100 Things You Might Not Know About Me...

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? On my forehead. Chicken Pox
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? For my bedroom? Mirrors and artistically bunched fabric.
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I snore but it is a soothing rhythmic sound that people pay big money to listen to. It provides blissful serenity and you sleep like a baby.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? My favorite is Original Music Scores from films but I've also become addicted to Breaking Benjamin.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 10:10 p.m. on 12-10.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? Head. No, Money. Well, head. No, money. Head while recieving money. BINGO! Best of both worlds.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? The days of ZERO responsibility where the biggest problem was finding a date on Friday night.
8. WHAT IS/ARE YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? My Comic Book and/or Action Figure Collection.
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5' 11"
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Not overly so.
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Depends on what's in the dark with me...
12. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED AND WHO WAS THE PERSON THAT MADE YOU CRY? When Obi-Wan Kenobi delivered Luke Skywalker to Tatooine. (Not all cries are bad cries, kids.)
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Curtains? Brown. Carpet? Neatly Trimmed.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Neither. I'm a freak, I know.
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Sasuage.
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? My wife.
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? Nope.
21. WHAT WAS THE MOST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? My replica of Anduril (the reforged sword) from Return of the King. It was the last Christmas gift my mom bought me and I received it after she passed away.
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? Nope.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? I like my Marvel comics clothes. Does that count as a brand?
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Waffle and Blackjack.
27. WHAT KIND ARE THEY? Our two "outside" cats.
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? I only fall in love if I know they are leaving. In the morning, please don't say you love me, 'cause you know I'll only kick you out the door. I'll pay your cab fare home. You can even use my best cologne. Just don't be here in the morning when I wake up.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 56
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Brunettes.
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? Home or Amy's Cell.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Four times
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Todd McFarlane. Art Adams.
37. FIRST JOB? Real job: Reasor's Grocery
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? When I was a kid.
41. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? Getting my ass handed to me at the World Series of Poker video game.
40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? Nope. I'm awesome.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My enormous member. And yes, it is out in public enough to be complimented on.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A winning jackpot lottery ticket. Actually, I'd like that right now.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? I don't want the one's I have!!! ;-) Kidding, my three are fine.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Ryan's a pretty Irish name.
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Yeah, but wishing on Angelina Jolie just drew restraining orders.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Whatever my wife buys.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sure.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Bologna
52. ANY BAD HABITS? Chronic masturbation but is that really "bad"? I mean really, who's getting hurt in that situation?
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Who doesn't want to be friends with me? Seriously. GIVE ME NAMES, DAMMIT! Because they will GET IT when I find out!
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?. See #52. (Oh, no wait, that's shame.)
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE GAME AS A CHILD? Army.
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? 16. Yeah. I'm popular.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? As you can tell by these answers I am 100% forthright and honest in all my comments.
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed Potatoes
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? The Incredible Love Machine That Can Go All Night Long but the only one that calls me that is Luke and Aaron for some reason.
68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Scrubs, My Name is Earl, Prison Break, Lost
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? I have all of mine and several extras that I have claimed from hobos that I keep in jars filled with formaldahyde.
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM? I'm married so I don't really have a "your room." My computer is in the living room.
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT? See Question #18.
74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? 100 mph the day I got my license. (Thank you, Dee!)
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Wouldn't any answers be a disappointment after reading my ramblings?
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? "Diner" by Martin Sexton. (Trust me, kids, it is an awesome song.)
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Fresh tears produced by viciously clubbed baby seals. (It keeps me vigorous!)
78. LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED ON THE PHONE? Justin "The Dude" Burks.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Boobs. In truth, I notice little else.
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Hitler. Yeah, I'm gonna go with Hitler because I wouldn't want these answers to offend anyone.
82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? December
83. FAVORITE COUNTRY? U.S.A.
84. CANDY? Reese's Fastbreak.
85. FAVORITE VACATION? Tie between Orlando and Las Vegas.
86. FAVORITE EYE COLOR? No preference as long as they match.
87. FAVORITE SHOES? Those huge platform shoes that strippers wear. But I actually like what is in them more. Yeah, I'd rather just look at strippers.
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? Arby's
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? Goldies.
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? Never had it.
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Fastlane recorded on my DVR. I love technology.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? December 25th
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? I play a wicked awesome air guitar.
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Republicans suck and Democrats blow. Is there a third option?
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Lunch. (I was too embarassed to put "lap dance" on this thing. People might get the wrong idea.)
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader.
100. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE AT THE MOMENT? One? I've got dozens. And your time is almost up. Soon you will all pay for your actions! You'll live to regret what you did... but not for very long...........

