are bursting at the seams with excitement. Man, it is just a great time. There’s a lot of positive energy flowing around in the house and my biggest struggle is denying the kids the chance to open the presents early. I hope that you and your family are just as good and happy. Have a great holiday. Embrace the spirit of this wonderful season. And my ultimate wish for everyone getting this little note is the same as always:

May the best of your past be the worst of your future…

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Birthdays, Weather, and Other Such Things…

I’ve been out of touch for a few days and there are a few things to catch my fellow bloggers up on.

The Birthday: On the 10th, I celebrated my 34th birthday. “Celebrated” is kind of a loosely used word. Because of a minor bout of food poisoning, I spent most of the morning on the couch under a mound of blankets and the second half… Well, you don’t have to stretch your imagination too far. And given how last year we were hit with a major ice storm that knocked out the power for a week, I’m on a real birthday cold streak.
And I have found that when dealing with birthdays and that second number eclipses the first, you tend to look back and wonder where the years have gone. But I’m not laboring or lamenting about it.

A Really Slow News Day: So clearly NewsOK.com (an offshoot of The Oklahoman) is experiencing a pretty slow news day on the 12th because of the article that was posted on the web and was available in that day's printed issue.
It was an article all about some no-talent hack that has bribed his way into the comic industry by blackmailing publishers with compromising pictures and committing nightmarish amounts of extortion and plagiarism.
Check it out... Click Here

Weather: I know. When you have resorted to talking about the weather, the party is pretty much over. But seriously, you guys. American humorist Will Rogers (who’s home town in about twenty-five miles from me) coined the phrase, “If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait five minutes and it will change.” On Sunday the 14th, we saw a record high of 75 degrees and then in the space of a few hours we were hit by sleet and freezing rain that left the roads hazardous to travel. The next day we saw highs that didn’t get out of the teens.
So the ice storm, if you can really call it that, has left the kids out of school for the last three days and Amy struggling with cabin fever. I can deal with staying in the house for days at a time but Amy can’t take it. And as one of my favorite novels once said, “The only thing worse than caging a kender, is being in a cage with a kender.”
Kind of the same deal. Thank goodness the schools opened back up and Amy was able to get out of the house.

More information coming soon. Keep in touch. Only one week to Christmas!

Taking A Little Extra Time for a Good Belly Laugh…

I love to laugh. I know a lot of people might say that but it seems like not everyone lives it. Laughter is very important to me and just as important I like to make people laugh. I think laughter is infectious that can change the entire atmosphere of a location. This brings us to my “Quotes of the Week.”
At my job, I have a clipboard hanging up when you walk in the department that I place a quote for my fellow employees. I’ve been doing it for well over a year now. Often, the quotes can be insightful. I have quoted Mother Theresa and Dr. Martin Luther King. Sometimes, they are topical relating to the season or current events. But when possible, I like to use humorous quotes.
Jack Handey, Demetri Martin and Lewis Black are great sources for quotes. But I found an anonymous quote that was a perfect follow up for Mother Theresa. And the first time I read it, I peed a little bit. I now humbly present that quote for you. Spread it around, use it as you see fit…
“I hope when I die, I go peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”

Cashin’ Checks and Giggling All The Way to the Bank

I have often talked about how I giggle like a little girl every time I cash a comic book paycheck. I feel like I am playing with the house’s money. I think, “I can’t believe they pay me for this…” But some recent events have put some things into perspective for me. So stay with me as I take you on a magical journey down a yellow brick road. But be forewarned. Much like Dorothy’s path, it is a bit of a winding road…
In Mick Foley’s book Foley is Good, he talks about the unprecedented number of people that never pick up a book again after they get out of education. It is actually quite disgusting. Think of this, if a book sells a million copies, it is a superstar best seller. If a movie only sells a million tickets, it is a flop. For someone to read a 700-page book, it can be quite intimidating. This is why I am so impressed with kids who read the last four books of the Harry Potter series. So if reading a 700-page book can be intimidating, imagine writing one… Now I will scale it back a little bit.
Over the last few months, I have been writing 80-page graphic novels. That is it is 80 pages of art. The scripts for these books usually run close to 100 pages of type, not counting character profiles and visual guides for my artist. I love to type on the computer but I prefer to edit from a hard copy. So when I edit during my lunch hour at my 9-to-5 job, I walk into the break room at my work and drop the hard copy on the table. Many people – especially the high school kids – are tremendously put off by the size of the script. Most people are intimidated to read a 100-page script, much less write one.
And because of that, I realize that what I do is pretty darn special… because not everyone can do what I do. I am not saying that my job is hard because it does come rather easily to me. Could anyone write comics? With the right training and mentoring, it is possible but I cannot see a person doing it for a living unless they truly love it. Holding yourself at that keyboard is something that is done out of love. And if your heart isn’t in it, you shouldn’t be.
My mom used to always complain about how much professional athletes are paid. However, I could put every single person in the state of Oklahoma on a football field and say, “Tackle New York Giants’ running back Brandon Jacobs and I will pay you $500,000.” Yeah, tackle this 264-lbs freight train. How many could do it? Not many. Which is why they should get paid the big bucks. And I won’t even talk about athletes contributions to the economy… Still, if you can do something that not a lot of people can do, you should be compensated financially for it.
Now, just to prove my point, let’s take it in a different direction. I work right now in a job at my local grocery store. I don’t make minimum wage but I like to call it “minimal wage.” I’ve worked in the place for a while and occasionally you work with these employees that think, “This place would fall apart without me.” At one time, in my youth, I thought I was that employee. But the truth is it wouldn’t. Right now, if you think you might be this employee, sorry, you are not. With or without you, the show will go on.
I like to say that it is just a grocery store. It is not a nuclear missile silo. We are not making heart and lung machines. And as movie producer Les Grossman once said, “A nutless monkey could do your job. Seriously. A nutless monkey.” We had a new employee come in and she was trained in a week. She has now been involved for three months and is doing an excellent job. The translation is that I could be easily replaced. I freely admit it. So I probably should not be paid a tremendous amount of money.
Of course, when I see how much money the company makes with so little compensation for its employees… Well, it doesn’t really inspire me to work very hard. With an hourly wage and no profit sharing, I get paid the same if we have 200 customers an hour or 2. And I think this is a major downfall for many companies. I am smart enough to recognize this problem but I am not intelligent enough to fix the problem or suggest a way to improve the American business landscape. I write stories involving muscle guys in spandex and capes. But sometimes just acknowledging a problem is the first step…

Saying “Au Revoir” to Work, Free Time and the Family…

Ah the national obsession that has become video games. My family is a gaming household. I freely admit it. Nintendo Wii. Nintendo DS. Nintendo Game Cube. And that is just my kids. I have my occasional PC game but I am a die-hard XBOX 360 fan. And like all gamers, there are certain series that capture your attention. Everyone has a different one but there is always that one game – that one series – that captivates, mesmerizes, and leaves you salivating outside the steps of the local Game Stop, stalking employees.
For me, that game is TOMB RAIDER.
November saw the release of TOMB RAIDER UNDERWORLD, which is the eighth game in the series and the third for the XBOX 360 console. Needless to say, this has been consuming a lot of my free time. A lot. I mean a lot. So much so that I have gotten the stare.
You all know it. The temperature on the other end of the couch drops a few degrees. You can feel the two glowing pinpricks of red light that were once eyes burning pure hatred into the side of your neck. There is that sharp, dissatisfied exhale of breath. And it is always at the point where you have to make a death-defying leap on your motorcycle or when a nasty, giant spider is bearing down on you. And the cold, emotionally detached voice says, “Are you going to play that game all night?”
But this game is frickin’ intense as Lara smooth calls the situation, “I need Thor’s hammer to kill a god…” And she doesn’t understand why this consumes my life so. For those of you out there that are uninitiated, check the links at the bottom and I think you will understand the obsession.
Gotta go. More caverns to explore. More monsters to fight. More tombs to raid.

