I have had three people in my life that have been incredibly influential and could not be more diametrically different. Yet, all three have one common factor that links them all together. The first is my father. The second is my high school football coach. The third is the store director at my 9-to-5 job. The one trait that all these men share is that I never wanted to disappoint them. 
If I was ever addicted to crystal meth and had to be on that show Intervention, all it would take is a panel of these three men in which they all say to me, “I am very disappointed in you, son.” I would shatter like a pane of glass and then be ready to be built back up by one of those motivational speakers that yell at you and you thank them for it afterwards. Pay attention, Ray Lewis. Just saying… There are job opportunities out there after football.
The relationship with my father has always been a strong one. Given the fact that he gave me life, food, shelter, and so forth, it seems pretty obvious why I would not want to disappoint him. Yet, not all people have a similar relationship with their paterfamilias. Others could care less what their fathers’ think of them.
Then there is my football coach. His coaching style left you with a desire to make him happy. I remember blowing a big play and then having to make that horrible run to the sidelines after the series was over. Yet, not all coaches can inspire that kind of relationship with their players. If you could, there would be none of these sorted tales of NFL players shooting themselves in the leg with a pistol tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants. There would be no Pacman Joneses. No Michael Vicks. They would not do stupid things for fear of disappointing their coaches. I watch America’s Game all the time on NFL Network and clearly, some coaches are better at this ability than others.
Then there is my boss at work. I cannot put my finger on it. I have worked with a large number of managers over the course of my retail career. I have found that some managers are promoted to a level of authority without being properly trained to truly manage people. Others just know how to treat people that work with them. Is it instinctive or is it taught? Is it both?
Regardless, I had to defuse a situation yesterday and I did it by taking power into my own hands. Better to go to them and say, “This is what I did” as opposed to them having to come to me. But in doing so, my biggest fear – the cottonmouth, the acid in the stomach – was that my boss would be disappointed with me. Granted, what I did was a minor infraction. There was never any fear that my job was actually in jeopardy but I did not want to have to make that “walk of shame.” And not the good kind that you make from a fraternity or sorority house where you at least have a story to tell and some inappropriate pictures on your cell phone (if you are lucky).
I did not want to disappoint him.
Curiously, one of my very good friends recently was involved in an incident and was transferred to another store. When we talked (at length) about what was going on, his biggest complaint with the entire situation is that he felt he had let Charley down. So, I am not the only person that feels this way. But I am sure that there are other people out there that could give a flip less what Charley (or their current boss) thinks of them.
So what is it? What is that intangible factor that motivates people to not be a disappointment in Person X’s eyes? Is it something instinctive where either you have it or you don’t? Can it be taught? More importantly, can it be bottled? What a powerful weapon that would be…
I have always wondered. Who drills the drill instructors? We have all seen R. Lee Ermey’s performance in Full Metal Jacket. Who are the instructors that train those men to become such revered teachers? Because I want to meet THAT person…
If I was ever addicted to crystal meth and had to be on that show Intervention, all it would take is a panel of these three men in which they all say to me, “I am very disappointed in you, son.” I would shatter like a pane of glass and then be ready to be built back up by one of those motivational speakers that yell at you and you thank them for it afterwards. Pay attention, Ray Lewis. Just saying… There are job opportunities out there after football.The relationship with my father has always been a strong one. Given the fact that he gave me life, food, shelter, and so forth, it seems pretty obvious why I would not want to disappoint him. Yet, not all people have a similar relationship with their paterfamilias. Others could care less what their fathers’ think of them.
Then there is my football coach. His coaching style left you with a desire to make him happy. I remember blowing a big play and then having to make that horrible run to the sidelines after the series was over. Yet, not all coaches can inspire that kind of relationship with their players. If you could, there would be none of these sorted tales of NFL players shooting themselves in the leg with a pistol tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants. There would be no Pacman Joneses. No Michael Vicks. They would not do stupid things for fear of disappointing their coaches. I watch America’s Game all the time on NFL Network and clearly, some coaches are better at this ability than others.
Then there is my boss at work. I cannot put my finger on it. I have worked with a large number of managers over the course of my retail career. I have found that some managers are promoted to a level of authority without being properly trained to truly manage people. Others just know how to treat people that work with them. Is it instinctive or is it taught? Is it both?
Regardless, I had to defuse a situation yesterday and I did it by taking power into my own hands. Better to go to them and say, “This is what I did” as opposed to them having to come to me. But in doing so, my biggest fear – the cottonmouth, the acid in the stomach – was that my boss would be disappointed with me. Granted, what I did was a minor infraction. There was never any fear that my job was actually in jeopardy but I did not want to have to make that “walk of shame.” And not the good kind that you make from a fraternity or sorority house where you at least have a story to tell and some inappropriate pictures on your cell phone (if you are lucky).
I did not want to disappoint him.
Curiously, one of my very good friends recently was involved in an incident and was transferred to another store. When we talked (at length) about what was going on, his biggest complaint with the entire situation is that he felt he had let Charley down. So, I am not the only person that feels this way. But I am sure that there are other people out there that could give a flip less what Charley (or their current boss) thinks of them.
So what is it? What is that intangible factor that motivates people to not be a disappointment in Person X’s eyes? Is it something instinctive where either you have it or you don’t? Can it be taught? More importantly, can it be bottled? What a powerful weapon that would be…
I have always wondered. Who drills the drill instructors? We have all seen R. Lee Ermey’s performance in Full Metal Jacket. Who are the instructors that train those men to become such revered teachers? Because I want to meet THAT person…
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