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

So I have been lucky enough to sell not just one but two original comic book mini-series to my publisher Arcana Studios. After scrambling through the summer season at my 9-to-5 job, I have been pushing hard to get the series actually written. I had one of the six issues written [think of it like a pilot TV episode] and then had to actually write the other five issues once my editor okayed the series.
Since I am still fairly new to the comic industry, I wanted my series to be really tight and concise with no plotholes. This meant writing the majority of the series before we started the art. (As of this writing, I have about 75% of Issue #6 of the six-issue series completed and artwork on Issue #1 has started.)
Now, I have said many times that one of my favorite parts of the comic book process is getting those first batch of emails with artwork on them to see how the artist has translated my word into pictures.
Up until now, all my work has been commissions where I get a script and my editors (bosses) say, “Write about this.”
However, for the first time, I am seeing my vision transformed into pictures. My artist has sent me the first page of artwork. It is only five panels but I cannot express my feelings. It is just such an awesome sensation when I look at the art. I actually get giddy. Giddy!
For the first time, this is my story, my characters, my locations. So if this bad boy is terrible, it is all on me. But I have tremendous high hopes for the series. I can’t wait to share this story with my friends and family. (I’m no where near big enough yet to actually have fans.)

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

Ah, lazy Sundays… Ppshhaw! Lazy is the last way I would describe it. Okay, so I worked my shift at the store. After having the first Sunday in over a month that wasn’t soaked out by rain, I guess people didn’t want to spend the day shopping for groceries. It worked out for me because I got to leave early.
So I came home and submitted four comic book issues and two series overview files to my publisher and artist. That’s right kids, I’ve got my original series flying along big time.
And while I am working on these original projects, my previous commission is being developed by an artist named Gian Fernando who is a tremendous talent from the Phillipeens. This stage of the comic book game is the one that I like the best. It is the stage where the artist is sending in work and I get to see how my writing translated to the page.
Many times the artist pulls off really cool stuff or angles that just perfectly capture what you have in your head. It is probably why I love the comic industry so much because it is a collaborative, team effort but it is a relatively small team so very little is lost in translation.
As I am coming to the end of my two original project, I could not be happier regarding their outcome. Again, I wish I could disclose more details but I’m not certain what I can get away with legally. Give me a little more time and hopefully I will be able to share more details.
So with fighting the holiday madness and trying to get through two original projects has been pretty taxing. Still, I think I have amply stepped up to the plate and delivered a big home run.
Honest to goodness, I’ve spent time on my lunch hours choreographing fight scenes between a vampire and a vampire hunter and writing out descriptions of a fantasy arena for gladiators to fight in. Could I have a better job? Well except maybe an employee at the porn star bra and panties fitting salon but one step at a time.
While I was proofreading, people in the break room and were astonished to look at a fifty-page script and said, “You wrote all that?” One girl complimented me, saying it was amazing that my brain works the way it does—which I take as a huge compliment.
While it is not full time (yet), I thank goodness that I am finally working in an industry that is perfect for me.

More information soon.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

Top Ten Cool Things in My Life Right Now

10. My Blog. In August, I will have been keeping this blog for a year. Recently I made the decision to archive these entries on my hard drive which I will eventually print out. It is a neat little time capsule that reflects back on my life. It’s like a journal but cooler. If you don’t have one, get one.