Official Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9l3tfRfLXw
Game Play Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVIk8B9XdG4

Family Traditions & Gearing Up for the Next Holiday

It is strange what can spark memories and trigger emotions. I have always felt that my “first” family always seemed a little too fancy for me. On Thanksgiving, my mom would set the table with full place settings, cloth napkins, and even the little ring holders for said napkins. It was always nice if a bit much but I always came away saying that it is better to be able to fit in with either the cloth napkin crowd or the paper towel crowd when necessary. My mom always held this dream of these Norman Rockwellian holiday experiences… and I was always afraid that it would fall short and she would be disappointed…
My mom has been gone for several years now and my “first” family is now scattered to the winds. So I have taken my wife’s family as my “second” family. The gatherings are always loud and crowded but there is also a lot of laughter and jokes. It is a downhome, family atmosphere. But because of the size of the gatherings, it is very hard for everyone to sit down together. So it is more paper plates and plastic forks and lots and lots of food. It is a great atmosphere…
And yet, this year, I find myself longing for that community that comes from everyone sitting around the table together. My mom would always do the cheesy, cliché passing around the table where everyone would say what they are thankful for. And while I felt that the cloth napkins and dining together was too fancy (at the time), for some reason this year, I find myself missing that. Strange.
I’ve always said that if I won the lottery, I would build a small “community center” like the town of Adair has that would have a full kitchen, bath facilities, and enough space to allow big communal meetings without impinging on anyone’s home. (This would double as the place to play the weekly poker game too.) I think that would be a really nice thing to have…
Still, I am feeling good about this year. I do have a lot to be thankful for. We are probably now close to 80% done with our Christmas shopping, I didn’t gorge myself too much, and leftovers were minimal (so I am not eating turkey for a week and a half). I did have to work in the morning but I just kept telling myself that this is the last year that I have to do it.
I hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving. Just think, Christmas is only 24 days away…

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

”I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger

I am posting this a day early because I am working tomorrow morning and I am not certain if I will have access to the computer later in the day with all the feasting and family time. Yes, I have to work. It is one of the unfortunate things about working in a grocery store. Still, it is mainly just setting everything up and then twiddling thumbs. Most of our customers are the quick in-and-out types that realize, “Holy crap! We forgot the Cool Whip!” They are not picking up a lot of vegetables. So it should be a pretty good day.
I’ll be out by 2:00 and then it is off to watch football at my sister-in-law’s and a semi-late feast in the afternoon. So I miss the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I think I’ll survive. I’m thinking about hauling over the XBOX 360 for a round of Guitar Hero and Rock Band for fun. We will see how that goes. I hope everyone has a great celebration on your end. I’ve got a lot to be thankful for this year. More soon.

A Sad Day in the Life of Ryan…

For all my friends and the legions of faithful followers that encompass the Foley Nation, it is a sad day. Some of you probably already know. I apologize. I should have contacted you directly rather than let you read about it in the supermarket checkout line. But the rumors are true.
Sometime life finds a way to kick you when you are down. This is the first year that I experienced the trifecta. I go undrafted by the Giants, again… Barack Obama does not choose me as his running mate… And this week I learned that I was officially NOT named the Sexiest Man Alive according to People Magazine.
Instead they decide to give it to pretty boy actor Hugh Jackman. It is a shame that I like him so much as Wolverine in the X-Men movies. I’m not asking for an official boycott or anything. I appreciate all the kind words and well wishes. Hey, there is always next year, right? I’m going to go lay down and cry for a little while…

De-Motivating Your Employees. You Do So At Your Own Peril…

When it comes to regular surfers of the RMF Blog, I know the numbers of high powered CEOs, executives, and managers are not exactly legion. However, if you are in a position where you have employees that call you “boss” or if you ever plan on being in a position to be called “boss,” listen up. Words of wisdom don’t come around often and you need to be attentive when they do.
Take two fighters that equally matched in the tale of the tape – same height, same weight, same reach, and even same technique. There are always intangibles in a fight. You can call them an “X Factor.” That number one X Factor is motivation.
Jimmy Johnson – head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, Miami Dolphins, and Miami Hurricanes – is a great motivator. All coaches have to be. In athletic contests, motivation can often be the only difference between a Super Bowl ring and missing the playoffs entirely. Johnson had a simple philosophy and one that I greatly adhered to when I was in a position of management. If you perform on the field, you get better treatment.
Some may say that is not particularly fair and equal but I’m guessing that those complaining about equal treatment are not the ones high up on the performance scale. The rule is simple. If you have an employee that goes beyond the call of duty, shows up every day, doesn’t call in sick, is never late (often early), hasn’t taken a vacation in two years, works and plays well with others, can work without being supervised, and performs above and beyond… LEAVE THAT EMPLOYEE ALONE.
And since motivation is critical, you might think that no motivation would be terrible. It is. But want to know something worse? De-motivation. When changes occur that actually de-motivate an employee, your business will suffer. Tremendously. Unhappy employees lead to lesser performance and apathy. It generates a terrible “I don’t care” attitude. It fosters a “just looking out for myself” environment. If you are a boss or when you become one, don’t ask an employee to do something you are not willing to do yourself and if they perform above and beyond your average employee, make sure never to de-motivate them.

It might end up costing you an exceptional employee…

Living with an Addict…

I have spoken openly about how I don’t understand addiction. To me, if you attempted to quit something and found that you could not, then it would be all the more reason to quit. Still, I am thankful not to have too many addictions in my life. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. Okay, I have a slight addiction to comics and action figures but that is not necessarily a bad thing.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your point of view), when you get married, you find yourself living in harmony and consort with your partner. Suddenly, even if you do not have an addiction, you find yourself struggling and coping with your spouse’s addictions. And to me, this is ten times worse because you can only help a person get over their addictions. You are not necessarily in control. And that person has to want to quit.
My fellow bloggers, America, we are all friends here. We can be open and honest. In a way, it helps alleviate my pain to get it off my chest. I love my wife to death but she has a crippling addiction that manifests during this time of year. As much as it pains me to write about this, I have to be honest. It consumes her to a point where she is no longer herself.
My wife is addicted to Black Friday.
For those that need explanation, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving that official kicks off the Christmas shopping season. The deals are enormous. Every business is trying to draw in the shoppers. People stand in line overnight, gorged on turkey and probably still a little drunk, to get a great price on a Widescreen plasma TV or the top-of-the-line computer.
And this day is Amy’s Super Bowl. She begins salivating. Any mention of the Internet sends her in a furious scramble to see if any more Black Friday adds have been posted… even if she was checking even an hour before. She meticulously plots her route, plans to get all the best deals, and prepares to fight in mortal combat with the throngs of shoppers all looking for the sales. She is positively giddy the night before. She barely sleeps. She will be out the door before 5 a.m.
And what is my job during this momentous morning? Stay at home and watch the kids. Which translates into sleeping late trying to gestate the impossible amounts of turkey, pumpkin pie, and cranberry sauce from the day before. It’s a tough job but I manage somehow.
And as this time of year is overflowing with the Christmas cheer, I have tried to fend off Amy for as long as I could. Like a battling Qui-Gon Jinn, I have had to work my green lightsaber furiously against the twin blades of her Darth Maul lightsabers. That angry buzzsaw sound issues through the house and as mightily as I have struggled, she has punched me in the chin, pivoted, and put the bottom blade of the double-bladed saber through my gullet. Today, on the evening of the 12th of November, the Christmas tree went into place. Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas decorations but much like a contemplative Charlie Brown, Christmas just seems to be coming earlier and earlier every year…

Ah, The Crisp Autumn Air…

With the fall back for daylight savings time and sunset registering around 5:30, now more than ever the changing of the seasons has registered. The air conditioners have been shut off. The leaves are turning and falling already. You run hotter water in the shower and just bask in the comfort of the warmth. (Is there anything worse than getting out of the shower and immediately starting to sweat?) Personally, I glad summer is over for the year.
Still, during this time of year, morning becomes especially painful because you are snuggled warm in the bed in that warm pocket of covers and that outside world is oh so cold… you just have to hit the snooze button a few more times.
Still, this is my favorite weather. It is cold in the morning. Not cold enough to need a coat but more jacket weather. But then the sun comes out and if the wind isn’t too strong, you don’t need that jacket in the afternoon.
So I guess you could say that it is “jacket on” weather in the morning and “jacket off” weather in the afternoon. Ladies, tell your men that you would like to celebrate jacket off weather with a hands-on celebration. I think it will help turn an average humdrum day into an extra special one for your man…

(I know that joke took a long time to get there but it was totally worth it!)

Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason. –Tom Dobbs, Man of the Year

Many people have said that this election might be one of the most important of my generation. I cast my vote back on Saturday to avoid the crowds and the long lines. Whether the candidate I voted for wins or not, whoever is elected President of these great United States, I hope that that person can bring about real change.
I hope they can get past all the partisan politics crap that slows down true progress.
I hope that they will keep their campaign promises.
I hope that they leave the country better than they found it.
I hope they institute the Pickens Plan.
I hope they can fix the economy.
I hope they can look forward.
I hope they bring real change. I hope. I hope…

Rattling the Pillars of Academia… Again.

So on October 30th, I had the pleasure of being a “special guest” and giving two lectures. The last time around, when was first able to add lecturer to my resume, I discussed comic books as a form of literature to a small group of a dozen ladies all wanting to be librarians. This was an older crowd – older but not old. They were pretty close to my age when it came to my demographic. This time around was slightly different…
This time around I spoke at Osage Elementary School. I was speaking to a class room full of six graders discussing Greek mythology and my second lecture had to be moved to the cafeteria to accommodate all the fifth and sixth graders to discuss comic books as literature. I think I was more nervous regarding speaking in front of the kids. I kept telling myself, “Don’t drop any F-Bombs. No F-Bombs.” I am kidding. Actually this was a pretty cool experience.
I discussed how super hero comic books are the modern mythology of our era. When I asked “Who can tell me how Spider-Man got his powers?” everyone raised their hands. I compared the characters of Achilles and Wolverine and Hermes and the Flash.
There were lots of questions asked and everyone was well behaved. I think at that age it is a tremendous sign of interest. When one of the kids asked me what my favorite comic book was I tried not to geek out. Instead, I was fairly reserved and said, “The Avengers,” which caused a ripple through the audience.
I tried to relate by using Harry Potter and Star Wars references, which I got good responses. I made sure to wear an Iron Man shirt to show the kids I was cool and not some stuffy college type guy that would talk down to them or talk at them but instead a regular guy that would talk to them. Afterwards, I got high fives from kids. One person wanted my autograph. I was told I was awesome. Coming from a sixth grader, I guess that is a pretty cool thing to be thought of as cool.

It was a lot of fun and hopefully they will ask me back to talk next year. Of course, by that time, I will hopefully have more books out there so I can say, “Go to this website and you can buy the following books…” I’ll have to do a flyer/handout for them with the website address. Yes, shamelessly shilling and whoring out my work for sales! Mwwhahahaha! I’ve become a real writer!!! Watch you butt, Dan Brown! I’m coming for you!

Birthday Celebrations

So for the next month and a half, Amy and I become the same age. (I know technically that is not true but it is the only time that she cannot say that she is younger than me.) Yesterday was Amy’s birthday and we celebrated by going down to Tulsa with her friends and a small cluster of mine.
A good time was had by all. There was an incident involving urination in a Sonic cup while on the turnpike but other than that, the night went off pretty much without a hitch. When you do things, hopefully, you learn from your past experiences. For instance, last time we learned that Brittany and Amy should not try to “race” Heath. Seriously, it was like sprinters versus a marathoner. And even if they won a small dash around a corner, Heath was better conditioned to win the entire race.
Do you understand what I’m talking about? The race is a drinking metaphor, people! Anyway, so I learned a few more lessons this time around that will continue to improve future outings. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, right?
Thankfully, we were able to leave our kids with a babysitter and were able to get out for an evening. I’ve talked about this in the past and you need time to relax every now and again. Plus, I paid for the entire trip with comic book money and that is always a big advantage.
Now, I have always said that I enjoy the simple things in life. I would much rather have a nice steak, a good pizza, or an ice cold Monster to a fancy meal and a $100 bottle of wine. I wear T-shirts and sneakers. I don’t even own a pair of dress shoes. I’ve said that if I won the lottery, I’d still shop at Wal-Mart.
Amy has a very similar attitude. With Amy it is Mickey Mouse and John Deere t-shirts, jeans, and hair in a ponytail. So on these rare occasions that we do get to go out to have fun, Amy puts it on. She wears it. Fancy make up. Her hair is immaculate. And in a style of dress that clearly more for me than her, she let’s the “girls” breathe out the top a bit… if you know what I’m saying.
And the first time we went out with her dolled up like this, she got extremely self-conscious because our waiter was checking her out. Even when her friends piled in the van this time and saw her, they were like “Oh wow, you have cleavage!”
Of course, I saw this as a good thing. I was proud to showcase my beautiful wife and let the world see her through the same eyes that I get to see her. Obviously getting gussied up for a trip to Wal-Mart doesn’t happen very often. But I love it when my wife really goes the extra mile and puts her beauty on display.
It’s just not part of a regular routine. Which is probably best because even after a decade of marriage, I find it difficult to carry a conversation with her with out my eyes dipping below the horizon… if you know what I’m saying.
So a good time was had by all. So now, I just have Jason’s to get through in early November and I am out of the birthday death zone where we have four birthdays in the space of a month. I can quit my overnight job at the Kwik-E-Mart to pay for all the gifts. But wait, how far away is Christmas? Dammit. I better get back to work. Might as well practice on my closer for the customers. “Thank you. Come again.”

Finding Beauty in the World

Set sail to sea, But pulled off course, By the light of golden treasure
How could he know, This new dawn's light, Would change his life forever?

How can I be lost, If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold. How come it's got so cold?

How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive.
So how can I blame you, When it's me I can't forgive?

Now, look and study the verse above. Having not told you where this passage comes from, one might consider this to be the work of an award-winning poet or a talented, introspective artist. I think far too often we make snap judgments about people. What if I told you that this wonderful verse of poetry came from a tattooed, dark, heavy metal band?
The following passage is from Metallica’s The Unforgiven III from their new CD Death Magnetic. Having enjoyed the other two “Unforgiven” songs, I was quick to skip to this song in the track listings for a listen. I was blown away by the lyrics of the song because they are flat out beautiful. Obviously someone like my dad is not going to listen to Metallica. It is just not going to happen. And yet, if I just email him the lyrics without showcasing the music, chances are pretty good he would see the beauty in the song.
For all my blog readers, you can find the complete song lyrics in the link to the right.

Beauty is out there, boys and girls. Sometimes it is in places that you never expect or wouldn’t even think to look. Have a good day. I’m gonna go look for some more beauty. Go thou and do likewise…

The most important form of respect is self-respect.