09. Christmas Shopping. That’s right, losers. Christmas shopping for my wife is over. God bless overtime hours. Eat it, procrastinators. I am your antithesis. Fear and/or worship me!

08. My DVR. We recently upgraded our satellite package and now we have a DVR (Digital Video Recorder). I’ve quit watching live TV and now I can fast forward through commercials. Watch what I want when I want. Pause live TV if someone calls. Totally cool.

07. Darth Vader. I’m currently reading Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader which is the novel sequel to Episode III. It is a very unique look and insight into film’s greatest villain.

06. Breaking Benjamin. I’ve become a big fan of Breaking Benjamin. I think the singer has a good voice and the drummer is phenomenal. I haven’t liked a rock group this much since Puddle of Mudd. Check their music out, espeically Breath, Blow Me Away, and Here We Are.

05. Tomb Raider. When people are in miserable financial shape, it means selling off prized possessions at less than market value. And since I have no pride, I’m the perfect person to capitalize on said misery! (You show me a man with pride, I’ll show you a man with limited options.) Because of this I purchased an X-Box 360. The first game I purchased? Tomb Raider: Legends. And word around the campfire is that The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena is in the works for a fall release. I’m saving my money already!

04. Republic Commando. Since the X-Box 360 is backwards compatible, I now get to play all those cool games that came out for the X-Box… and play them at dirt cheap, used prices from Game Stop. My first X-Box game? Star Wars: Republic Commando! I also just got GTA: Vice City. Hey, it’s new to me!!!

03. Movie Season! While some have been disappointing (Spider-Man 3), others have lived up to the hype (Pirates of the Caribbean, Ocean’s 13) and some have exceeded expectations (Fantastic Four), I still have Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers, and the next Harry Potter to look forward to. Man, I love movies.

02. Working with Artists. Back in February, I was contracted to work on a comic book mini-series for Arcana Studios. [Details to be disclosed later.] I finished the scripts back in late March/early April and submitted them. In mid-April a very talented penciler named Gian Fernando (located in the Philippeens) was brought to the project and he has been working on the pencils. So I get pages via email every few days and it is exciting to see how the artist transforms my words into pictures. It is just very, very cool!

01. Working on Original Projects. While I have enjoyed the commission work, I have sold two original ideas to Arcana Studios. My first mini-series is about vampires. I submitted my first two (of five) issues to my publisher and my editor has given me Issues #3 & #4. Having just implimented these changes, I think the series is shaping up to be a real humdinger. I think this is going to be a real springboard to my career.
But not content to just sit idly by while waiting for edits, I have already moved on to my second original mini-series (this one about gladiators) that is going to be six issues long. I have started work on Issue #6. And it is shaping up to be a really great series. I can’t wait to tell you all more about it!!!

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Okay, so I am currently working in the produce department of a local grocery store to give us money while Amy is in school. It’s not a bad job. It’s not excessively hard work. It’s air-conditioned. I like the majority of my co-workers. I try not to think about the fact that this is the same place I worked in high school. I don’t want to fall into that trap of “I’m too good for this job but too lazy to go out and find a better one.” I know that I am out as soon as Amy gets a job and that will allow me to go back to writing full time. (More on that in the next blog!)
It is no secret (at least to me) that the grocery business is a young man’s game. And in a few more years, I will be bringing Alex and Jason to meet my man James to get them a job. So working in the place gives me a certain connection to the youth of today.
So I am working today with my guy Nolan. So we are lining up the apples and Dave (my boss) is working the fruit. And I’m yelling (if you can call it that) about how the apple overflow should always be to the right. It was kind of a “Laces OUT, Dan!” moment.
So Dave comments on how the rack should be a living breathing thing that can expand and contract, giving more space to items that sell more. To this I said, “Well I guess if you want anarchy and chaos to reign.”
Dave talked about how I clearly needed to having things neat and orderly.