**Warning: The following blog entry contains mature subject matter and may not be suitable for all readers.**
So on Tuesday, I made a trip to the Wal-Mart in Pryor to pick up a few items here and there and, as I always do, I made a trip down the toy aisle hoping to find some new Marvel Legends figures. To no avail. If you have seen the “Creation Station” – the desk that I work from, you can see that clearly I have an obsession. Still, so as I am looking at the Iron Man figures and checking out all the new Clone Wars figures, I hear a couple arguing.
But it is arguing where you don’t know if it is kids fooling around or something serious. Then I hear a female voice say, “Get your hands off of me!”
And then, I hear a distinct male voice say, “Give me my car keys!”
So at this point, I am coming around the corner when I hear the sound. We’ve all heard it, mostly in movies. There is that distinct sound like when Rocky is in the slaughterhouse punching the sides of beef. And I hear this girl cry out in pain.
Luckily, I am not the only one to hear this. Wal-Mart employees swarm the guy and I can hear a manager calling on her walkie-talkie.
For a moment, part of me froze. I wondered if I wanted to get involved. It is amazing what all blazes through your mind in a fraction of a second. Is he armed? Would I be called to testify? It is Pryor, Oklahoma but still you never know. At one point, they came past me and I should have said something to the guy. Part of me was afraid I would knee him in the groin for beating up on his girlfriend and then I would have been in trouble. And part of me would have really lost sleep over this thing. And then I heard it – the statement that absolved me of any guilt.
“He didn’t hit me.”
Yeah, she categorically denied it up and down. Man, I hope they had it on camera or something.
Okay, so, number one. You don’t hit a woman. Ever. It is just not done. Never, ever, ever in my relationship with Amy (or any woman!) have I ever considered hitting her. It is just not done. Maybe it was the way my mom raised me.
I joke with girls at work about how, “I’ll hit a woman. And you should thank me for treating you as an equal!” And then I usually follow it up with a jackhole statement like, “Everyone’s for the ERA until it is time to pick up a check.”
But I’m kidding. I have always done my best to treat women as equals but, still, you never EVER hit a woman…
And then here is this retard that takes a punch from her boyfriend and then says he didn’t hit her. This is just begging for it. She is enabling this violence to continue to rain down upon her.
If I ever hit Amy, I would fully expect her to cry, tell me she is sorry, probably make love to me, and then let me fall into a nice, deep restful sleep… Then I wake up sewn into the bed sheets and her standing over me rattling a can of gasoline. Or, my penis carefully placed between a pair of garden shears… And her spitting venom past her teeth saying, “If you ever hit me again…”
I know we shouldn’t perpetuate this whole violence begetting violence culture but, c’mon. If this woman will take a punch and then defend her boyfriend, isn’t that just inviting him to do it again and again and again?
I cannot understand it. And nor do I wish to. I guess if you are dumb enough to let them hit on you and take it, maybe you are getting what you deserve. If you are in a relationship like this and reading this, f**king leave. I’m not trying to be insensitive or cold but show some respect for yourself at least. Why is this so hard for so many people?

It just seems like common sense to me…

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

Still limping along with a dial-up connection, I can honestly say I don’t rot on the Internet as much as most. Plus my work on my current script keeps me pretty focused. Still I like to surf around. Ever Googled yourself? (I know that sounds dirtier than it really is). And while I have this blog, I don’t consider myself a blogger. Mainly because this is junk about my so-called life sprinkled with a modicum of humor and the occasional nugget of wisdom.
And while I have officially entered the creative arena as a comic book reader, it is still pretty weird to see my name on a person’s blog talking about my comic work. It is almost surreal. And then when those words are singing your praises, I have to giggle just a little bit. I know, 33-year-old guys shouldn’t giggle but I do.
I think that anytime you something creative, you are really putting your soul on display. Writing is probably the most of all these as I often infuse my stories with a small piece of my soul. Some stories get more of my soul than others. But you are putting something out there and you always wonder, “Will they like it?”
As I was scripting Tales of Penance: Trial of the Century, I felt like I was really working on something special. This was a unique and original concept for a genre that can often be mired in rehashed or outright hacked ideas. As this is a murder mystery at its core, you often wonder if you are delving out the clues too soon or not enough. But at the end of the day, I want my readers to feel like they are getting their money’s worth.
Because of my current financial situations, I have been scrimping here and there and cutting back on my pull list. So if I am going to plunk down money on the counter, I want to come away satisfied. Well a blog called Awesomed by Comics has given my most recently published book a pretty damn fine review.
You can check it out by clicking here.
After reading reviews like this, I often think, “Hmmm… Maybe I do know what I am doing. Maybe I can turn this into a career after all.” Doing that would certainly make me a happier person. And by pursuing my dream, that makes me a better father, better husband, and a better person. But to do something like this, you have to put your heart and soul out there and you never really know how the public will react. I anticipated. I expected. But I didn’t really know.
And when it does happen, well, it really is one of the best feelings on earth. It’s right up there with… boobs. ;-)

Like Sands Through The Hourglass...

Where does the time go? I often wonder that when I look back on a blog that hasn’t been updated in a month. Then I look back at 50+ hours a week because we lose 40% of our workforce on medical absences. Naturally, this does not make me a happy camper. In the Fall and Winter, business slacks of tremendously at the grocery store that I work at to support the family. But instead I am working lots of overtime. I guess I cannot complain about the money… but this detracts me from writing, which is what makes me really happy.
And the writing side of my career is really starting to pick up speed. If Amy was out of school and getting a steady paycheck, I would actually be willing to chuck it all and just start writing full time. Still, I am smack in the middle of writing a new script with a new contract so I am very excited. I try to ward off the brain slugs by whipping booty with my new Force powers in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed on the XBOX 360. It certainly helps me keep my sanity.
My little girl turned five a few days ago and my oldest son is turning 12 tomorrow, which puts him on the cusp of being a teenager.
Time flies. As Ferris Beuller once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it.”

I’m gonna go look around. Go thou and do likewise…

Remembering a Tragedy

I would be remiss to let this day go by without posting a comment. September 11th. 9-11. The morning that rocked America. The day that changed the world.
It hardly seems like seven years has passed since that terrible day. I remember watching the second plane fly into Tower 2 on live TV. I remember parking myself in front of the television for two days. All those innocent souls that lost their lives… And I do mean innocent. They were just people at work. To this day, I cannot understand why the towers were the targets. And moreover, I cannot understand what this enemy wants.
I mean, if we were to go to the head of this organization and say, “You win. We give up,” what do they want? I mean they hate America but I bet they love our cars, our fashion, our movies, our computers, our technology, and our money. Or is that it? Is it the fact that they hate our success? I just don’t understand it. And I have never had anyone able to successfully explain it to me.
It is one thing to go to war with a country. It is another thing to target civilians. I just don’t see the honor in it and I certainly don’t see the strategy behind it.
I remember the fear and the helplessness in the days that followed. I wondered what would happen next. But then suddenly, as I drove down the highways, I noticed flags on cars. “God Bless America” on the portable marquee signs outside businesses. And all the anger and hatred that seemed to be consuming our nation was put on the back burner. It’s like in football. Everyone in that huddle all has the same goal: The End Zone. That is all that matters. It doesn’t matter how we get there, just that we get there. It is a unity that you cannot understand unless you have been in that huddle.
Suddenly, all of America was in our own huddle. Everyone was looking in the same direction. And the end goal, that end zone, was the same: Secure our nation, protect our people, and obliterate those responsible for the attacks. Apparently these guys never studied Pearl Harbor. A sleeping giant was awoken.
Today, now seven years removed from that terrible tragedy, it just doesn’t seem like we have come as far as I would have hoped.
I have often said that we did not defeat the Soviet Union through strength of arms. We beat them because their economy collapsed. Have you seen the Middle East? It is nothing but oil and sand. If we no longer needed foreign oil, their economy would collapse. How much do you think they would hate us then?
[Insert bad stereotypical accent here.] “Death to America!”
“Okay, Ahmed. We don’t really need your oil anymore. We’re gonna take all our money and go home.”
[Again, stereotypical accent] “Wait, wait, my friend!”
Yeah, watch those tides suddenly change. Hydrogen cars. Electric fuel cells. Wind power. Solar power. The time has frickin’ come already. Big Oil is a lumbering dinosaur that needs to go extinct. The internal combustion engine needs to do the way of the T. Rex. If we could do that, we could end the war.
Note: I said “end” the war. I did not say “win.” Because when it comes to war, there are no winners. We need to show our enemies that it was wrong to attack us. We need to show them that we are not “the Great Satan.” And everyone’s priorities change when you can’t feed your children. If you want to cripple an enemy, you cripple their finances.
Global warming is real. We are killing the planet. Maybe this is the catalyst we need to take that giant leap forward that will heal the planet and help unite us as a people. Here is hoping for a better life, a better society, and a better planet. My kids deserve it. Today, of all days, I remember. And on today of all days, I hope… I hope…

My Comic Blog Interview

I know this posting is a month late but I forgot to include it earlier. Back in August, I did a blog interview for Tales of Penance: Trial of the Century. Clicking on the hyperlink will take you to the interview! Enjoy!

Surviving the Holiday

The grocery store where I work is definitely a seasonal location. Grand Lake has become the destination spot for the majority of the rich “south side” of Tulsa. It is a bit of a status symbol to say, “We have a house on Grand Lake.” So there are three major dates for the calendar. Fourth of July is the biggest, followed by Memorial Day and the closer is Labor Day. Thank goodness, Labor Day is now past us.
With Tulsa schools back in session, I am hoping that things will get back to a normal and more reasonable level. This means that I can spend less time exhausted after an eight hour shift and focus more of my energies towards my comic book career. I have discovered that I am truly happy when I am writing. That is the profession that I was created for and while it is a sometimes daunting and difficult task, I truly enjoy it. I really do.
After writing fight choreography for Greek warriors or plotting the monstrous abilities of the next undead horror for my next assignment, shucking onions and stocking potatoes just don’t seem to have the same effect on me.
Still, I love a lot of the people that I work with. There are all kinds of jokes and laughter and camaraderie. I’ve discovered that I am not there for the work. I’m there for the paycheck and the friendships. And after weekends like this one, I swear I see some of these people more than I see my own family.
But now, with the hustle and bustle of the summer season slowly winding down, good things are on the horizon. The weather is cooling off. (I don’t have to run the AC all day!) Television shows are getting ready to start airing new shows (PRISON BREAK STARTS TONIGHT!!!). Football season is right around the corner. (The Giants are defending their world championship title!) The kids are back in school. (My food bill should drop dramatically!) And I can turn my attention back to writing more, which helps my income level and makes me substantially happier. This in turn makes me a better husband, a better father, and a better friend. Thank goodness things are getting back to normal!

Always a Bride’s Maid, Never A Bride…

Some of you may have already heard. Some of you may have been waiting to hear it here first. Unfortunately, all I can say is that it is true. I was not chosen to be Barack Obama’s running mate. I know. I’m disappointed too.
It’s shaping up to be a pretty rough year. First, I go undrafted by the New York Giants… again. Apparently a six-minute forty-yard dash is not considered an NFL level of skill. It’s all political anyway… And now, Obama is not picking me to be the vice president. Maybe my plan to put the unemployed to work building houses for the homeless was too radical. Maybe it is the fact that I have a face for radio. Maybe it is the fact that I scream obscenities at anyone who disagrees with me. I suppose there is still a chance that the McCain camp might call but I’m not going to hold my breath.
No chance at a vice presidential bid. No chance of playing for the Giants this year. I guess I’ll resort to not voting and playing fantasy football with my guys from work. Hey, I got LaDanian Tomlinson in the draft. He’s a point machine. Maybe the Southside Shockers can go deep into the playoffs this year. Yeah, that’s the logo for my helmet. And I’m in pretty good company because other team names include The Rusty Trombones, The Ball Bags, and the Pink Pounders just to name a few.
Hey, in all my ramblings on this blog, I never claimed to be mature…

Genetic Dispositions, Parents, & The Choices We Make…

So, as many Americans, I have been pretty hooked into the Olympics. This is our first time to watch the competitions with our DVR and it tremendously improves the experience. And in the Beijing Olympics, there is no bigger name right now than Michael Phelps. Eight gold medals? That guy is an animal – and probably part dolphin if I had to choose a specific animal.
I was watching an interview with Phelps, his mother, and Bob Costas this morning. He spoke about his mother’s dedication to hard work and their family. He spoke openly about how he followed in the footsteps of his mother and followed her example.
I have always been interested in motivations of people. As a writer, you have to be. I am always curious as to why people do what they do. If you can understand the motivations of people, you can understand why they do what they do. You can understand them. You can relate to them and if you want to make a believable character, you have to make your characters relatable.
Obviously, the deviant problems seem to surface because they seem to be the most interesting. Why are some people alcoholics, sexaholics, chocoholics, or physical abusers, mental abusers, drug abusers, or – worst of all – serial killers? And why do some people follow the path of their parents and others break the cycle?
For instance, my mother was a lifelong smoker. And to this day, I cannot stand cigarettes. I have never smoked anything and I have zero desire to. In one of my comic book assignment, I fought to make the main character a non-smoker because I hate cigarettes so much. (My idea was rejected but I fought a good fight.) Given that my mom was a smoker, wouldn’t I be more inclined to be a smoker? Yet, I broke the cycle. My mom and dad were/are big drinkers. But I don’t drink. I’m not morally opposed to it or anything but my body just can’t take it anymore. But with parents as drinkers, shouldn’t I be more inclined to drink?
My mom and dad built two different homes together. You want to break a family apart and turn everyone against each other? Build a house together. I have told Amy that if we ever build a home, it will be a turnkey home. I won’t so much as pick up a hammer. Again, I broke the cycle. Maybe it is because all of these things are negative. Hmmm.
And yet, when I made the decision to change my career back in 2001 to become a full time father, I thought about having my mom at home when I would come home from school. There was something very comforting about having my mom waiting for me when I got off the bus. And while it was a hit for us financially for me to do so, I wanted one of us (Amy or I) home when the kids got there.
My dad was incredibly dedicated and a hard worker when it came to his job. And clearly, judging my work ethic during high school versus most high school kids these days, Dad’s dedication clearly rubbed off on me.
When you first become a parent, it is the scariest thing in the world. There is no training manual. No guidebook. You never know how what you are doing as a parent will affect your children down the road. All you can do is hope for the best.
But when I look around at my life, I see myself pursuing a dream with my writing and sacrificing to work at a job to pay the bills that is just not what I am supposed to be doing. Will my kids look back as see my example and chase their own dreams? Will it make them better people down the road? One can only hope…

"I’m Gonna Kill One of Them Doggone Kids…"

I was very saddened to learn of the passing of Bernie Mac this past weekend. I was really first introduced to Bernie through his television show, The Bernie Mac Show, that ran from 2001 to 2006. The show revolved around Bernie (playing himself) who is forced to raise his two nieces and nephew because of his sister’s substance abuse problem. In the show, Bernie served as the father figure and the “stay at home” dad. This was happening during the time that I had just switched my career and was taking care of my kids full-time. Because of that, his humor and the stories always hit home.
God bless syndication and my DVR. The show runs here on UPN at midnight so I record it and watch it at my leisure. Alex even has taken a liking to the show and we watch it together. Sometimes I think he laughs even harder than I do.
Of course, Bernie was great in his roles in the Ocean’s 11 franchise. He was certainly one of the funniest comedians I ever saw. I was saddened when Fox canceled his show but this kind of loss is really heart breaking.
He was only 50 years old and that is way too early to go.
You can read a great article on Bernie by clicking here.