To which I replied, “Yes. I would have made a great Stormtrooper. Or more accurate, Clone Trooper. And I mean the cool clone troopers. Not the guys from Episode II with the fin. I mean the 501st Troopers from Episode III. The guys with the bad ass helmets with the T-visors and the blue armor. Right, Nolan?”
To which Nolan says, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Of course, I am appaled by this and said, “You have seen Star Wars right?”
And he talks about how he saw them a long time ago.
I said, “A long time ago? Episode I came out in ’99?”
At which time Nolan would have been around eight-years-old.
Now, keep in mind, I’m only 32-years-old but, suddenly, I feel very… very… old.

Note: When I hit the lottery, along with a Vader costume, I will totally have 501st Clone Trooper costumes on manniquens standing guard at the entrance to my home theater. Maybe more than two. Maybe four or six... Oh yes. I will have them…

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

Well, for the last few years I have been working at a grocery store that serves as a gateway to the weekend destination spot for all the rich folks of the Green Country area of Oklahoma. It is a nightmare weekend where sales are through the roof. Which would be fine if the employees got profit sharing but instead it is a time where you basically bust tail for your entire shift and beyond. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to it. The paycheck will be nice but it is times like this where I really wish I could just work in comic books full time.
Summertime continues to fly by. I would have to do the math but I think it is safe to say the kids are probably past (or very close) to the halfway point of their vacation. And we are pretty darn close to the halfway point of the year. Where all has 2007 gone?
Despite the long hours and minimal pay of my 40-hour-a-week job, I have been still plugging away with my comic projects and I am hoping to complete more and more in July but a lot of that will be dependent upon my work schedule. My goal is use this blog as a showcase for the creative process and show how the workings of a writer’s mind. Maybe if I can get a few minutes of peace and quiet, I’ll get to work on that.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

There are many philosophers and theorists that state that life is a journey. The typical play on that is that life is a journey and not a destination. I tend to subscribe to this theory but I believe that life is like a highway. (Go ahead and sing some of the Tom Cochrane song lyrics.)
But as you travel down your highway of life, there are many off ramps and interchanges that can lead you in different directions. I think it is these forks in the road that you come to and you have to decide which road to go down.
I think it is human nature to look back on those choices and wonder which different direction your life could have taken. The three big choices that change your life probably come down to spouse, children, and career because these choices invariably have the biggest impact on your life or—in keeping with the metaphor—have the biggest interchanges. It is these three moments that you look back and wonder how your life could have been different.
Here very recently, I have been considering my career path. I feel that every person has a destiny. Typically this destiny is often associated with your career because, let’s face it, in American society—more often than not—you are what you do. I do not personally feel that this is the case.
I think that a person has to find their destiny and that is what brings them to happiness in their life. Unfortunately, no one can tell you what your destiny is. That is something that you have to discover for yourself.
However, there are the lucky few—that small percentage—that discover their destiny and are able to make a living at it. Those people are the truly happy. They don’t ask for vacation time. They don’t dread getting out of bed in the morning to go to their daily grind. No, they leap out of bed both happy and excited.
I am on my way to becoming one of the bed-leapers. Unfortunately, the paychecks from writing comic books are not substantial and frequent enough (yet) for me to become solely dependent upon them.
I currently have a full time job to pay the bills but I consider it my second job and writing is my first. And in the words of every bong-smoking hippie from the ‘70s, “What a long strange trip it has been.”
Remember how I said that life is a journey and decisions you make take you down one road instead of another. I like to think that writing comics was (and is) my destiny. In a way, I don’t like that word because it makes it sound like I didn’t have a choice. While the pull of writing has been impossibly strong (imagine it like the four-lane highway), there were many off ramps that I could have taken to take me off my path.
I think anyone who works in a creative endeavor often looks back on their lives and wonders about the choices that they make (both big and small) and wonder what might have been and what could have been.
I have turned down opportunities and offers and paths that could have lead me in a different direction but in the end, I think that pursuing my dream will make me happier and in the long run that makes me a better person.

Why is “Bra” singular and “Panties” plural?