The Bernie Mac Show was unique because Bernie would always break the “fourth barrier” and talk to his audience. He would always speak to “America” which was very cool.
Below are a few of the better quotes from his show:

Bernie Mac: I'm gonna kill one of them kids. [repeated line]

Bernie Mac: Oh, Lord! [repeated line]

Bernie Mac: Those are nice… real nice. [repeated line]

Wanda: Until you treat those kids like they're wanted, below this line [draws line on her waist] off limits.
Bernie Mac: But that's Bernie Mac's Puffs! Takin' away below the belt. Now THAT'S below the belt. It's extortion, I tell you, and I'm not having it. You can't blackmail this black male. Bernie Mac strong.

Bernie Mac: Jordan's gonna have a case of "assus beatus redus". That's Latin for I'm gonna beat his ass until it glows.

Bernie Mac: I would like to give these kids a good home. In fact, there's one a few miles away from here...

Bernie Mac [talking to girls at a slumber party]: She turned on the lights, and there... Hanging on the door was a bloody hook... From the last person who touched Bernie Mac's stereo without his permission. [Laughs. Nobody else does] But seriously, if y'all get hungry, go to a restaurant.

Bernie Mac: [to dog] Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?

Bernie Mac: Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch... [voice breaks] my James Brown.

Bernie, often closed his shows by talking to the camera, saying “Cut the camera off.” It was a shame that Fox did cut the camera off and now it is tragic that the camera has closed on Bernie’s life.
As Don Cheadle, said about his Ocean's co-star: "This is a very sad day for many of us who knew and loved Bernie. He brought so much joy to so many. He will be missed, but heaven just got funnier."

The Passing of a Legend

I often frequent an Internet website called The Comic Art Community where you can find all sorts of great artwork. I was there to look for images of the Invisible Woman to use as reference guides for a character going invisible in one of my scripts. And I saw an image that floored me. It was the image you see on the right.
I immediately went into a state of shock and started doing frantic Internet searches. Unfortunately, it was true. Comic book artist Michael Turner had passed away.
As I alluded to in a previous blog entry, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And Mike Turner’s art was a beauty for me to behold. I was a huge fan of his and was lucky enough to meet him at a comic book convention a few years ago. He did a sketch for me and autographed several of my Witchblade and Ballistic issues. A giant Sara Pezzini poster hangs in my comic book room and more Turner artwork adorned my bedroom for a time.
I was lucky enough to attend his drawing class at Defcon. I had already attended classes held by artist Marat Mychaels and Dan Fraga. I was surprised to turn around during the session and see Dan Fraga sitting behind me. Professionals wanted in on Turner’s secrets. He was just such a tremendous talent. Those autographed copies of mine aren’t in the best shape because I poured over them time and again to study and try to learn (i.e. copy) his drawing techniques. His artwork adorned my computer screen as much as Jim Lee. I will sorely miss his incredible artwork and from what other comic professional have said, he was a really nice guy too.
Unfortunately, I was a bit out of the loop. He passed away on June 27 after a long and heroic struggle with bone cancer. He was only 37 years old. His artwork will long outlive him and his legend will continue to grow. Of that I am sure.
Part of me considered selling my sketch of Ian Nottingham on eBay for about 1.25 milliseconds but that piece is just way too cool and too close to me. You can click on the following gallery to see a small sample of his tremendous artwork.

You will be missed, Michael Turner. You were an idol for me, a talent to aspire to. My heart goes out to your family. Rest in peace.

Yes, You CAN Go Home Again…

My very first comic book writing assignment was closing the book on MVCreations’ Masters of the Universe. At the time that I was hired to write the script, the entire creative team had no idea that it would be the final issue. And then things came to a dramatically screeching halt. It would have been different if the comic had been bad or the artwork sub-par but Masters was typically one of the first books I would read out of my weekly comic book bag. I was a fan long before I was an employee.
And then that magical day came and I was granted an opportunity. I’m not going to say that I hit the ball out of the park but I like to think that I certainly stepped up to the plate. I like to think that I did the team (and the fans) proud.
This working relationship would later go on to more assignments with MVCreations that were very fulfilling and challenging as a writer but they just were not the same. I was really licking my chops and hoping for an opportunity to dig deep and carve a niche in the He-Man mythology. I had a story for Two-Badd that would have knocked peoples socks off! But then it all disintegrated away.
Because of the frickin’ lawyers.
It was a hard hit to get back up from and, at the time, I didn’t know where my next assignment would come from. So there was a lot of regret revolving around Masters of the Universe. It seemed like I had missed an opportunity that I could have done so much more with. And those always tend to gnaw at you…
And then, back in April of 2008, everything changed.
Unfortunately, because of my Non-Disclosure Agreements, this is the first time I am able to talk openly about this. But now, the cat is out of the bag. So, here goes.
Because of a good working relationship with Val Staples and the gang over at MVC, I was approached to do a He-Man revival… kind of. When a television show is produced, writers have to work a serious amount of time ahead to keep schedule with animation and the actual production of the show. So the idea was to produce a comic book based on one of the un-produced cartoon scripts. And this would be packaged in with the DVD release of the third and final volume of the Masters of the Universe cartoon series.
This was a pretty big deal for me. I should have checked it earlier, as the DVD was officially released on August 5th. However, as of 8/9/08, this DVD ranked #489 in all DVD sales at Amazon.com. And Amazon sells thousands of DVDs. Thousands. I did a quick check and top sellers were pre-orders for things like Iron Man, Indiana Jones, and TV shows like Heroes and Prison Break.
So my job was to adapt the cartoon script into a comic book that would be penciled by Emiliano Santalucia. Now, let me just take a moment here. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What is beautiful to some may just be mediocre to others but there is certain art that I really respond to. Jim Lee, Mike Turner, Art Adams, Al Rio, Ed Benes, J. Scott Campbell, and this is just naming a few.
But Emiliano’s artwork was just perfect for the He-Man series. The two were made for each other. A guest penciller named Fabio Laguna was brought in for my issue of Masters and we have worked together on multiple projects since. I am not knocking his artwork in any way but I really wanted to see what Emiliano would do with a Ryan Foley script. To me, it would be like writing Spider-Man for Todd McFarlane or JLA for Howard Porter. Certain projects are born for certain people. And I really regretted not being able to work with Emiliano. And then the cosmic tumblers all clicked into place.
So I just got my copy of the DVD from the video department at Reasor’s. The art on the comic is fantastic and I am really looking forward to going back and revisiting all the “Snake Men” episodes of the series.
Part of me is still hoping against hope that the comic could make some sort of triumphant return but I think that is my heart talking instead of my head. Still, it was so great to back into that world… if only for one last issue.
Plus, it is pretty darn cool that a comic of mine has reached such a wide audience. I don’t know what the sales counts are on the series but if they are in the Top 500 at Amazon, sales have to be pretty good. How weird will it be to be able to walk into my local Wal-Mart and say, “Hey, a comic I had a hand in is on that shelf”? I know it is just one little comic on a little DVD but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Maybe I will get to do an autograph signing on an animated series for The Praetorian at some point down the line. You never know…

Attempting to Achieve Perfection

As an amateur tech geek, I’m never quite satisfied and I’m also extremely cheap. So when I got my new Razor phone a few months back, I was not going to settle for bad graphics and paying for ring tones. Screw that noise. So with a little digging on the ‘Net and using some cool programs, I started to make and load my own ring tones.
I took great pride in this, trying to find the perfect tone for important people in my address book. I was particularly proud of several of my creations.
Some of my ring tones were funny, often delving into the world of rap because it has the best beats. So for times, certain songs would ring out. The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground. Ass Like That by Eminem. Money Maker by Ludacris.
For my general ring tone, I tried to do something that was signature of me. White & Nerdy by Weird Al. The theme from Futurama. Stuff like that. Right now my default ring tone is a hip musical clip from Ocean’s 11.
I also like assigning personal ring tones to friends that call a lot. I was particularly proud of a mix I created from the song Guy Love that was featured in the musical episode of Scrubs. If you missed the episode, you can check it out on YouTube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL4L4Uv5rf0
I’m providing the link because of the scary results that could come from you Googling “Guy Love.” Anyway, that ring tone is for my friend Luke who is my island of sanity in the chaos and depressive ocean that is my job.
Of course, the person that calls me the most is my wife. So she gets the top of the line songs. And the question you have to ask yourself is, “How can you improve on perfection?”
For the longest time, the ring tone that would play was Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On. To this day, that song is one of the sexiest ever recorded. And it is signature. You can hear the first four notes and recognize it immediately. Plus, I felt that it was the perfect music to play so I could hear it and say, “Amy’s calling.” As we are not supposed to have our phones with us at work, most phones get left on the office desk and when that familiar tone would ring out, everyone would know, “Amy’s calling Ryan.”
So how can you improve on perfection? True, it is perfect but it can also grow stale. I was hoping to find a new signature song that was reflective of our relationship and could become a new tone for her. Give that she is a woman (and what a woman!), I knew it had to be a female voice that called out.
And then last Monday I was first exposed to what might be the single sexiest song of the modern music era. I think that it will be in the same league as Peggy Lee’s Fever, the as mentioned Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On (I’d throw Sexual Healing in there too), and Michael Buble’s version of I’ve Got You Under My Skin. But as things have gotten more promiscuous over the years and the bar has been raised, it is more along the lines of Bell Biv Devoe’s Do Me! and Garbage’s Number One Crush.
I never really got into the whole Bubblegum Pop era. Still, who would have thought a former member of the Mickey Mouse Club would produce one of the sexiest (and most sexually suggestive!) songs since… well… ever.
Still, I have found the perfect ring tone for my wife: Christina Aguilera’s Nasty Naughty Boy.
If you have not heard this song (and I had not until this last Monday) I give it Ryan Foley’s Strongest Possible “Space Shuttle” Thumbs Up rating. 100% Awesome. The greatest stripper song EVER and the most incredible euphemisms of all time. “Put your icing on my cake.” Giggity!

I need that song played during my Happy Birthday lap dance. Make it happen, Nation!

“A Fat Woman Came Into the Shoe Store Today…”

I would like to take this time to speak of a living legend. A man who is so great, his legend should be immortalized for all time. Of course, I speak of the legend that is Al Bundy – the man who scored four touchdowns in a single game. He played high school football, dammit! All-City back in ’66. So here is some trivia questions for you to see if you are just die hard or casual fans of the show Married…With Children.
1) What high school did Al Bundy attend?

2)What was his jersey number?

Sadly, when referencing Al Bundy at work, far too few of my employees even knew whom I was talking about. As temperatures are breaking the century mark right now, everyone seems to be complaining about the heat and most people comment about the great air conditioning in the grocery store. Frozen sections, meat departments, produce, the place is pretty cold.
This prompted me to reference the episode in which the Bundys—in an attempt to escape a heat wave—move into a grocery story to live for a time. For the record, the episode is called “You Better Shop Around” from Season 5.
I started to look around and think, “Am I really getting this old?” I guess the show has been off the air for a while but I think that you would still be hard pressed to find a better character than Al Bundy. I live for that first moment when Al walks through the front door of his crummy house and the live studio audience breaks into thunderous cheers. That moment is comedy gold every time.
Unfortunately, Married fell into the same trap as many great TV shows where the ending of the series was rather lackluster. But I still miss that program. God bless the FX Network.
If you are under eighteen and reading this blog, take my advice, kids. Get watching! It’s a classic.

Answers: Polk High & #33

Some of the better Al Bundy Quotes:

• "A fat woman comes into the shoe store today, and she's so huge that she's protected by Greenpeace, and asked for a size four shoe. I asked her if she wants to eat them there or take them home. And she has the nerve to complain about my performance.”


• “A fat woman came into the shoe store today and asked for something to wear for a walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggested a sandwich sign saying, "Don't shoot, from the front I look human." Now you think a good natured, jolly lady like that could take some good-humored teasing, but what does she do? That cow goes and complains to the owner who then gives her a gift certificate for $200 worth of free shoes. Now you know whose paycheck that's going to come out of?”


• “A fat woman came into the shoe store today and wanted a pair of shoes to wear to a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star on her butt, and go as the world’s largest, ugliest Christmas tree. Then she has the nerve to get mad at me because she's fat.”


• “I've had a rotten day, and I'm in a foul mood. A fat woman came into the shoe store today and said that she was a size five. I shoved her hoof into a shoe, my thumb got stuck in the back of the shoe. She panicked, reared up, and galloped around the store, dragging me on the floor behind her. Thank God a stick of butter popped out of her purse, so I was able to grease my way out of there.”


• “A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today and said, ‘I need something I'd be comfortable in.’ So, I said, ‘Try Wyoming.’”


• “Hey kids, here's a real funny story. Did you know that while I was in the hospital, Daddy's nurse was a fat woman who used to come into his shoe store? "Used to" is the term because her patronage fell off one day when she came in and asked for something to make her foot look small. So I said, ‘Try your ass.’ She remembered me all right. Then we laughed, until she picked up a catheter the size of a boa constrictor and charged.”

And this is no doubt one of the best Married… with Children quotes ever:
Al Bundy: Peg, this is $10,000. You know what I could do with $10,000?

Peggy Bundy: Take 10,000 trips to the nudie bar?

Al Bundy: No, just one great one

And The Oscar Goes To...

I’ve never been a big fan of the Academy Awards. I don’t really hold film critics in high regard either. It seems like movies that critics hate, I love and movies that critics love, I hate. I think one of the big moments was the film Armageddon, which was trashed by critics yet made the most money during the year of its release. As I rarely pay attention to all of Hollywood’s ballyhoo, I don’t know what constitutes an Oscar-worthy performance.
Jack Nicholson is a multiple Academy Award winner. Yet I feel that his best role was that of Nathan R. Jessup in A Few Good Men. No mention of Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Sam Elliott’s performance in We Were Soldiers certainly seemed worth of a supporting award. No mention. Samuel L. Jackson’s performance in Pulp Fiction got him a nomination (well deserved). And Kevin Spacey’s performance in The Usual Suspects also was well worthy—still the best ending in film ever….
I don’t understand when movies like Chicago get awards for make up but then Star Trek movies are not nominated. How hard is it to make Catherine Zeta-Jones beautiful?
And then you have a performance from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (stay with me) in Gridiron Gang where he plays an ex-football player. Hmmm. Not a big stretch. He put out a great performance but it wasn’t a huge leap for him as a movie star.
To me, a great performance is when the person that you are watching disappears and completely becomes the character. I love DeNiro and Pacino but they often seem like DeNiro and Pacino playing a role rather than being the character that they are on screen. (Scent of a Woman is a big exception.)
I’m a big George Clooney fan but it always seems like he is cool guy George playing a role… until I saw O Brother, Where Art Thou? In that movie, Clooney was clearly Ulysses Everette McGill.
Another prime example is watching outtakes from My Name is Earl and seeing Jason Lee come out of the “Earl” character.
To me, that constitutes a great performance. And working with those criteria, then there is one performance above all this year. I have witnessed one of the greatest performances on film where the actor disappeared and completely became the character. And I will even go on record as to say that Hannibal Lector has been eclipsed as the best psychopath to ever grace the silver screen.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Heath Ledger as The Joker in The Dark Knight.