So back a few years ago, I saw information about something called a Force FX Lightsaber. It is a scale replica of lightsabers used in the Star Wars movies that have fluorescent lights with motion and clashing sounds. They were pretty darn expensive but very, very cool.
Then when I saw the blades in action on a reality TV show, I really wanted to get one. I remember my mom telling me (in her infinite wisdom) that if I bought one, I would have to buy two so I could fight with someone. I gave her the pish tosh and said, “No, I just want the one to put on my desk.” The one I purchased was Mace Windu’s purple lightsaber from Episode II: Attack of the Clones. After I got it home, opened it up, put the batteries in and turned it on, I realized… Mom was right.
It has been a few years since that first purchase but in that time I have purchased Darth Vader’s from Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, two Darth Maul’s from Episode I: The Phantom Menace (which combine together to make the full 7’ double-bladed lightsaber, and I have my blue Obi-Wan Kenobi lightsaber from Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
There are rumors floating that they are supposed to make Qui-Gon Jinn’s green lightsaber from Episode I. I plan on purchasing that one and then I swear I am done. That will give me a purple, blue, green, and two (technically three) red lightsabers.
See, in bright daylight, it is very tough to tell that the blades are on. Fighting in total darkness is kind of rough because you cannot see your surroundings and the light of the blades tend to be somewhat blinding. But there is a magic hour between dusk and darkness where you can see the blades clearly and still see your opponent. Needless to say, the neighbors must just shake their heads when they see the boys and me out on the front lawn. Many epic battles have been fought in the front and side lawns. Yes, some have involved the trampoline. But now that we have two “good Jedi” lightsabers, we can have two Jedi knights fighting against a deadly Sith Lord. And I need both of my double blades of the Darth Maul to defend against their relentless assault.
I’ve tried to get Amy to fight me but she considers it juvenile. Wimmens. So I’m off to fight yet another battle. Bothan spies have delivered secret information that a rogue Sith Lord is lurking in the Bantha pasture fields of the planet Adaira and the noble Jedi Knight Al-Ex Foelee and his skilled padawan Jay-Sunn have been sent by the Jedi Council to dispatch this dark lord…

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

It is funny. I went out last night with an old friend to have a few beers (I’m getting old, kids!) but that was the first time I had been out in a long time. Even though I am a bit a of a homebody to begin with, even our weekly poker games or just getting together to do nothing with my friends has begun to slowly fade away as I get older.

Also, last weekend, Amy’s 1994 high school graduating class held a thirteen-year reunion. (They failed to have a 10-year reunion because of an unmotivated class president.) Amy was integral in the reunion and used a lot of contacts through MySpace to organize it. This has caused me to think back to my old high school days.

Way back when, my mom told me that your spouse should be your best friend because more often than not, that is the person you spend the most time with. Here lately, I have been spending too much time at work but aside from that time, Amy is the person I spend most of my time with.
Now don’t get me wrong, Amy is the person I would most like to spend time with any way but there are times when I wish it could be different. I sometimes think it is unfair that life pulls all of us in different directions. Maybe if I could hit that big lottery things would change. But until then, I sometimes wish there could be some driving force that could get all of my old friends back together. Or even maintain regular contact.

Well, like Dandy Don Meredith used to say, “If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Christmas.”

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

You know I look at some people’s blogs and they update them daily. Man, I wish I had that much time on my hands!!!
Things have been busy for me lately but I want to consider that a good thing. Overtime means more money and this has been a heckuva couple o’ months! Aside from having to purchase a new van for Amy and working more than forty hours a week at my regular 9-to-5 job, I’m still trying to put together a comic career over here!
But news on that front is the best it has ever been. I have finished my last commissioned assignment and I am currently writing two original series. That’s right, kids. While I have been slogging through commissions and working with other people’s ideas, my publisher is showing enough faith in me to give me a shot at a few original series.
And I don’t want to sound like I am tooting my own horn but I think I have come p with two pretty impressive stories for my first outing. Time will tell but I wanted to let everyone know why I haven’t been updating my blog as regularly as I normally do.