Ledger’s performance is one for the ages. The Joker is far more terrifying and sadistic than ever before in this most recent Batman film. He is an agent of anarchy and chaos. Ledger’s performance was, quite frankly, unbelievable and is worth repeated viewings. He is a very cerebral villain and is head and shoulders above what one would consider when you think of a villain in a “super hero” movie.
Of course, Ledger’s performance is probably enhanced—just a little bit—by Heath Ledger’s untimely death that was in a single word, sad.
While I know that the Joker has been portrayed by several actors over the years and the mantle will be taken up again, for this particular franchise with Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale, I hope that they will move on to other villains and not revisit the Joker, just to give Ledger all the honor that he deserves. Ledger took a classic villain that had been around for decades but clearly made it his own.
For the first time in a Batman movie, I was more impressed with the villain than with the hero. And given how much of a Batman fan I am, that’s saying something. In the movie, The Joker asked, “Why so serious?” But I can tell you that Ledger’s portrayal was incredibly serious. It was Oscar serious.

Long live the Clown Prince of Crime.

Taking Some Time for Yourself

It seems like for a least the last year, my life has been about future plans. I’ve been so focused on the future and what is coming next that I have stopped to smell the proverbial roses. I mean, when your biggest treat of the month is purchasing the latest Futurama DVD, clearly there is some joy missing in your life…
I have been struggling with a job that, quite frankly, I don’t like. Don’t get me wrong. It is not 100% percent bad. There is a small clique of people that I really enjoy working with. And strangely, my loyalty is to them more than the store itself.
While I probably should not be posting this, I did a little math over the 4th of July weekend. During that weekend, for an eight-hour shift, I made the store approximately $1808. And for that, they paid me $74.40. Yeah. Kinda disheartening. I don’t care how you slice it. That’s busting ass.
So 4th of July is the biggest weekend of the year. It is a butt kicker. It is long hours with not enough help and not nearly enough time off. It takes a long time to even recover from such madness.
This past Monday, everyone received his or her checks with all the overtime from the 4th. So a small collection of us decided to go out and have some fun. It was well worth it. We all deserved it.
With working full time, and writing between part time and full time, taking care of the kids, taking care of the house, and Amy busy with school, I often feel like there is not enough time for me in the day. It’s pretty darn rough.
And, as is an unfortunate fact of life, it seems like my friend base is starting to wear thin. My poker game has broken up. Weekend game nights have been slowly dissolving. Everyone is getting pulled in different directions. It happens. I know. That’s life, right? Still, I hate it and I cannot find a way to change it…
So with all of this work and responsibility, I have almost become hermit like. My contact with the outside world is becoming limited at best. I don’t go anywhere. I don’t do anything. I watch movies. I watch shows from my DVR. I read my comic books. I collect action figures (which keeps me occupied for about one month and then down for four).
Well, and then there is the money factor. Point of fact is that right now, I don’t have a lot of money to throw around. I’ve limited my comic intake. I quit buying my Original Music Scores from films that I love so much. I quit going to Wal-Mart. I just don’t do a whole lot.
But then here was this overtime check.
So I splurged.
We got a babysitter and I took my wife out on the town for an evening of entertainment. I cannot remember the last time that we have gone out for fun.
We both got dressed up and went and had a fancy meal. By “fancy” I mean that the restaurant didn’t have any clown mascots and the food didn’t come in a Styrofoam containers. (Okay, I know fast food restaurants don’t use Styrofoam anymore but I’m making a point.) So we had a nice meal at T.G.I. Fridays (that’s my current definition of fancy). We went to a bookstore and I snagged her a text for her nursing class and then we met my friends from work for a few drinks… it was at an establishment at 39th and Sheridan and will say no more. If you know, you understand.
When playing football (or any organized sport), there is a certain camaraderie in the locker room that is really unlike anything else. Everyone is all looking in the same direction. Everyone has the same goal. And for that night, everyone’s goal was the same: Thank God the 4th of July holiday is over.
It was an evening with a lot of laughter and smiling until my face hurt. It was an evening where everyone could forget their troubles for an evening and just relax.
Truth be told, I had forgotten what that was like. For an evening, I put my crap job aside. For an evening, I put my comic books aside. For an evening, I put the kids aside.
Now don’t hate me. Don’t send angry comments. Truth is the only ones that would send angry comments are people who don’t have kids. I love my kids and I have given them everything. But for your own sanity, sometimes you have to be reminded that you are an individual.
You need time for yourself. I realize now that you need time to relax. You need time to go out and have fun.
That can be hard when you are living off a crappy income from a crappy job, swimming chest deep in credit card debt, and have little to show at the end of the day, getting away for an evening of fun can be hard. After all, poor people don’t take vacations.
Still, I am hoping to find time to relax once every couple of months. I don’t get to go out and have fun enough. This past Monday was the most fun I have had in a long time. I got to sit beside my lovely wife and I was surrounded by friends who make me laugh. It was a great time for all involved. I just hope I can stretch the rest of my paycheck until August 4th. If I can’t you made read a surprisingly different blog in a few weeks. Still, even if money is a little thin, it was totally worth it.
It really is the little things in life. One good evening of fun with friends can erase months of hardship. So if it has been too long for you, take my advice.
Do yourself a favor. Go out and have some fun…

Challenging Yourself for Improvement

Years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting comic book artist Michael Turner at one of the comic book conventions down in Tulsa. Mike Turner is a tremendously talented artist who, at the time, was tearing it up with Witchblade and did a mini-series that I loved called Ballistic. I remember that he said something that was very curious to me from a creative standpoint. In one of his panel discussions, he talked about how he was not good at drawing certain things. One of the things he mentioned was a curtain. So he draped material around his station where he worked and filled his book with all sorts of curtains. And I remember thinking to myself at the time, why would he fill his books with art that he is not good at drawing?
And the answer is so you can stretch your wings and get better as an artist.
I have experienced such a wing-spreading experience lately.
Again, years ago, when my comic and writing career was stagnant and going nowhere, for a time, I considered “selling out” and writing one of those steamy romance novels that are always in the grocery stores by the checkout line. It is cheesy, I know, but that is a frickin’ huge chunk of the market… and I was going to use a pen name.
So I tried to write this story but with no tights, flights, super powers or gun battles, I couldn’t keep myself in front of the computer typing. And it might have had something to do with the fact that the story was terrible…
The majority of my projects thus far have been a lot of adrenaline-fueled action stories filled with valiant heroes and big, buff warriors. But after speaking at a college about comic books (to an all women audience), I realized that comics are predominantly a male field but there are female readers as well. Where are their books? What about their market?
So I decided to adapt one of histories greatest romances into a comic book.
I know. Me? Writing a romance? My personal belief is that you should write who you are. And I would not consider my life to be in the romantic comedy movie genre. That is not to say that I don’t wine-and-dine my wife every now and then. What I am saying that my life is not exactly permeated with romance, so it is not the type of story that I would be inclined to write. (My life is not filled with combat with aliens or fights in gladiator arenas either but that stuff is cool.)
When I first pitched my idea to my publisher, I was nervous. Could I write a romance? Would it enthrall me? Would it keep me at the keyboard? But now that I have finished my first draft of my first romance comic, I am proud to state that I could not be happier with the end result. I think the comic is going to be fantastic and I can’t wait to share more about it as publishing time comes closer.
I believe that the story has allowed me to grow as an artist and become a better writer. Could there be a better goal?
More soon.